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General Chat - anything Goes > The singles bar!!!

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message 1: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments A place to pull up a chair, grab a drink and tell each other our dating horror stories!!


message 2: by Emma (last edited Aug 22, 2015 11:48AM) (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments So, I met up with a guy last week who is a prison officer. I was expecting a big burly guy (although did warn me that he was 5'7"). When he turned up to pick me up there is no way he is 5'7" and not burly in the slightest!!!
He was very full on and kept stroking my leg in the pub. Half way through the date he asked me 'so, do you like me then?'. Talk about awkward!!!!
He also did not take no very well when I said I didn't want a second date!!


message 3: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments He actually had no get up and go at all! I need someone with a bit of life!!

He had his penis pierced (not that I saw it) and I asked him why he had that done. His response? 'Well, I saw a prisoner with one and thought I might'. There was no answer to that!!!


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments You sure he wasn't a prisoner?


message 5: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Lol!! He offered to show me his handcuffs!!!....... I declined!


message 6: by Kath (new)

Kath Middleton | 25061 comments They say that begore you find the handsome prince you have to kiss a lot of frogs. ;)


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments But doesn't everyone have handcuffs?


message 8: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Kath wrote: "They say that begore you find the handsome prince you have to kiss a lot of frogs. ;)"

Lol true!!! I think I have kissed my fair share now!! Am ready for my prince!!

And lol!!! I haven't Patti have you?? Pink fluffy ones??


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments What's the point of fluffy handcuffs?


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 11041 comments My friends persuaded me to have a second date with a bloke I was unconvinced by, we went for a walk near where I live. His first comment was 'you can tell you live near Yorkshire by how the people look!' Nearly told him to get back in his car. Despite having an outdoorsy job, he turned up to walk round a reservoir with the wrong shoes and nothing to drink, so alternated between complaining and telling me the same tales from the first date! Didn't get a third date


message 11: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Desley (Cat fosterer) wrote: "My friends persuaded me to have a second date with a bloke I was unconvinced by, we went for a walk near where I live. His first comment was 'you can tell you live near Yorkshire by how the people..."

No I bet!!! My friends think it is hilarious that I keep meeting guys who can't drive!! Not sure why that is so funny!!


message 12: by David (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments Emma (Queen of the weirdo's) wrote: "So, I met up with a guy last week who is a prison officer. I was expecting a big burly guy (although did warn me that he was 5"7). When he turned up to pick me up there is no way he is 5"7 and not ..."

Emma, was he called Keith, by any chance? Not sure what he's doing these days, but he used to be a security guard.


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Now that's scary, David.


message 14: by David (last edited Aug 22, 2015 11:06AM) (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "Now that's scary, David."

I may have been gifted an idea for a sequel ;~)


message 15: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments David wrote: "Emma (Queen of the weirdo's) wrote: "So, I met up with a guy last week who is a prison officer. I was expecting a big burly guy (although did warn me that he was 5"7). When he turned up to pick me ..."

Lol!! No not Called Keith! His name is Paul


message 16: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments And the fluffy handcuffs stop the friction.... Or so I hear!!!


message 17: by David (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments Ah! but how certain can you be? Did you see any ID?


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments David wrote: "Patti (baconater) wrote: "Now that's scary, David."

I may have been gifted an idea for a sequel ;~)"


Uh oh.

Poor Emz is gonna be in a book.


message 19: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Patti (baconater) wrote: "David wrote: "Patti (baconater) wrote: "Now that's scary, David."

I may have been gifted an idea for a sequel ;~)"

Uh oh.

Poor Emz is gonna be in a book."


Ha!!! I need to dig that old writing out!! Have lots of material for someone lol!! I also have a copy of 2 messages from guys on an Internet dating site! They are their first contact with me and quite unbelievable!!!

David wrote: "Ah! but how certain can you be? Did you see any ID?"

Lol!!! No :-0


message 20: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Here is one of them! Is a long read but worth it:

Hi and thanks for reading my message.

Can I just start by saying how beautiful you are. Your photos are amazing and you are a stunning woman. You have a great look.

I best get to the point as I am sure you are busy and have hundreds of messages.

