Esra walked outside tiredly. Usually he wouldn't be up earlier then the sun, but today he just couldn't sleep. Plagued by nightmares- he wouldn't admit it but he was afraid to fall asleep, to close his eyes. All he ever saw was that man's face. Of course if the attending lady would just give him a few more pills he would be just fine, all drugged up and knocked out. His fist clenched slightly as he avoided the urge to punch the wall beside him. Esra slowly let his hand fall back to his side. It wouldn't be worth it. The split knuckles would be questioned and then he'd have to go talk to that sickly sweet therapist with the fake smile. The fact she handed out lollipops was also a large concern of his. He fell into one of the multiple benches before looking up towards the horizon as the early morning sky started to brighten up. Surprisingly he hadn't been followed outside by an attending, but it also worried him. Were these people not doing their job's? He could very well be out here to kill himself. Sure he never would, but it was always a factor that shouldn't be taken off the table in a place like this. Still Esra had to force himself not to look over his shoulder and see if anyone was there. His eyes scanned the flowers in front of him before zoning in on the white ones. So unstained. So pure. Leaning forwards he delicately picked one before fighting the urge to crumple it in his palm.
Vee was already out at the garden. Somehow none of the works here seemed to notice she hadnt went inside. Shes spent hours out in the garden in the dark. She perfered the dark, always has. She sat on the grass rather then a bench. She perfered to be in front of her favorite flowers. The was seated before the rose bush, the red ones. She always loved the red ones. It reminded her of both blood and beauty, and to her she related herself to blood. Only reason was because she would sit before them and press her thumb into a thorn until the blood would drip down her hand and wrist, just like she was doing now. It was her substation to cutting.But just as she did that she was lost in her thought swimming in her own pool of darkness. Her memories of her past flashing through her mind. Almost like she was watching a movie again and again. She was so deep with her thoughts that she didnt even notice someone was in the garden. All she could do was think and think. Letting her past take over her like it always did, she even heard whispers coming from somehwere, soon enough the laughters would come too. Vee didnt even acknowledged that her own hand was moving without her intending to. She moved on to wrao her fingers around a stem and the thorns this time, squeezing hard untill the blood was dripping. The leaves brushed against each other, making a soft noise. Even her own body was seeking for the pain.
Somehow the small hum of the night air manages to relax him as he allows the small flower to fall to the ground. Almost instantly it's covered in mud and other earthly things. Not so pure. Not so innocent, anymore. Esra raked his fingers through his hair sitting there for what felt like seconds, but was probably minutes. Pushing himself back to his feet his knees let out small popping noises that confirmed he'd been sitting far longer then his brain was able to comprehend. Turning on his heels he stopped suddenly when he saw a girl just a little ways off sitting in the grass. She was stock still which concerned him for a moment. Somehow he managed to tell himself to go back inside, to ignore whatever was happening. But he learned ignoring things and pretending they weren't there didn't work out so well for him. Not meaning to scare her he spoke slowly before approaching. "Hey." The one syllable word was drawn out before he stopped just a few steps behind her. For a moment his eyes weren't able to see what she was doing as his vision hadn't completely adjusted towards the dark. "Oh, shit." He said when he saw the waves of blood making its way down her arms. Quickly he jumped forwards, kneeling in front of her before reaching for the hand that was pressing the thorns into her delicate pale skin. With surprising ease he removed the stem from her hands before giving her a scolding look. "What in the world do you think you're doing?" He asked, feeling a bit scared. Esra had dealt with similar situations with a younger member in his band, but he was still unsure of what to do.
A voice spoke to her, just a simple one word, but she ignored it. Only because she thought it was part ofthe whispers she was hearing. She still pressed tighter om the stem, letting the pain numb her. But it was until Esra jumped forward and quickly yet gently tore her hand of the stem. She snapped out ofnher thoughts and finally started to relize what was going on aroumd her. Her eyes grew wide as if she seen a monster before her and quickly pulled her hand away from his. She ignored his question and pushed herself away from him even though her hand stung everytime she used it.In her head so many things crossed her head just seeing a guy before her. So many things from the past realy. She couldnt even control the trembling that was happening. Just as she figured she started to hear laughter. But this was beacuse of Esra. He probably would laugh at her too. She proabaly looked like a helpess puppy right now. Her eyes started to tear uo but she didnt want to cry in front of him.
