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e l -illcallubymine (ellaistired) I hope you enjoy! Feel free to post constructive criticism if intended!


e l -illcallubymine (ellaistired) Water.

I never trusted water. Never did, never will. The way it beckons you to come in with it's ice-cold foaming waves, just to suck you in and put you under the spell. The emerald color gleaming for you, so it can take you as a slave, pull you under the curse.

It's just the way it gestures you. The waves whisper as their cymbal's crash. Come in...come in...You run into the water, and it shows it's true self. It stores some people away, while others who are lucky get thrown out like a dead unwanted fish.
Come in...come in...The voices harmonize into an orchestra as it chants in my mind. Waves crash loudly and push each other into my imagination. followed by screaming. It's been a repeating playlist since It happened.

It wasn't anyone fault. Never was at all. It's just the water that causes the disasters. It sits patiently for it's prey and pounces when it seems most unlikely to do so.

It will wait for years. Not once will it construct any harm. It bides one's time for as long as it pleases, surrendering the small opportunities for the only one it insists on. It only wants that one person. It doesn't matter how long it hangs fire, the water will just keep it's peaceful self until the inside rages loudly, releasing it's inside.






More later. I already got writers block! Tell me what you think!


message 3: by e l -illcallubymine (last edited Apr 03, 2014 07:34PM) (new)

e l -illcallubymine (ellaistired) The vitotronic water doesn't want whether you dip your boiling feet into the cool water or stay in until your fingers and toes turn into ripe prunes. All it DOES care about is finding the right person to hypnotize the perfect person, the one it needs.

It always will have that movement that just urges you to go in, but only for a second. Doing it for a second tick-tocks into a minute, moving into an hour. And as time passes, where you least expect it, the water will devour you.

I've had experience with all of it. The water's indications, it's consuming, the curse, and that 5-more-minutes feeling. I regret taking that one last step, where it all began.

People should be living in fear, cautious with everything they do, paranoid about heading outside, but they don't, and I don't believe they ever will.

Hi, I'm Riley.


message 4: by Samantha (new)

Samantha | 69 comments that's good! however, u use the words crash and gesture twice (to some people it doesn't matter but I'm nit picky) and secondly, to give a little extra umph to the danger of the water I would change the word care that decribes what the water wants. it gives the water a sort of humam personification which leads to less of a feeling of fear because people can relate. so, I would just change the word care and the phrase surrounding it to something more primal, more animalistic with a hint of mystery to inspire fear. other than those 2 things though, its quite good!


e l -illcallubymine (ellaistired) Thanks! I appreciate the constructive critisiscm.


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