This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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Sibling Rivalry

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message 1: by Jillian (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) I hate it when parents focus so much attention on one child that they make the other kids in the family feel useless and worthless.


message 2: by Joshua (new)

Joshua I know what you mean, until my two siblings were out of the house and onto college, i didn't get any attention around here.
Then once they were gone i got more then i wanted... Then once my mom got a boyfriend i was back to getting none, and this is why I read, and sit on the computer


message 3: by Jillian (last edited Feb 17, 2008 09:49AM) (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) Well my one brother in my parents eyes is perfect. He can do NO wrong. I can call my Mom to speak to her and she takes over the conversation immediately to tell me alllllllll about my one brother and his family. That is ALL my parents talk about. Is him and his family. You wouldn't think any other children exist in this family. My husband and I have actually brought up random weird things in conversations and my parents can ALWAYS bring my brother into the conversation. He relates to every thing you can possibly talk about. It's so freaking bizarre. My husband and I have only been married for a little over a year and he's already getting sick of hearing about him.


message 4: by Joshua (new)

Joshua gods dead.
Is your brother the youngest?


message 5: by Jillian (last edited Feb 17, 2008 10:04AM) (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) Actually I am the youngest. This brother is a middle child like Jan Brady. He is very insecure and is always competing with others to make himself feel better.



message 6: by Joshua (new)

Joshua strange
I'm the youngest as well and my 19 year old sister is middle.
i always hear how the youngest gets all the attention
and the middle gets none.
But coincidentally in both of our cases,
the middle gets all the glory.
It's particularly funny because
my sister is one of those self-centered
bitches who yells at their mother all day
and never says a nice thing o her unless hey want money for some new hollister jeans.
yet she's still the one worth fighting for.


message 7: by Jillian (last edited Feb 17, 2008 10:18AM) (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) Well my brother is always doing things to make my parents happy. He's always trying to out do the rest of us it seems.

Well we are in our 50's and 30's in this family and the problems continue. How scary is that?

I think people should have to take a parenting class before they decide to have children. So many of us are running around with scars and issues that started during our youth and from bad parenting. My parents continue to make mistakes and make us all hate each other.

I always thought a parent should love all their children equally. We are all special and unique. No child should be held up higher then the others.

I'm to the point where I want to blow up at my parents the next time they bring up his name. I just don't care about him or his family anymore. I know that sounds horrible but when you are forced to listen to stories about someone constantly and repeated many times also it just makes you want to scream.


Servius  Heiner Try growing up with 5 siblings, I wouldn't recognize my parents if they walked up and slapped me.


message 9: by Joshua (last edited Feb 17, 2008 10:21AM) (new)

Joshua I have a feeling when I'm 50
and my sister is 54
and my mom is on her deathbed,
my sister will still be bitching at my mother try to get her to make a phone call for her, or make her a egg salad sandwich.


message 10: by Jillian (last edited Feb 17, 2008 10:19AM) (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) There are six kids in my family


message 11: by Joshua (new)

Joshua I need to voice this because i JUST happened.
Okay so my sister is at college right now, but when she comes home my mom does everything for her, even picking up her clothes to wash.
and I can take responsibility and always pick up my clothes, put them in the hamper and take them downstairs on wash days.
But two days ago i pulled a muscle in my back, and i still can't bend over. My mom asked me to pick up my jeans (which are truthfully scattered along my floor) and bring them downstairs and i told her I can't because I can't bend over and she stars yelling a me that i never do what she asks and all that.



Servius  Heiner I wouldn't be against a license to have kids... you know you need a class to get a drivers license, you need a class to get a gun card, why because you can fuck people up with them. So why not have a control on child bearing? And Discuss


message 13: by Jillian (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) You need to attend a class to get married also.

My husband and I have discussed this many times. There are so many people out there carrying baggage and issues from their own childhood and then they pass that crap on to their own kids and the cycle continues.




Servius  Heiner So I ask why can anybody just go and push out a fetus?


message 15: by Jillian (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) That is a very good question.....

I think because most people don't think before they have sex and get themselves knocked up and don't know what to do.

Some people are pressured by their parents to have kids. You must carry on the family name!

I don't think enough people put enough time into thinking and preparing before they have children.

My husband and I have decided to not have children. The problem with society is that when you make this decision you are looked down upon. You are asked why don't you want kids? Your life won't be worth anything until you have children. Having kids is the purpose of life. Who will take care of you when you get older? (I personally love that one).

Some people have kids for selfish reasons.

