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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Fantasy Romance/Erotica Short Story

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message 1: by J.R. (last edited Aug 23, 2015 05:55PM) (new)

J.R. Turner (jrturner) | 12 comments Hey everyone,
I'm venturing into a new genre and have the first "short" story near completed. They will be between 20-25,000 words long and have strong plots and characters. I'm a multi-published author in other genres, so I'm needing some feedback on this new genre for me. I would be happy to name anyone in acknowledgments if the beta reader would like. Here is the blurb for the first story:

#1 Immortal Pleasures
Charming and heartbroken Isabelle Rowan is your every day woman, until she meets Devon Mortell, a man with a secret so big it will destroy everything she knows about herself and the way the world works. Sexy Devon is driven to protect her once he unleashes her raw passion and begins an orgasmic storm that will not just leave them both breathless, but in deadly danger.

And here is a quick excerpt from the story where the heroine's mother introduces her to the hero at a dinner party:

“Honey, it’s so good to see you. Love the dress.” She kissed her on the cheek and pulled back. Her smile fell just a little and worry darkened her eyes. “You’re not eating enough. Look at you, skin and bones.” Then the smile came back. “We’ll take care of that tonight. I’m trying something new and I think you’ll want seconds. Everyone,” she hollered, barely pausing for breath, and turned to face the strangers at their table, “This is my daughter Isabelle. Isabelle, this is Mike and Linda, and that’s George her brother, and his best friend Devon.”
Isabelle smiled as they waved to her. Devon, the man who’s back was to her, turned and she almost lost her smile. He was drop-dead gorgeous. His dark thick brows hung over a brown gaze surrounded by thick black lashes that women would give their eye-teeth for. His mouth was molded by the Greek gods and his smile was just unfair to a girl who was trying her best to keep her jaw from dropping.
“Pleased to meet you,” he said, his voice far deeper than the average Joe.
Her mother’s eyes twinkled as she looked between them, then she cleared her throat. “And of course you know everyone else.”
Isabelle recovered and turned to the older couples, nodding and saying hello to each. But her gaze kept drifting back to Devon—which was impossible not to do because he was openly staring at her. If she wasn’t sure that she looked her best, she would have thought there was something wrong with her clothing. As it was, the new black lace panties and bra she wore felt a little too tight in all the right places. If he was gay, she was going to kill herself.

So, let me know if you're interested and I can send you the first 17,000 words or so right away as I'm still editing the very end of the story. Thanks so much!

message 2: by J.R. (new)

J.R. Turner (jrturner) | 12 comments Just completed edits on the last of the story. It comes in at just over 20K and I'm super excited as I think this is a very cool beginning to my new series. I'm previously published and have edited for a small press in the past so if you're looking for a good, solid read with little in the way of technical errors (I'm not perfect! :) ) then please lend a hand and give me some honest feedback. It is a new genre for me so I am nervous about that!

Thanks so much everyone!

message 3: by Imani (new)

Imani (ImaniLanai) | 29 comments I'll read this for you! Sounds like a great story to pass the time between projects. I'd love to offer feedback.

message 4: by J.R. (new)

J.R. Turner (jrturner) | 12 comments Thanks so much Imani! I sent you a message :)

message 5: by J.R. (new)

J.R. Turner (jrturner) | 12 comments I want to thank Jennifer and Lisa who have given me excellent feedback!! I'm looking forward to hearing from the others as this is quite an adventure for me. I nearly quit writing when my publisher folded and I lost my writing group (long story!) so it's amazing and totally precious (sorry, that's just the perfect word) to me to finally have feedback after nearly a year of struggling alone. You all rock!! ;)

message 6: by J.R. (new)

J.R. Turner (jrturner) | 12 comments I also want to thank Imani and Kathy for the great help with the beta reading! Immortal Pleasures is published now and I'm running a review contest on my website for a free copy of the second in the series. You can see it here:

This group is so awesome and really helped renew my faith in my writing abilities. Thank you all soooo much!!

message 7: by Rayann (new)

Rayann Kendal | 46 comments Jenny,
Are you interested in swapping beta reads/critiques? I am just getting started in the genre as well and my stories are in the 20k and under, with multiple serials planned.

message 8: by J.R. (new)

J.R. Turner (jrturner) | 12 comments That would be awesome! :) You can email me at and we'll chat more :) Thanks so much!!


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