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Deaths Mind Palace > Main Poems

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message 1: by Deaths coming (new)

Deaths coming torture mastrer-if you want someone torture he wil | 24 comments Here we are, here is one of my earlier poems and I should hopefully start making more again soon


The calm ocean still
Empty of waves with nothing
Stirring the great sea

However beneath
The waves a different story
Is shown to happen

Creatures of brilliant
Colours of such beauty and
Diverse quality

Swimming together
In an endless flurry of
Emerald and ruby

Scales of such shine that
They are like small gemstones set
In a endless dance

Small or large does not
Matter all of the creatures
Are magnificent


message 2: by Deaths coming (new)

Deaths coming torture mastrer-if you want someone torture he wil | 24 comments By the way feel free to comment here


message 3: by Deaths coming (new)

Deaths coming torture mastrer-if you want someone torture he wil | 24 comments Black raven flying
Towards the red sunset through
The Autumn forest

Its old weary wings
Slowing down as his eyes dim
On the light sunrays

As she settled on
A old branch and Remembered
Her long fruitful life

Her memory of
Hatching as foggy as a
Gloomy winters mist

She can remember
Her first flight and leaving her
Mother and Siblings

She can still recall
Raising her first children and
The countless after

At last the sun went
Over the Horizon and
She eyes closed at last


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Deaths coming wrote: "Here we are, here is one of my earlier poems and I should hopefully start making more again soon


The calm ocean still
Empty of waves with nothing
Stirring the great sea

However beneath
The waves..."


Its a good poem, harmonic and goes well with the previous words, but there were a few grammar mistakes.


message 5: by Deaths coming (new)

Deaths coming torture mastrer-if you want someone torture he wil | 24 comments Okay, feel free to tell me


message 6: by Amy (new)

Amy Of Tarth | 129 comments The structures good, but to be really honest I didnt like it sorry. It's probably because I don't feel like your putting yourself into them? I always prefer to use feelings and experiences in poetry but that's probably just me. Maybe you could try a poem where you make it more personal?


message 7: by Deaths coming (new)

Deaths coming torture mastrer-if you want someone torture he wil | 24 comments Alice wrote: "The structures good, but to be really honest I didnt like it sorry. It's probably because I don't feel like your putting yourself into them? I always prefer to use feelings and experiences in poetr..."

It's fine, I should start writing again soon, the biggest problem with your suggestion is that well I wouldn't know what to write about myself


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