Don't Say That discussion

Talk About It > Bullying

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message 1: by Nephilim (new)

Nephilim | 187 comments Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Bullying is stupid.

message 3: by Nephilim (new)

Nephilim | 187 comments True. People do it because they feel the need to assert themselves.

message 4: by notyourfriend (new)

notyourfriend (amemori) | 331 comments Yep

message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay so where do I start on bullying? I'm wary of posting this but I will do it anyway because it's easier for me when others listen to me. Okay, I have been bullied most of my life. From kindergarten to 8th grade and a little taunting in high school (right now). I don't want to sound conceited but a lot of guys have been attracted to me thus causing jealousy in girls. I've been hurt by a lot of them for stupid reasons. I've also been hurt by boys who don't know how to express their emotions (I'm pretty sure you've heard the term "guys bully the girls they like). In elementary school I've developed a fear of males. I'm over it right know but there are lasting effects. I've tried dating some boys to overcome my fear but I would cower in fear when they would get close to me because I would be reminded of my past. This is why I only make friends on the internet (with an exception of a few real life friends who are awesome) and also the reason why I made books my friends. I could really make connections with books. Especially fantasy books because it's like a whole new world for me to jump into and forget the one I'm living in. Also a contributing factor to why I'm an atheist. If god was real then why didn't he help me while I was suffering so much pain? t's horrible especially when your friends just watch you while you're beating hurt because they're afraid to stand up for you. Bullying has impacted my life in such a negative way and I've developed so many phobias because of it. Bullying isn't just teasing, it's so much more than that and the emotional pain it gives you can be much more severe than the physical pain. I've experienced it first hand. Loneliness has dominated me has a young girl and I would basically cry myself to sleep at night. Sometimes I would think that I should just disappear and do everyone a favor by it. I had all these terrible thoughts. Do you know how much it hurts when everyone pairs up with one another and leaves you left out? It's like no one wanted to be with me, like I was a disease no one wanted to touch. Okay I'm done ranting. For everyone who read everything, thank you because I find it as a pain reliever when someone listens to me. I just want to say that if anyone is being bullied, I know how it feels to want to just withdraw from the world permanently and if you're feeling like that you better stop those thoughts right now because this is only the beginning of your life and there is so much more and as much as corny or cheesy this sounds it's true. Find an oasis in the desert you live in. Find something that you will miss if you think you just want to end it and use it to stop yourself. Don't be selfish and think about yourself if you want to disappear. Think about the people who will have an empty hole in their heart. Think about them. Don't hold the burden on your own. Let others hold a piece of it for you. Believe in a good future. Don't just do it for yourself but do it for me and so much people out there who will miss you. I may not know you but there will be a crater in my heart, I assure you.

message 6: by Taylor (new)

Taylor Bullying is bad, as we can all agree on, but...should it be punished by law?

For example, refer to the case of Amanda Todd. Should the bullies be punished for her suicide?

message 7: by The Phantom (new)

The Phantom (zerosummations) | 186 comments Bullying is terrible; it enforces stereotypes.

I quote myself as an example.
I hate the Scottish, and irrevocably so.
This is because, whilst living for two years in Scotland, I suffered many (what I perceived to be) attempts on my life, purely because of my strong well-spoken English accent.

message 8: by Khalif (new)

Khalif I have been bullied all my life. people would pull my hair, spit on me, chase me around, beat me up, kick me when I wasn't looking, throw things at me, etc. the worst part about it was that it was usually mobs of children. the thing that got me through most of it was convincing myself that I was better than them because I wasn't a bully

message 9: by Kay [Angel] (new)

Kay [Angel] | 126 comments Khalif wrote: "I have been bullied all my life. people would pull my hair, spit on me, chase me around, beat me up, kick me when I wasn't looking, throw things at me, etc. the worst part about it was that it was ..."

:( You are better than them in that sense

message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

I quote myself on this,

I think bullies look for something to make fun of in a person while as people who aren't look at something to appreciate.- Rachel Price

message 11: by [deleted user] (last edited May 07, 2014 08:32AM) (new)

This is have I have to say about bullies.

message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

bullying sucks, but I'm not really sure what we can do other than stand up to it and not be a bully ourselves. @Taylor on your question whether it should be punished by law, id say no. because sure it deals with the action, which sucks (i was bullied in grades K-7) but it doesn't deal with the why. The kids that bully are just as insecure and often in as much pain as the bullied. It doesn't deal with why the bullies exist. its often environment. and honestly, we'll never be able to stop it, but that's not a bad thing. The bullies in middle school who made me depressed showed me i could overcome that, I could do anything. They taught me where to find confidence. And that's what got me in student government today. Bullies suck, and yes in a way they some times kill people, but so does swimming. But more often than swimming kills you, it makes you stronger. Same goes for bullying.

message 13: by Taylor (new)

Taylor The trouble with your swimming analogy, though, is that swimming is not something you choose to do. When you get in the water, it's pretty well expected that you're going to learn go to be a good swimmer where you're safe.

The problem with bullying is that you don't have that option. Perhaps you can choose how you can react, but some people are just not prepared for the "deep waters" of bullying, if you know what I mean.

And given how many suicides are occurring (trust me, there are more than just reach the news, which is saying something), I'm about ready to start using the strong arm of the law to prevent some of this. It's interesting that you happened to revive this thread today, because I've been devising a system where reported bullies have a points-based record, and if they're racking up enough points, the police need to get involved.

