Seems like the first two paras should be tied together somehow. And it's better, for sure, but I'm still not sure what she wants revenge for/against?
The men who kidnapped her? Her village for lying to her? That sentence after the :revenge could be changed to something more hard-hitting and precise to your story. What makes this one so unique? Shock me or intrigue me!
The men who kidnapped her? Her village for lying to her? That sentence after the :revenge could be changed to something more hard-hitting and precise to your story. What makes this one so unique? Shock me or intrigue me!