-They get knocked up to keep a man.
-They have a kid because they are lonely.
-Pressured by family and friends to have children.


message 16: by Joshua (new)

Joshua Here's the worst reason to have a child:
My cousin Kelly pops out another every-time she wants attention,
because everyone loves a new baby in the family, so they visit her when she has a new kid, but then once people stop visiting, she pops out another.
And she isn't even married,
her boyfriend cheats on her,
and the whole family is pretty sure
she blows coke...


message 17: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony You see, the key is to team up with your brothers and sisters against your parents. My brother and I always check in with each other when our mom tries to split us. I highly recommend it.

My wife's family is a lot crazier, though, although they hide it better. Her two brothers in particular are highly competitive, and her mom uses it to her benefit constantly. Who's going to come see grandma more? Who's going to get the better job so grandma can brag at the pool? That shit is a waste of time.




message 18: by Jillian (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) Getting married was the best thing for me. My husband has helped me deal with a lot of my family issues. I can see now that I spent so much of my time trying to please my Mother...which is never going to happen. I'm never going to be thin enough, smart enough, make enough money etc to make her happy.

SInce I got married I've changed. I'm more outspoken and assertive then I used to be. I speak up at family gatherings and it shocks them. They don't know what to think of me anymore.

The sick thing with my family is my brother who is the golden child only became the golden one after he had two boys. So my parents treat his kids better then the other grandkids who are all girls. They lavish attention, money and gifts on them. Cause as my golden brother always says "only a real man can make boys."


Servius  Heiner I and my wife are not in the breeder business because well,
1) Kids are expensive
2) We are both selfish, and I know I don't want to share her or my toys
3) Is this really a world one would want to raise a child in?
4) You are always told how it will change your life... I like my life thank you, and who said it would be a change for the better.

After all the money, heartache, good times, and bad then they grow up to be little hell spawn for about 10 years... if your lucky, if not then they will live in your basement till they get thrown in jail, or you die. No Offence Josh.

Buy me this buy me that, I want I want I want. Well I want you to shut up, I want my mother in law to leave me alone about it, and I want my friends to give up too. Someday I might change my mind, but for the now, the more they all push the more I dig in.



Servius  Heiner Oh and we are responsible enough to know we would make terrible parents, our spawn would defiantly go postal someday.


message 21: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony I hereby promise not to bother my sons about having kids. I don't see what's the big deal about having grandchildren.

I find that my mother in law picks on my wife a lot more than she picks on my wife's brother's wives. I think because my wife is my mother in law's child she thinks she can get away with it more. We had a huge blowout about it last summer because I feel it extends to our kids...she feels like she can mess with my kids more, too. Even talking about this is raising my hate a bit.


message 22: by Jillian (new)

Jillian (mother_of_dinosaurs) I always tell my parents that just because you give birth to something doesn't mean it will grow up to love you. There are plenty of parents out there (mine included) who have a kid who no longer speaks to them.

You'd think parents or people in general would be happy when you make an adult and mature decision to not have children. When you decide to not add to the over population.

OH and kids age you too. I saw that on the discovery times network. It was a show that explains our life from birth to death. The biggest thing that ages us is having children.




Servius  Heiner YEY! I will live forever now Woo Hoo!


message 24: by Joshua (new)

Joshua what would i be offended for?
I'm 15
I'm supposed to live with my mom.


Servius  Heiner about the hell spawn. ;)


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

haha -good one josh
guess what? Life's not a hallmark card
or a pampers commercial
those sweet little soft babies shit in those things about 5 times a day
and the older they get the nasiter they get
until puberty where they lay around the house and sleep all day, eat massive quantities of food,
wear their clothes for 5 minutes then toss them on the floor and then instead of washing them ask you to buy them more,
play video games or music incredibly loudly until 4:00 in the morning
drink or smoke dope
have unprotected sex
do other assorted risky things that they don't tell you about but you are supposed to either protect them from or pay for,
then they tell you you're a lousey parent and blame you for making them an emotional wreck
finally move out, then when they have a couple of little fluffies of their own,
call you up and ask you to babysit
for free,
I only wish I had messed with their little tender psyches a little more.


shellyindallas josh- your profile says you're 19. which is probably why Nick thought you may be offended at his comment about kids living in your basement.


Servius  Heiner If I were ever to have children they would grow up seeing only the inside of a coat closet. I would train my awesome dog to shove their hot pockets under the door, for meals. When I'm leaving for work I'll just sprinkle some of the girly smelling stuff by the closet door, to mask the smell of potty.


message 29: by Joshua (new)

Joshua oh yeah.
if i was younger then 18 my profile had to be private
and with a private profile
what the point?
no one can see your books, your quotes or anything,
so i figured a little white lie wouldn't hurt, and mentioned my real age on my profile.


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