Esra had mentally prepared himself for whatever reaction would be handed to him in the few seconds of silence that transpired between them. Sadness, anger, anything. But he hadn't prepared himself for the look of fear in her eyes. Was she scared of him? He winced slightly at the thought, he didn't want her to be afraid of him. Maybe it was his physical appearance and the fact he was almost twice her size. Backing up slightly he rocked on his heels as he remained in a crouched position. "Hey, it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.He held his hands up in the air as if to make a solid point that he wouldn't so much as touch her if she didn't want that. Briefly his eyes skittered over towards the door. Wasn't there a ward inside, or some cameras out here? Why wasn't anyone out here to help her. "Come with me inside and we can bandage that up for you, hmm?" He asked, slowly getting to his feet, but not at an alarmingly fast rate. She was like a frightened little bunny he didn't want to scare off into a road of traffic.
This wasnt okay. How could this possibility be okay? Even though he gave her more space, which may have comforted anyone else in her situation but only worried vee because it meant he would still be staying.Why cant he just leave. Just make fun of me and leave me alone. Vee wanted to get up and run away from him. Sadly the bush she loves was in her way and she could feel the thorns slightly peirce through her cotton sweater. She couldn't move forward because of him. "Leave me alone" she whsipered. She watched him with fear still in her eyes as he got up. Did he plan on doing something to her because having his hands raised didnt help.What's wrong? , Vee heard jake whisper with a bitter laugh He's a freak like you. Vees hamds immediately went to her ears. The blond on her fingers mixing in her white hair one side, almost like the white flower losing its purity once its dirty. "Stop! Stop laughing"she cried and shook her head at the voice.
Esra bit his lower lip in frustration. Momentarily he glanced over his shoulder. A part of him screamed to go inside to get some help, but larger part of him was concerned that if he left one of two things would happen. The girl would run or shed finished what she'd started with the thorns from the rose bush. God, why did they even have thorn bushes here in an asylum? It was basically asking for the patients to go ahead and just kill themselves. Sure it couldn't do that much damage, but when you intended to harm yourself it was a good idea. Seeing her frightened gaze he took a couple of steps backwards, letting his hands fall back down towards his side. Esra realized she was probably frightened and feeling more cornered with him standing over her. With his friend he'd usually have comforting things to say, but for a stranger and someone he barely knew no words came to mind. He could be cliche and tell her that hurting herself wasn't good- her life was worth far more, but he didn't know what the reaction would be to that one either. "I'm.. I'm not laughing." He spoke once more before walking back towards the bench. Maybe she just needed space to clear her head. Worried she was hallucinating something bigger he didn't want to be in the way.
Vee watched him walk away. She couldn't bring herself to believe he was backing away. Why was he backing away? It wasnt that she happy, because she was, but beacuse he was doing something she asked. No one has done that for her. Everytime she was with a doctor she would be forced to talk even though she didn't want to. Or here in the asylum, shes only been here for three days and they keep taking her back and forth from the cell to the thtrembling hert her own will. Or the other time her parents force her out of her room and make her eat. But, this guy who was walking back to the bench, was actually doing as she asked.Vee's head came to a rest on her knees. Her hands slowly move to wrap around her knees and pull them closer to chest. She still heard jake bully her in hear head, even though she thought he was somewhere in the garden. Freak... ugly... whore... fat... , she heard him spit words at her. Vee tried to keep keep her cries quite but it wasnt that easy. Her hands gripped tighter around her knees and hoped that would help stop her from trembling. Her heart beat was still at a high pace. Vee picked her up to see where Ersa was and if he was still here. Seeing him still their on the bench. I have to get out of here . Vee pushed herself up, struggling because of her injured hand. She stummbled and started to make her way towards the exit. Her head felt like it was swimming and it was hard to see from the tears. Just as she thought she sould leave, Jake appeared before her and held her by the arms. "Let me go!" Vee cried and tried to get free, even though no one was their.