I'm just done with seeing all these negative effects because kids think their cruelty is funny. Because I've had the nasty opportunity of being the last person to talk to some of the people who couldn't take it anymore. I'm not gonna stand by and say there's nothing to be done or that the kids just need to buck up.

message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Taylor. I've been bullied. I wasnt prepared. I was niave. I was bullied for being a moemon which triggered a lot of really stupid choices, but the thing is, I think your efforts would be better spent teaching kids how to teach people to deal with bullies than punishing bullies. If you didn't like my swimming analogy lets try a car crash. So two people wreck and often one goes to jail. Sometimes someone dies and it couldn't be helped other times they weren't wearing a seatbelt and more often rhan either of these is the seatbelt saves a life. How effecrive is putting someone in jail ofr a wreck, without a seatbelt to help the victim survive? Im saying the law good get involved all it wants, but its the seatbelt that will put a bigger denr in the problem.

message 15: by Taylor (new)

Taylor I've been bullied too. I think we all have. So that doesn't give your argument any more weight than the rest.

I'm just gonna keep tackling your analogies until you realize that your argument doesn't work.

In the seatbelt analogy, you're again just assuming that the bullied kid can put on the proverbial seatbelt and be just fine. Well, vehicle collisions can still kill an individual, seatbelt or no. Furthermore, the law is still very much involved in restricting the people who are at fault. They have speed limits. If someone breaks the speed limit, they get a ticket. And if you don't enforce speed limits, people are going to speed and someone will die, with or without a seatbelt.

Let me put it in terms of bullying so that the analogy doesn't get too confusing. Whether or not you prepare kids to handle, they still might be pushed over the edge. So merely preparing them is not enough. In an ideal world where the law would be involved, we'd have "speed limits," or laws that keep people from getting carried away with the teasing. If someone breaks those laws, they should be punished. And if you don't enforce these laws, people are going to go overboard and someone will die, with or without proper preparation.

message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

Ik, but it doesnt mean my analogy is inapt for all. Point aside.

I dont mind you attacking my analogy. Seems to always be the first thing to go.

I did menrioned that sometimes there was nothing to be done. Same applies to bullying, law or no, they broke and died. Also, im not saying the seatbelt is rhe whole solution, just the better start. I think the stop signs and speed limits etc can fit both into how we prepare kids and to prove that we cant prevent bullying. See here. The one driver follows all traffic laws and rules wears seat belt etc, gets hit and survives when their hit by a speeding car that ran a srop sign and for the sake of mt metaphor, without a seatbelt. The person hit aint in perfect shape but their alive. Now for the otherside. Same accident. The laws were there and the bully broke them, like they would with your anti-bullying law. The bully didnt follow the rules to make the 'road safe'. The law didnt change his action. But the law or advice as it would be in the case of bullying education would have saved his target. Think of this except without the advice. The first driver would be unprepared. No seatbelr. No guideline for how fast or slow to ro go. Go idea how to act on the road ro avoid a crash and would have died. The law helped some for the victim, but it didn't change what happened. Punishing the bully after the kids dead doesnt bring them back to life. Teaching the kid how to deal with bullyinf and peer pressure puts there gravesrone a lot farther into the future. I have ro go to sleep so take as long as you like to reapond.

message 17: by Khalif (new)

Khalif ...these metaphors are too confusing!!!!

message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

Haha. Thats how taylor and I communicate, metaphors. Um for the wreck. The person who cuases the accident equals bully, victim equals victim speedlimits/stop signs/road laws equals advice or law interference with bullying. Seatbelt equals teavhing kids how to deal with bullies. Make sense?

message 19: by Khalif (new)

Khalif Kinda. How do we know for certain that the seatbelt doesn't fail, though? Also, we have to wonder what's going on in the other car that makes them cause the accident? Truth is, advice sucks most of the time (How am I supposed to ignore a bully when I can't get away from them?), and sometimes, if you look into the life of a bully, you can't help but feel that their actions are the tiniest bit justified.

message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

i agree. i admitted that sometimes lives are lost deapite aid and i admitted bulliea havw problems too whoch is.why.i recvomwnd doing or best to change the wnvironmwnt so it happens less often and kids are better prepared. it aint perfect, but the bully needa hwlp not jail timw.

as dor ignoeing bullies, ik its hard. try discrediting thwir worda (mentally unless u want pulverizwd) by proving inconsitenxies or lack of evisence OR take over what makes them entertaines by bullying u ex) thwy like to make each other laugh so take their inaults and tuen them into your own joke. stwal the apotlighr. see?

message 21: by notyourfriend (new)

notyourfriend (amemori) | 331 comments Wow was that English?

Anyways, the way I see it is this: Bullying is becoming a hit trend and will never end in this world.

message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

sometimes i wish i didnt read blocked messages and leave it at that

message 23: by notyourfriend (new)

notyourfriend (amemori) | 331 comments Haha

message 24: by notyourfriend (new)

notyourfriend (amemori) | 331 comments I'll say this too, since technially I can because that's the whole point of the group right? According to *CertainPerson* I am a bully. One day I'll die laughing.

message 25: by [deleted user] (new)

as a denote to my above analogies i just want to note how i define a bully. its someone who recognizes they hurting someone emotionally or physically, purposefully or accidentally and continues to do it with no.apology or intent of change

message 26: by notyourfriend (new)

notyourfriend (amemori) | 331 comments I prefer truthful person.

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