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Critique Partners and Swaps > 40k Drama, Crime, Adventure and YA (or first Chapter)

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message 1: by Gala (new)

Gala | 48 comments Hi,

I've completed a dramatic novel that includes little violence. It surrounds family and friends in the fictional country of Palvence Isle. They live in a community where the young grow up quicky. I have concerns about Charcter Development and plot holes. It's been edited, so I'm settled with grammar and punctuation.

If anyone only might have time to read the first chapter, that would be great too. It's short, but breaks into the story in about 8 pages. I would love to get some feedback on it.

Short Synopsis:

Carrie Dane usually let's things be what they may. Recent events push her to change the way she thinks. People she knows have gone missing. The option left, with the police hardly helping, is to join the others. The criminals, since they're only ones willing to help. Things completely bad aren't always--and things completely good don't exist. Everton Crane, the founder of his own criminal enterprise, manages to make the experince more than enticing in his own charismatic way.

Only in her second year at her local university, Carrie has a full life with a job to add on it. Concealing her new position in a criminal company becomes more than difficult. Though this all to find her missing family, one thing someone always told her nags in the back her mind: the ends don't justify the means.

If anyone is interested please comment or PM me.
Thank you!

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)


I'm interested in reading your book! If your still looking for someone to read your book I'd love to hear from you - please emial me at


message 3: by Gala (new)

Gala | 48 comments Thank you to you both! Ellie, I'll be sure to send you my work and stay in charge.

Thanks again

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

That's brilliant thank you! I look forward to hearing from you!

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