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message 1: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
So today I took my dog to the vet for a foot problem. Our vet is a youngish guy whose wife runs the front office and assists in surgery. They are a super sweet couple and he is a great vet. Very progressive and up on the latest in alternative medicine, etc. Anyway, I've always thought that he was kinda cute, in that broad shouldered, doofy, ernest, Clark Kent kind of way. But seeing as he's married and I know his wife it's never been more of a passing thought. Something you notice like the color of someone's shoes.

But today... oh dear... I must seriously need to get laid more often because today, as he was inspecting my dog's feet, I was overcome by an insanely powerful urge to bite the back of his neck and push him down on the linoleum in wild abandon. Wow... so seriously inappropriate. I have no idea if he had the slightest idea, but he was rather friendly to me after that.

I swear... sometimes I think I know what it must be like to walk around as a guy. Randomly wanting to hump anything remotely attractive. It's an odd, odd feeling.


message 2: by Sarah (last edited Feb 20, 2008 06:54PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Subconsciously I bet he knew something. I think when we're even slightly aroused, our pheremone secretion increases and guys can pick up on it even if they don't know what it is they're picking up on.

I once had to change dentists (in college) because I developed a crush on mine and I didn't want him in my mouth... at least, not in the way a dentist is usually in your mouth.




message 3: by Lulu (new)

Lulu | 31 comments I wanted to add a really pithy comment. But - you just made me laugh.




message 4: by Lulu (new)

Lulu | 31 comments It must be the total lunar eclipse that is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW and I can't see it because it's too cloudy in my patch of the world!1



message 5: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I think you're right Sarah... even when I'm askew and curvy for some reason guys pick up on my vibe and they hardly know what to do with themselves sometimes. Or so I've been told. Poor vet guy... being psychically molested while hovering over dog paws.

Lunar Eclipse and it's too cloudy here too!!! Dammit!


message 6: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) It's so true, Charissa. I'm a lot "curvier" (i.e., fatter) than I was when I was single, but I'm also a lot more sexually confident. I attract more male attention now, even with an ass the size of Utah, than I did in my size-six days. I think it's because men pick up on the sexually confident part. Or maybe it's the wedding ring, in which case the guys are losers. (Though I've been told by male friends that it's the former.)


message 7: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I saw it. Maybe that's why my dog's acting weird today. She's being really clingy.


message 8: by Karen (last edited Feb 20, 2008 08:28PM) (new)

Karen Sarah's right, it's the confidence. Plus most men I know say they like a few curves, they don't find the stick figure that Hollywood promotes to be sexy at all. Charissa, you KNOW he picked up the vibe! And hopefully his wife isn't on Goodreads. :-)

The eclipse was beautiful from here.


message 9: by Varmint (last edited Feb 20, 2008 09:09PM) (new)

Varmint the girl friend won't be back for a few weeks. and the coffee shop barrista chick who gives me shoulder rubs is on vacation. maybe it's the eclipse that's got me feeling so pathetic.



women think they get aroused. they really have no clue.




message 10: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Varmint, dude, I don't know what kind of wimmen you hang out with but... I have out hornied every guy I've been with since 1998. So... just mind your peas and ques there, buckaroo.

King... heeeee... yer funny.

Karen... uhm... yeah. He's just lucky I have some modicum of impulse control. Not much. Just... enough. heh heh.

Sarah... yeah, I guess I know what you are saying. But part of my brain just doesn't get it. I think different lobes stopped speaking to each other in a tiff. Perhaps cookies are in order. Or darts. Maybe one side should take the other out for a beer. Flowers? :::shrug:::


message 11: by Sarah (last edited Feb 20, 2008 10:09PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Well, Karen, m'dear, I have more than "a few curves" and some of my curves are in all the wrong places! Heh. My boobs are bigger, though, which is a plus. If I ever lose the weight and my boobs go away I'm so getting implants.

King and Varmint, oh boy do we ever. My husband's ten years older than I am. The problem with that arrangement is that guys reach their sexual peak in their teens, and women in their thirties, right? So I'm definitely the more sexual one in the relationship. Add to that the fact that I didn't experiment sexually when I was single, and got married at the tender young age of 22, and he's got a lot to keep up with. :)

So I really can't believe that I'm talking about my boobs and my sex life for all the internet world to see. I have a feeling in the light of morning I'll be deleting this post...


message 12: by RandomAnthony (last edited Feb 21, 2008 02:39AM) (new)

RandomAnthony Sarah, you do not look fat at all.

"I have out hornied every guy I've been with since 1998." Pictures that hanging on a little sign, like a motto, over charissa's entryway...