I am a kind, considerate and reliable guy who thinks women are superior to men.

With that in mind I would love to kiss your feet and shoes and show my respect to you. I am very submissive and will totally obey you and show you the upmost respect at all times. It mean the world to me to be able to do this for such a beautiful woman. I realise you are busy so perhaps you would allow me to bring you gifts or compensate you for your time in allowing me to kiss your feet.

I am educated (degree and MA), hardworking, honest and kind. I have my own car and a clean driving licence.

I am willing to do this any way that you are happy with. I would love a reply, and I just hope you might consider me.

We are close to each other (location wise) so I hope you might find this appealing.

All my respect to you


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments *shudder*


message 22: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Am trying to find the other one!! Is very funny


message 23: by Kath (new)

Kath Middleton | 25061 comments Grue! As in gruesome.


message 24: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Ok, this one I was never sure if he was serious or not. I didn't reply. Again a long message

Hello I am Duane I and I am pleased to meet you. I like your pictures and your profile shows you as a nice and decent person. I feel I have nothing to lose by sending a message as you never know xxx

I am a very open and honest person and feel that i would like to meet an understanding and caring lady. I have been trying to conquer an issue that i thought would be no great deal but it seems whenIi dated before and told about it after a couple of dates it would scare the lady away (maybe I was just unlucky am not sure, perhaps you could enlighten me more why it is such an issue x) so i have decided to be upfront and bravely honest to help you decide if it puts you off :/

(Please do not think I am looking for one night stands or anything like that am very genuine – should we talk you will soon realise that and there would be easier ways if I was xxx).
I am suffering from a complex form of night emission, It is basically similar to a wet dream but is not sexual in its feeling or mechanism and is very frustrating and exhausting. For about half of the week i can't sleep due to pressures and/or high blood pressure and headaches.I usually wake at around 3 or 4am and go through an ejaculation process but no semen will pass for at least ten minutes - this is difficult and tiring. I have been to different drs but they all just say it is night emissions but it is not that simple. I have had to deal with it myself and is often uncomfortable and I have found minor ways of circumventing this – subsequently it happens less frequently now so am on the up xxx.. I feel that as it happens less I may be able to have a loving relationship xx.

I am so sorry if you feel offended but i think it is best to be honest – seems there are not enough honest ones about x

I would be honoured if you would like to talk, about this or any other things, to find out if we could be compatible.

In hope and sincerity


message 25: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Whether serious or not was a lot to admit in first ever message!

Although my profile does say that I am a nurse


message 26: by David (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments Wow! They do say life is stranger than fiction :~/


message 27: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments You really couldn't make it up!!


message 28: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21833 comments Emma (Queen of the weirdo's) wrote: "You really couldn't make it up!!"

and probably wouldn't want to.....


message 29: by David (new)

David Manuel | 1147 comments Emma, let me be the first to suggest that rather than attempting to find a man, you get yourself a dog. Generally they are loyal, fun, and will usually even put themselves at risk to protect you.

Men, on the other hand, are notoriously unreliable!


message 30: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments David wrote: "Wow! They do say life is stranger than fiction :~/"

This is someone in life who should remain a stranger.

And Emma, you can't possibly need to use dating sites.


message 31: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Lol! David, a dog sounds good but I really want to be a Mum and at 37 need to do that fairly soon lol!! I could do it on my own (let's face it, there are ways) but I don't want to!!

Darren, you are too sweet but yeah unfortunately I do!! And yes he remained a total stranger. I just could not imagine how to even go about replying!!


message 32: by Will (new)

Will Once (willonce) | 4053 comments Hmm, a foot-worshipping submissive and someone with night emission issues. All human life is here.

I suppose it's a bit like spamming. The Duanes probably send out hundreds of emails to hundreds of potential partners. They might as well be honest about their little issues as their intended are going to find out sooner or later. And it's not a problem if 99% of those emails don't get a reply. Duane only needs to connect once to be successful.

