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Ravanna's Writing > Deep Poetry.

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message 1: by Ravanna Dee (last edited Dec 04, 2015 08:07AM) (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) Pain. It strikes without notice. Without mercy. It's there and the world is oblivious to it. You could be walking, nowhere important, when it decides to attack. You keep walking, you show no signs to the world, of your inner turmoil. You put a smile on, even as your heart slowly caves in on itself. You look around the packed street. Hoping. Praying. That someone. Anyone. Will see beyond the mask you wear. See into your eyes, and just know. See the pain, and suffering that plagues you. Chokes you.
Other then your quick inhale of breath, there is no outer signs of your pain. But you still hold that small slice of hope that someone will come up to you and just say, "I see it. I know. You're not alone." You look around with your naked, pain filled eyes, searching for someone that might feel the pain too. Sometimes you think you see it. But you don't know if that's because it's actually there....or because you just want it to be there.
So you keep walking. You keep your head up. Your eyes straight in front of you. Your shoulders straight. You tug your lips into a smile. And you just live day to day. Because you know, just like you know that the ocean's waves will keep crashing onto the sand, and the stars will shine every night, that it doesn't matter if no one see's the pain, it's there. It might always be there. The question is, can you live with it?

By: Ravanna, M.


message 2: by Ruby, Just plain Epictastic. (new)

Ruby (rubyyy) | 2486 comments Mod
O.O This is really good!!! The feeling, it's really expressing itself, and I just love the....All of it!! It's amazing! :):):):):)


message 3: by Ravanna Dee (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) Thank you!


message 4: by Ravanna Dee (last edited Sep 10, 2015 07:45PM) (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) There knowing eyes.

There's just something there. Something that happens inside you, as a baby lays, sleeping in you're arms. Maybe it's the knowledge that the child felt safe and comfortable? Or maybe it's the protectiveness that overtakes your entire being? The willingness to do anything, and everything for the beautiful infant that lays, cuddled up against you? Whatever it is, you hold that baby as it breaths quietly, and you know that one day the baby will be a baby no longer. You inhale and you feel an incredible loss. Then the sleeping baby's eyes open. They look at you with such trust, such adoration. Like they know you will always protect them, hold them when they hurt, teach them about life, listen when they need you too. They look at you with their big, all knowing eyes, and you stop worrying about the future. Because....Yes they will leave one day. And yes. They may not need you as much anymore. But right now they do. Right now, they need..you! So live for today, as you hold that beautiful baby. Not for the future... Maybe that's what the feeling inside you is trying to say. Love what you have now!

By: Ravanna M.


message 5: by Sorarin (new)

Sorarin | 569 comments Soo... I must say your writing here is very lovely. But there are quite a few glaring grammatical errors. It would be even more amazing with those fixed.....hinthint


message 6: by Ravanna Dee (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) Okay I know what you mean. I wrote it while I was really tired, then I was to lazy to go back and fix it. And I noticed there's some parts that need to be blended more too.


message 7: by Sorarin (new)

Sorarin | 569 comments Either way they're still great. I'm just a certified grammar nazi.


message 8: by Ravanna Dee (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) Lol! So is my sister...and my mom. My mom always says it's good to be critiqued. Get other peoples opinion, on things. Have them read it and most of the time they will catch something you didn't. So I like that you pointed stuff out, and didn't just say "Oh, that's really good!" Because if your not told it need's work, how will you ever get better?


message 9: by Sorarin (new)

Sorarin | 569 comments That's why I never comment on other's writings. I'm worried I'll sound mean because every other person is only praising and ignoring the errors or how it could be improved. Oh well


message 10: by Ravanna Dee (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) Nope. I have thick skin. I can take a few harsh words or two. As long as it helps me improve my writing I don't care.


message 11: by Ravanna Dee (last edited Dec 04, 2015 08:20AM) (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) The world's silent plea:

The world is nothing without words,
without mans cogitation thoughts.
The world is silent with no voice,
if man doesn't help share its deepest plots.

Its fierce winds blow hollow,
begging for man whispered dreams.
Revealing to us its greatest sorrows,
through its ripping seams.

Solitude is the world, without mans loud vox.
Endlessly spinning day after day.
Trapped in its own Pandora's Box.

The only key to this desolate chest,
is the words we say.
So man should speak with great care,
for without our words the world will forever pay.

Ravanna M.


message 12: by Ravanna Dee (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) I know, this poem seems a little confusing, but I thought I would still put it down.


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