I think I understand what Sarah's saying. I get older, slower, and more married every day...and I swear I've been hit on in the last five years than in my late teens and twenties. I have no idea why or even that I was getting hit on until the helpful women at work pointed it out to me and I started to notice myself. Maybe I got hit on when younger and was too dense to notice. Maybe the hitters were just being flirty and my friends at work are just spazzes. I don't want to sound arrogant, and it's not like I'm getting hit on every day, but again, the people at work tell me that older guys have a calm or whatever that can be attractive. It's weird. Ladies, please explain. I thought you were all into twenty year old models or whatever, like on Lipstick Jungle.

My dental assistant is a neighborhood legend. She's barely out of college, long blonde hair, rather, uh, well-...the hell with it, she's stacked. She and the dentist are dating. The dentist is very cool, so I feel esp. weird when his girlfriend is leaning over me...must stare at the ceiling...must stare at the ceiling...


message 13: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Hey Random... watch what you say about my 'entryway'. Ahem.

But seriously... twenty year old models are boring. I like me some scruff and some living on a guy. Broad shoulders are the sexiest thing, and not in that pumped up body builder kind of way. Russell Crowe slays me, Sean Connery, and I have to admit that the naked torture scene of Daniel Craig as 007 made me unable to speak English for about 3 days afterward. But honestly, it's your average guy on the street that I find really hot. Anthony, if I worked with you I would totally be tempted hit on you... no doubt get in all sorts of trouble from your long suffering wife. It's that casual unstudied manimal thing about you. Very hot.

Sarah... boobs do make up for a lot. If the ass fairy had to grant me one the size of Texas, I'm glad I at least got some cleavage to go along with it.


message 14: by Sarah (last edited Feb 21, 2008 08:25AM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Anthony, thanks, but as I told someone in the Haters group, you can only see me from the shoulders up in that picture. And because of the angle, I only have 1 chin. One of these days I'll post a different one and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Ooohh... the naked torture scene in Casino Royale was sooooo hot. That man was ripped!

I like pretty guys with dark hair and blue or green eyes and I like 'em tall, broad of shoulder, and narrow of hip. Harry Connick, Jr. and Tom Welling are at the top of my list. Then there's Peja Stojakovic (NBA player) who's got the nicest body I've seen on a man. Gotta love those basketball player arms. But only when he shaves. Scruffy is good on some guys but on Peja he goes from clean shaven to mountain main in about an hour.


message 15: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I totally just got hit on by someone with a new twist on an old line... he asked my what my Chinese Astrology sign was! And he wasn't Asian, he just said my year (which he had wrong anyway) and his were compatible. Ugh! This is not a dating site, folks!! I freaking hate that.


message 16: by Varmint (new)

Varmint charissa,

my old office looked out over a small dress shop in santa monica. they had mannequins in the window. tall, lithe mannequins with pronounced-puffy-gouge your eye out-nipples.

all day long i'd watch guys do double takes as they walked by. there was at least one car accident i suspect was nipple related.

all this over mannequins.

now tell me again that women are hornier.



i will admit to having unrealistic standards of female beauty. but the trend lately has been simply too thin. the girls look unhealthy, they sound unhappy. and i'm afraid that i'll break them.








message 17: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Varmint, men are more easily distracted. women are hornier. LOL

what are your standards of beauty? Just curious.


message 18: by Peter (new)

Peter Gubin | 3 comments Men are very easily distracted by horny women, sorry to intrude on you and Varmint in an intimate moment. But I got weary of watching.


message 19: by Varmint (new)

Varmint strange question. it's never occurred to me to narrow it down before. ginger, mary ann, and the native girl from that one episode, all fine to me.

mostly just want someone with a sense of adventure.



and no tattoos. getting harder and harder to find a girl with no tattoos in southern california.


message 20: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
well you said that you had unreasonable standards of beauty for women... I just wondered what they were. And how strict they are. I'm fascinated by this topic.

No tats?? Awww... I like some tats. Not a ton of them... but just one here or there. Tats on men or women I think are very sexy... as long as they aren't lame ones.


message 21: by RandomAnthony (last edited Feb 22, 2008 04:14AM) (new)

RandomAnthony I want to get a tat! I want to get my kids' initials on my leg somewhere. I just haven't found the time.

I think I'm with Charissa on this one. I like some tats, not, like, illustrated person tats, but some tats. Tats on women are cool. I like the ankle ones. Other tat comments? What do people think?


shellyindallas i think that it's so easy to get a ridiculous tattoo. your kids initials seem pretty safe, but it just seems like there are so many people out there with regrettable tattoos.

plus, like Varmint in South California, here in Austin tatted up people are EVERYWHERE--so it's not even unique.

i'm not against tattoos but it appears that people with lame tattoos outnumber people with cool tattoos and those people are kinda ruining it for me.


message 23: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I have a lotus blossom design on my lower back. It's kind of art nouveau-ish. it has meaning for me and I think it's kinda gorgeous. I'm happy that tats have become more mainstream and it's not looked on as much that you're low class to have them. I've always loved them.

