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message 1: by Mark (new)

Mark Faulkner (markrfaulkner) | 464 comments Right, the dreaded blurb. I have a novella to release and, being short, I wanted a short blurb of only one or two lines. How's this read? Any help appreciated.

He already knew it would be his final trip down the river, when he wished upon a star to be left alone.
Little did he realise, the stars would answer.


message 2: by David (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments The first sentence flows a little awkwardly. How about:

Knowing it would be his final trip down the river, he wished upon a star to be left alone.

Little did he realise, the stars would answer.


message 3: by Mark (new)

Mark Faulkner (markrfaulkner) | 464 comments That reads much better, thank you. Can you tell I've not got a great writing head on at the minute?


message 4: by David (new)

David Staniforth (davidstaniforth) | 7939 comments Not at all. It was just the "already" and the "when" that made it a little clunky :~)


message 5: by Philip (sarah) (new)

Philip (sarah) Willis | 5174 comments I agree!
I'm hooked already, when will your book be available Mark?


message 6: by Kath (new)

Kath Middleton | 25094 comments I've read it Sarah. It's very good!
I'm not keen on 'Little did he realise... It's got a slightly cheesy sound - don't know how else to describe it. I'd prefer a straight, 'He didn't realise...

But that might just be me.

I'm with you on the short, sharp blurbs, Mark. Some people tell you so much you don't feel you need to read the book!


message 7: by Mark (new)

Mark Faulkner (markrfaulkner) | 464 comments Philip (sarah) wrote: "I agree!
I'm hooked already, when will your book be available Mark?"

I'm just uploading it now. Telling people Friday but it will probably be tomorrow.


message 8: by Mark (new)

Mark Faulkner (markrfaulkner) | 464 comments Kath wrote: "I've read it Sarah. It's very good!
I'm not keen on 'Little did he realise... It's got a slightly cheesy sound - don't know how else to describe it. I'd prefer a straight, 'He didn't realise...

B..."

Thanks, I might swap it a little, at some point.


message 9: by Philip (sarah) (new)

Philip (sarah) Willis | 5174 comments I'll start exercising my one-click finger now then Mark.....
Good luck with the release!


message 10: by Mark (new)

Mark Faulkner (markrfaulkner) | 464 comments Well, it's uploaded now, and here's the Goodreads page - Infested by Mark R. Faulkner


message 11: by Joo (new)

Joo (jooo) | 1636 comments I liked the bit "A novella, with spiders"

For me that would have been too much information. I liked reading it not having any idea about it apart from it was a Mark Faulkner book and it was called Infested.


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