Esra was aware she wasn't hearing him. The words he spoke were simply going in one ear, out the other. Her hallucinations clearly went deeper then one would think. All she saw when she looked at him was someone who must've tortured her at an early time in her life. That part was something he could easily relate to with his stepfather, but he'd never been so lost in it. Drugs were usually his normal for numbing the feelings- but clearly the staff wouldn't be so silly as to give their patients those. Of course one would also think they wouldn't allow some of these people to walk away without a warden of some sort. She walked past and his shoulders slowly began to untense. She was going inside, surely someone would see her and the blood running down her wrists. Still he waited to hear the door closed, but instead be continued to hear her talking to herself. Esra quickly got to his feet before he approached her. While he didn't want to startle her he knew it was his only choice in having a chance of bringing her back to reality. "No ones there." He said, lightly touching one of her arms. "Can you tell me your name?" Esra asked the question softly. His hopes in doing so was letting her tether herself to a question and allow her brain to focus on something other then the hallucinations.
Vee always fear being touched. It was weird though since Vee was never be physically abused in her life by anyone. It was just something she grew scared of. It started with the bullying but what really hit hard was on the Halloween dance. Her favorite holiday, becoming a true nightmare. It was jake who ruined her life. His little prank that went beyond that. To the point she tried commenting suicide. Jake disappeared from before her when she heard Esra and felt his touch. She snapped out of her hallucination. She stepped away from his hand and let his arm fall back to his side where to her it should be. Just as he suspected Vee's mind focused on the quistion before her rather then think about her past and Jake. But just that simple question Vee felt so anxious. So many things ran through her mind in what to do. He wants to know my name. But why? What does he plane on doing? Maybe he'll make up some nickname like vreak or uglee. I shouldn't ... but he's different? No he's not. All boys are cruel. Everyone is cruel. Maybe I should... nothing would happen. It actually took vee about a minute before speaking in a very low voice. "Vee" she said and kept her gray eyes on the ground.
As Esra waited in silence he wondered if he was going to get an answer. There was certainly the likely possibility of he running now that she was back in the real world- but for how long. She continued to look at the ground and he wondered if she'd left again to another place. It was until she finally spoke that he nodded his head. With her voice barely more then a whisper he obviously heard her wrong. "Nice to meet you Bree." He said with the slightest of smiles as his gaze fell back to her bleeding wrist. In truth all he wanted to do was rush her inside and get her to someone who could take care of her, but for the moment he was at a standstill. He couldn't remind her of all the reasons it would be okay, due to the fact he had no idea who she was. "My names Esra." The years of learning proper manners almost had him lifting up his hand to shake hers, but knowing already she didn't like to be touched he kept his arms locked down at his sides. What were you seeing? What were you hearing? a bunch of questions he wanted to asked filtered through his brain, but he rejected them all as they stood there in what could be considered complete silence.
Vee glanced up when he said Bree, but just for a moment. Her gaze returned to safety or in other words to the grass. They burned with the urge to cry. Of course because of the way her mind functions she thought he was making fun of her. Why else would he call her Bree? Besides the perfectly good reason such as she was too low to be heard. However that didn't even cross her mind. So she stuck to her main reason that he was picking on her. Even with the kind smile on his face she accused him of doing such thing. He was probably happy with his nick name for her - which of course he's not- and thought he was doing a great job that he couldn't help but smile. Vee couldn't handle the effort she was putting in trying not to cry. She just ended up letting the tears fall as she stepped backwards and away from him. I knew he was mean. I just knew it. Now hell probably always pick on me. This Esra guy only liked their meeting because he found himself a new freak to pick on. "W-what do you want from me?" She asked him in her she low voice, this time filled with fear.
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