But yeah, it's like hair cuts. There's nothing good you can say about a bad one.


message 24: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) It just cracks me up to think that in forty years there will be all of these old ladies walking around with tramp stamps. Ha!

The thing about hair cuts is that they grow out. Piercings you can take out. Tatoos are for ever.


message 25: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony That's one of the reasons why I want it on my leg/calf...easier to cover when necessary. One of my students had her basketball number put on the back of her neck...guess she'll be wearing her hair down a lot...


message 26: by Seizure Romero (new)

Seizure Romero | 116 comments Recommendation: when getting a tattoo, don't do this:

(and a warning: it's not a Gene Simmons sex tape, but it is scary facial ink. You can't un-see it and it will be in your head forever)

http://www.neatorama.com/2006/11/15/s...


shellyindallas yikes!


message 28: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Sarah!! You went there!! Ahhhh..... ha ha ha. My best friend calls it a 'tramp stamp' too. Ha! Ah well... if the shoe fits...

Seizure... I've seen that before... it's not as bad as this:

http://www.litwc.com/2006/10/20/i-lov...

warning... graphic nudity and things that really shouldn't exist beyond that link. Oy.

The one that isn't there but should be is the Homer Simpson tattoo on a woman's hoo-hoo. But that one isn't actually real, it was a digital spoof.


shellyindallas Charissa, I've seen that Homer tattoo. What a relief to know it wasn't real! It was so yellow. It looked like it been done in French's mustard! Blech!


message 30: by Lulu (new)

Lulu | 31 comments I was a mammography technologist for 16 years, so I'm fully qualified to talk about breasts and tats...I've seen a breast surrounded by a spider web with a string that led to a spider on the woman's neck, I've seen 65 year old women with tattos on their breasts that have elongated from a cute little rosebud to a faded droopy rose petal....seen it all.

Tattoos are ok, piercings are ok - just don't expect to take the eyebrow piercing out without it leaving a huge scar.




message 31: by Lulu (new)

Lulu | 31 comments Uh, and Randomanthony - if you're a dad, and you're an involved dad, and you get up on Saturday morning to watch cartoons and do the Cheerios thing with the kids, and your wife thinks she has 10 lbs of baby fat left over from your four-year-old but you think she is a goddess...that's sexy.


message 32: by Varmint (new)

Varmint okay, my current dream girl would be some odd mix of ann coulter, nigella lawson, and the redhead from mythbusters.



have a thousand objections to tattoos. first, the fact that most of the guys doing them can't draw worth a damn.


message 33: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Kari on Mythbusters is HAWT! Ann Coulter is a cunt however, excuse me for saying so. I had no idea who Nigella Lawson was so I Googled her... she is gorgeous as well. And what a rack!

My tat was done by a woman and is very nicely done, so :::shrug::: I happen to be very happy with it. Then again, I thought about it for 10 years before getting it done, so it wasn't really an impulsive move. I designed it myself. And it has meaning for me. I wouldn't recommend getting them just for the sake of having one.

Then again, I'm covered in freckles so it was sort of like playing connect the dots! Ha ha ha ha....


message 34: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony You guys are good for one's ego.

Lulu's post made me think about the multifaceted nature of what people want as they get older. It's not bad, it's just more complicated. For example, the kids on the couch cheerios thing that Lulu mentioned...I get that. I also get the Daniel Craig thing a couple of the ladies were drooling over. There's some of that with guys, too, of course. My wife is a great mom, and while I don't know if that gets me going in particular, in a hard to describe way the years we've been together do get me going. She's still gorgeous. On the other hand, Monica Bellucci...all I can say is...whew. I don't think I could talk with her in the room. I'm sure my wife has guys about whom she feels that way too. Does that make sense?

On a, uh, third hand, I teach a lot beautiful college girls. It's weird, but I'm really not attracted to them. I can say, "Wow, she's really pretty" but it's not like I turn around to watch them walk by. The drama and affect of girls that young...let's just say I'm glad to be older and not dealing with it anymore. I'll leave that to my sons.

Freckles are cool.




message 35: by Lulu (last edited Feb 23, 2008 04:07PM) (new)

Lulu | 31 comments So the dichotomy is that the sexiest guys - the married dads - are the most offlimits. You get to admire from afar. It's not that my husband didn't or doesn't fall into that category, although we've moved into the grandson phase.

But we both still have the list - you know, the list of crushes that if any one of them pulled up in the driveway and beckoned us into the hot sports car with the promise of 3 days of serious debauchery and fun - we give each other permission to hop in the car and take off. Because you know, we know, that we'd be there to pick each other up off the driveway when we've been dumped off after the hot weekend. Patrick Dempsey, Will Smith and omigod - Kyle Chandler - fall into this category. (Note - they're all dads...:))

Charissa - you mean "Nasty words" "Mean words" "Hate Democrats" Ann Coulter??? I.Cannot.Stand.Her.

