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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Starting today, July 8th, 2009- July 15th, 2009

message 2: by Hiram Alexander, Lights! Camera! Me! (new)

Hiram Alexander Orozco (hiramalexander) | 57 comments Mod
When are you gonna be posting new deadline thingies...

message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

now I guess... I actually forgot! Thx.. ima bad mod..

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Starting today, July 24th, 2009- July 31st, 2009

message 5: by Hiram Alexander, Lights! Camera! Me! (new)

Hiram Alexander Orozco (hiramalexander) | 57 comments Mod

message 6: by [deleted user] (new)


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

Starting today, August 1st, 2009- August 7th, 2009

message 8: by Hiram Alexander, Lights! Camera! Me! (new)

Hiram Alexander Orozco (hiramalexander) | 57 comments Mod
Okay well it's not exactly a story it's more like a, uh, script/play that I'm not quite finished with yet:

Surrounded by Idiots


(Hiram smacks his head. Scene changes to Evil Lord Fimbi's hideout.)

Vanessa: Sir, I mean ma'am, I abducted Hiram's brother and two of his friends like you said.

Fimbi: Excellent work, Agrippina. You aren't as useless as I thought.

Vanessa: What?

Fimbi: Oh nothing, Leslie.

Vanessa: My name's not Leslie.

Fimbi: Sure it isn't Priscilla.

Vanessa: My name is Vanessa.

Fimbi: Oh do shut up will you, Vagina?

Vanessa: (sighs) Arguing with you is hopeless. (Starts to sit on a chair, Fimbi sees the chair, takes it for herself and sits on it.Vanessa sits and falls on the floor.) That's it! I quit!

Fimbi: You can't quit, Penis. You are my sidekick for life! Now come here and help me decide what to do with our prisoners.

(Vanessa walks to where the Evil Lord is standing and they put their heads together.)

Fimbi: What should we make our prisoners do?

Vanessa: (thinks) We could poison them sir, I mean ma'am?

Fimbi: (she does a huge hand gesture, accidentally slaps Vanessa, she falls) Not original enough, Boobie! Think bigger! (Vanessa had just gotten up, she slaps her again, she falls from a huge hand gesture. Vanessa gets up and they start to pace, thinking, Vanessa right behind Fimbi.) I know it! (She does a big hand gesture and she's ready this time, she dodges) We'll make them...

Vanessa: (anxious) Yes! Yes! (gets closer to Fimbi but wary)

Fimbi: (motions for her to get closer, almost whispers) We'll make them do the mambo!

Vanessa: (intrigued, claps at her idea) Genius, madam! Genius!

Fimbi: Yes. Yes. Now, we should check on our prisoners. Follow me, Sweeney. (gestures toward Vanessa)

(Vanessa and Fimbi cross to where the cells are and in them they find three sleeping figures: Cesar, Emily, Jeremy. Vanessa bangs on the bars and all three jerk awake.)

Fimbi: Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello! (claps)

Vanessa: Uh, sir? I mean, ma'am?

Fimbi: What is it Todd?

Vanessa: It's night not morning.

Fimbi: Yes, yes, I know. I'm not stupid. I'll check the mail later. Now, how -

Jeremy: I'm hungry! (rubs belly)

Emily: You sound a lot like Franchy.

Cesar: I need to pee. (does a peeing dance)

Emily: You sound like Franchy, too! Too bad neither of you have her boobs. (sighs)

Fimbi: Well I can provide you with food. Vesuvius bring me my iPhone.

Vanessa: You don't have an iPhone.

Fimbi: No? Then what do I have?

Vanessa: An iPod.

Fimbi: Right. Just call Pizza Hut or something. Order a pepperoni pizza. (thinks, his stomach grumbles) Make it seven pizzas.

(Vanessa rushes out, comes back in with a phone, starts dialing and pantomimes ordering pizzas while the scene continues.)

Fimbi: Now as for peeing. Let me give you a cup. (looks for a cup in her coat pockets, finds none.) Looks like you'll just have to hold it in. Oh well. Now as for the boobs, I think we can come to some sort of agreement?

Emily: I only want Franchy's boobs.

Fimbi: Fine then! Stay horny and sexually aroused, bitch.

Emily: Fine. (crosses her arms)

(Vanessa returns.)

Vanessa: The pizza guy should be here soon.

(A doorbell rings.)

Vanessa: That must be him.

(She goes offstage and comes back on with the Pizza Guy who is holding eight pizza boxes.)

Fimbi: I thought I told you seven. Not eight.

Vanessa: I was hungry. Besides you're paying.

(Fimbi is about to go mad but the Pizza Guy interrupts)

Pizza Guy: Now I forgot to ask you, how many slices do you want your pizzas to be sliced into?

Vanessa: Does it matter?

Pizza Guy: Yeah you could have it cut into eight pieces or twelve.

(Vanessa thinks)

Vanessa: Eight please. I don't think we could ever finish twelve pieces.

Fimbi: Are you really that stupid, Crayola? The pizza will still be the same whether it's eight or twelve.

Vanessa: I don't care. (she crosses her arms and the Pizza Guy starts to cut the pizza into pieces)

Fimbi: Just leave it like that. We'll cut it ourselves.

Pizza Guy: (enraged) Fine! Let the fine art of pizza cutting go to waste! I quit! (goes off crying)

Vanessa: (shrugs) Let's dig in!

Fimbi: You couldn't have said anything more wiser, Lilian.

(Lights dim and curtain closes)

message 9: by [deleted user] (new)


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

Starting today, August 9th, 2009- August 16th, 2009

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