Makes me feel more than a little guilty for being a bigamist. Sort of.


message 33: by Jim (new)

Jim | 21833 comments Makes me quietly glad I've been married for thirty years and am well out of the market :-)


message 34: by Lynne (Tigger's Mum) (last edited Aug 23, 2015 01:17AM) (new)

Lynne (Tigger's Mum) | 5862 comments Dont give up hope Emz, my daughter had her share of frogs then two years ago a friend arranged a date with a man she'd known by sight for years. She's 42 and her baby boy is now 9 months. She never thought she'd ever have children so she's doubly blessed. Just take care with dating sites, there are so many weird people about and we don't want you hurt.


message 35: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Thanks Lynne, yeah my friends are always prepped where I am meeting someone and on hand if I need 'saving' lol!!
i was just saying to David that I am not sure the Internet is the best place but when I go out with my girls nowadays, any guys we meet tend to be nearly half my age!!
Is very reassuring to hear about your friend and makes me think I have a bit more time than I thought, thank you xx


message 36: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Emma, if you want to be a mum I have two kids you can have.

(note to social services - that was a joke)


message 37: by David (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments I know a couple of people that have met partners through attending residential writing courses. Doesnt have to be writing, but most of the people on these seem to be single and looking for company.


message 38: by Bookworm (new)

Bookworm | 3 comments I know lots of people who have found partners on marriage sites. My daughters friend was on Tinder and she swiped a boy who went to my daughter uni and they were all at the same party there. In their conversation my daughter name came up.

The marriages have been very successful.


message 39: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments David wrote: "I know a couple of people that have met partners through attending residential writing courses. Doesnt have to be writing, but most of the people on these seem to be single and looking for company."

Having a shared interest is always a great start I think!! I need some 30 or 40 something single men to join this group and I'll be fine lol!!

A while ago I did write a small piece about some of my dating experiences which I know Patti read at the time. I just found it as all of ta talk made me think of it!! I have loads more to talk about now so I wonder if I should continue with it!! It is kind of a reflective piece of writing but quite amusing (I just read through it again for the first time in probably 2 years!!)


Lynne (Tigger's Mum) | 5862 comments I was going to suggest night classes etc but I know you've got enough studying to do.


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Pfft.

All she needs is an amulet!

https://willonce.wordpress.com/2015/0...


message 42: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3414 comments Doesn't the advert say that match.com holds cooking classes,etc, for single people to meet each other?

Good luck, Emz! I'm really sorry for laughing at your bad experiences! :)


message 43: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Katy wrote: "Doesn't the advert say that match.com holds cooking classes,etc, for single people to meet each other?

Good luck, Emz! I'm really sorry for laughing at your bad experiences! :)"


Ha ha!! Honestly laugh away. I do!! If it was anything serious or I was worried about it I would soon let you know xx


Desley (Cat fosterer) (booktigger) | 11041 comments Wow, it's amazing what people feel the need to share! We went out on Fri and there was hardly any people out, my friend wondered where you can find a decent bloke, she met hers online


message 45: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments It does seem to be the way to do it now


message 46: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3414 comments I met mine online, too!

Though I will admit I was young, naive and quite stupid about the whole thing!


message 47: by R.M.F. (last edited Aug 23, 2015 08:35AM) (new)

R.M.F. Brown | 4128 comments Years ago, I went on a date, and the woman in question brought a friend for company (which is understandable if you're a woman meeting a man you barely know) but disaster struck.

The friend in question could talk the hind legs off a donkey and proceeded to do just that.

I never got a word in edge ways and never had the chance to ask the other woman anything, or even get a chance to find out anything about her! She was pretty embarrassed about her friend's behaviour but seemed reluctant to do anything about it.

To be fair to her, I never really done anything either, being too polite, I just sat and listened to it.

I bailed out after an hour.

Disaster from start to finish. :)


message 48: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Oh dear!! Yeah not good!!
A good friend of mine has a first date today. With a guy she has met on the Internet. He has been away for the weekend and is stopping to meet her on the way home. Only problem is we think he was away with his 9month old baby so she may be introduced to her on the first date lol!!


message 49: by R.M.F. (new)

R.M.F. Brown | 4128 comments Personally, I'd never get involved with somebody who had kids from a previous relationship. Makes things less complicated.


message 50: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Unfortunately at my age it is very difficult to find a man who hasn't. I agree that the baggage is not ideal though


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