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General Chatting > Don't even stand a chance

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message 1: by Deviki (new)

Deviki Have you gone out with your girlfriends, on a girl’s night out. Feeling happy and confident.
But then when it comes to guy’s attention they always tend to focus on those of light skinned girls rather than the dark one. (No offense to light skinned people, I’m just stating my situation) I’m sure this happens to many girls.
It’s like we (dark skinned) girls don’t even have a chance of making an impression because the moment they spot someone with light skinned, they forget all about you and start giving the other full attention to the other one.
Next time you meet up with them (either planned or by accident), after a quick hello they start asking you where the other prettier light skinned friend is. If they are not coming, they just simple give u a smile and excuse themselves or gradually try to end the conversation.
Of course you tell yourself, “Ah well go figure, if he doesn’t give me a chance to shine, maybe he is not worth it”. But even after you say that to yourself, there is no doubt that it take a little time to get over it.
Did this ever happen to anyone? Or am I over thinking this?

message 2: by Kim (new)

Kim (kimgm) | 1032 comments I used to worry about that and then I decided those guys were idiots. If they couldn't figure out I was a hot commodity then they weren't worth my time.

As long as the beauty ideal sees light skin as being more beautiful--and let's face it some of our older relatives have even drummed this into our heads without even realising it thanks to comments they've made--then this will continue to be a problem.

My suggestion? Focus on how beautiful you know you are and change your strategy when you're out with your friends. There are other people out there who will see your beauty--they may even be trying to get your attention but you just haven't realised it yet.

message 3: by Deviki (new)

Deviki Kim wrote: "I used to worry about that and then I decided those guys were idiots. If they couldn't figure out I was a hot commodity then they weren't worth my time.

As long as the beauty ideal sees light ski..."

HAHAH yeah true that, but when it happens it hard not to feel offended. Yeah right after i said Hi and hello, he asked for my friend and when i told him she is not going to make it. He tried to end the conversation, i made it easy for him by just turning my back and talking to someone else. Felt good LOL

message 4: by Kim (new)

Kim (kimgm) | 1032 comments Then that guy is a jerk who is not worth knowing. :)

message 5: by Deviki (new)

Deviki Kim wrote: "Then that guy is a jerk who is not worth knowing. :)"

Yep :)

message 6: by Ren (new)

Ren | 291 comments Yeah I completely agree with Kim. There are things about you think make you special. Sometimes people just need to spend 5 minutes with you and their outlook changes. Heck....if I were you I would enjoy giving them the cold shoulder too. The way I see it too many me out there to let a few guys kill the happiness.

For me, I think my problem is just the disconnect with attraction. Apparently the guys that are attracted to me I'm not to them and vice versa. Either way, you just have to know you and not allow men (especially those who can be extremely superficial) to dictate your emotions.

message 7: by A.W. (new)

A.W. I agree guys who think that way or anyone for that matter are idiots. I come from a very large family 4 sisters and 5 brothers we grew up in a small rural southern town on a farm and honestly we are every shade of brown there is with me being of darker skin. I was very BLESSED to have never experienced negative treatment from my family or the outside world because of my dark skin. I never looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. I just thought I was very special because my dad has always made me feel like a princess even when I grew up and became a woman. Boys of different races approached me if they were not too afraid of my father lol...On the other hand I have close female friends that are dark skinned who shared with me their experiences and things they endured from childhood and into adulthood and it hurt because I could feel the hurt that some still carry within them to this day. Personally I think people who treat others this way are suffering from their own self hate and insecurities that they feel the need to attach themselves to something or someone who in their mind they think is better in order to make them look and feel good.

Paganalexandria  | 4060 comments When I was in High School my two year older best friend that was stacked looked like a prettier, green-eyed Tisha Campbell. While I was a late blooming skinny, flat chested and brown wallflower that faded into the background around boys. I loved her, but sometimes felt so insecure in her presence, by all the attention she received (and sometime rude comments). It gave me a complex for a long time, until we started hanging out in more racially mixed crowds. My confidence was bolstered by finally filling out, and being the only black girl in a room (sometimes people were unsure of her race) made me stand out, and garner it's own attention. I think it's sad that I couldn't own the true beauty of my brown skin until I was out of an all black environment. Keep in mind this was during the eighties, when light-skin was even more en vogue.

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