Sorry Varmint. But Nigella - I think she's ALSO on my list. :)

Also, Randomanthony, my husband's a college professor, and either you guys all think alike or you have your stories straight but he has always said the same thing about college girls. It doesn't stink to be surrounded by beauty, but the drama of their lives is too much to deal with, especially after we've already raised girls.


message 36: by RandomAnthony (last edited Feb 23, 2008 10:52AM) (new)

RandomAnthony Lulu, we have secret meetings at the conventions where we all take oaths to keep our stories straight. Then we go to strip clubs. The next day we all trade pictures of our cute students:)

I hate Ann Coulter too. But you can hate someone and still think she's hot.

By the way, if I could add two more to my list besides Ms. Bellucci...hm...Kate Winset in "Little Children"...yeeha. And Kate Hudson is damn easy on the eyes as well.


message 37: by Varmint (last edited Feb 23, 2008 10:57PM) (new)

Varmint i'm sure i love ann coulter for the exact reasons you all hate her. nigella lawson is mostly just about the voice.

i drew flash for a tattoo parlor a few years back. they offered to teach me the trade. it's not the needles, or the blood, or the creepy wannabe gang atmosphere. it's the touching people i couldn't stand.


message 38: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Varmint... I guess masseuse career is out for you then, huh? I love touching people actually. As long as they don't have BO or scabies, I'm all about the hands on.

Anthony... Kate Winslet omg... I would totally do her.

Actually, for me, hating someone kills whatever physical attraction I have for them. I'm kinda funny that way.

Lulu... let's go beat up Ann Coulter. Now that would be a evening well spent.


message 39: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony You know, the "hate but hot/not hot" issue is interesting. You have the whole Shakespeare Beatrice/Benedict thing but I guess you could argue they were just hiding their like for each other, so that's a different issue, I guess. Would I want to date Ann Coulter? Hell no. I can't imagine what we'd talk about. Do I think she looks good in a skirt? Yep. Interesting issue, like I said.


message 40: by Lulu (new)

Lulu | 31 comments Hate and love are both powerful emotions, and how often have we heard of one emotion hiding the other? But I agree with Charissa - for me, hating someone is an obstacle to even having a crush.

Of course, the fact that they're all 'crushes' and except for extraordinary circumstances, unattainable, is what makes for great debate. :)


message 41: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I'm talking actual hate... not playing around hate... where you're pretty sure you could smother that person with a pillow given the opportunity and not blink afterward. The kind with no ounce of respect involved. The kind where your contempt for that person goes all the way to the bone.

I don't actually hate Ann Coulter... I just think she's a cunt, and not in a good way. I could have some respect for her if she wasn't so obviously self aggrandizing and in to make a buck as a professional expert reactionary. I also don't think she's beautiful, so... you guys can have her. And I don't even want to watch, thanks.

But there are a few people who have crossed that line into hatred in my book... and I'd rather shove sharp objects into my retinas rather than allow them within ten feet of my personal bubble. Even though some of them are technically "handsome"... they only appear ugly on my radar.

Mel Gibson probably comes closest for me on the Coulter scale. I've always thought he was hawt... but over the years his politics and personality have eroded my attraction to him. Meeting him in person in the 90s probably cemented my dislike of him. He's just a complete ass! Sure, intellectually I still think he's handsome... but no, I would not want to bed the man. Anymore.


message 42: by Varmint (new)

Varmint at least on a surface level, hate and passion are very similar. but i just love ann coulter in a soul mate sort of way.


the only things i couldn't work around are contempt or pity. which is why britney spears has been ruined for me.


message 43: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony I think I get what you're saying, Charissa. Sometimes when a person opens their mouth they lose their attractiveness...and I seriously don't think I've ever listened to Ann Coulter speak for more than thirty seconds at a time. Also, I was never that into Tara Reid, but she's such a (bleep)ing airhead that I get into that Varmint-described pity/contempt territory. Put your boobs back in your dress, Tara. You're sad.

On the other hand, authentic grace and dignity can raise one's attractiveness. I'm not talking about wearing a dress that costs more than my car...make that four of my cars, since my car is old and cheap. I'm talking about grace and dignity that transcends expensive clothes. Maybe self-possession and confidence in your own skin is a better description, although too much confidence always leaves me skeptical. I don't trust people who are completely secure all the time.

This is complicated:)


message 44: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
It is indeed. Good thing there is always just shutting up and going for it. : )


message 45: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I LOVE Nigella Lawson! Love her, love her, love her. I've been compared to her before but I'm not sure if it's for the way I look or the way I cook. Either one would be a big compliment. I love how she's curvy and still gorgeous.


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