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message 1: by Stacey (new)

Stacey | 12 comments I pushed my first attempt at a novel aside when this idea got stuck in my head.





Epilogue.





Beep, Beep, Beep.
The sound of my heart is all I can here. As I listen to the beeps on the monitor my mind wanders, it might be just my mind or the pain killers running through my blood.


Beep, Years

Beep, Days

Beep, Moments

Beep, Days again.



I have come to believe that life is made up of not just moments but the days that contain these moments.

As I lay in the hospital bed waiting I think back as to how I got here. Thinking about all the days that lead me here. And there have been many.

10,000 days in my life so far. What a day to end up in hospital.

I've have my share of days and moments within them. Good ones. Bad ones. Ones full of singing. Ones full of friends. Ones full of work. Ones full of travel. Ones full of music. And ones full of absolute heartbreaking terror. As I got older the good out weighed the bad, but for a time it seemed like it was just bad day after bad day.

Art, Movies and especially Music, in large part was my saviour, it has filled each day of my life so far and with music in mind I cant help but think about the top 40. 40 songs that mean something to someone. That thought leads me think about the top, or bottom, 40 days in my life and if they mean anything to anyone to anyone other that me.

The 40 days that made my life, My Life.




C& C more than welcome.


message 2: by Wordy, Modérateur d'un. (new)

Wordy Nerd (wordynerd) | 1809 comments Mod
I liked it mostly. The ending, starting at the paragraph that begins with the word Art I didn't like. I thought it was still very good and that you should post more!


message 3: by Stacey (new)

Stacey | 12 comments I've been going back to that paragraph, umming and arhing. Thanks for the input.


message 4: by Wordy, Modérateur d'un. (new)

Wordy Nerd (wordynerd) | 1809 comments Mod
You are welcome!


message 5: by Stacey (new)

Stacey | 12 comments Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)
























Day # 1
(Day # 1894)
Monday, 10th September 1990.

10am
I wake up coughing. I've been sick for days now. I'm all sweaty and my tummy feels bad. I just want to sleep but the coughing always wakes me.
“my throat hurts” I mumble
“I know, drink some water” Its Caroline, I don’t open my eyes but its her. I take a big sip and go back to sleep.

6pm
I wake up to the smell of food. I look and see Caroline. She has soup. It smells better than most of the food here. I feel better now, my tummy is ok and I'm not sweaty. I'm still very sleepy though.
“Eat this and then get ready for bed time inspection” Caroline said placing the soup on a tray.
“I still have to?” I croak
“Yes, always” Caroline is sad.

7pm
“Anna Beth” she call’s. I don’t like that name but she always calls me that.“Anna Beth, you need to get in line with the other girls. Kristof will be very displeased at your behaviour today, you've slept all day.” When she says his name I freeze. I take my dress off and join the others. Kristof is mean if you make him displeased. I don’t know what that word means but its bad.
“That’s a good girl Anna Beth” She says again while picking my dress. She is my aunt. Her name is Joan. I don’t like her. I came here after something bad happened to my mummy and daddy. I don’t like it here. There are too many fences, and you get hurt if you go over them. And we have to stay inside too much. I stand next to Caroline, She is 8 and I’m 5, she looks after me. I love her. Our hair is the same colour, blonde, just like everyone here but ours is the lightest. Her ice blue eyes make me feel safe.
“Well, hello girls. Are we all looking pretty today” Kristof says. His voice makes my tummy feel sick.
I squeeze Caroline's hand then let go and hold my own hand. Its bed time inspection. I hate bed time inspection. If Kristof says you look bad he hits you. If you look good he makes you go in the bad room. Caroline says he makes you dance and he touches himself. Caroline looks good a lot. He does not hit or take me to the bad room ever and I’ve been here for 2 birthdays. Joan says its because she and John my uncle are important to The Centre, that they are in the circle and the circle runs The Centre.
Tonight I don't look good or bad and neither does Caroline.
“Look at your feet Margaret” Kristof says. Margaret smiles. She know he will hit her now and she know its better to be hit, I don't know why. “they are so dirty.” Kristof slaps Margaret with the back of his hand and I close my eyes. Caroline squeezes my hand. I open my eyes a look at Margaret. She in sitting on the flood and has blood on her nose. Joan helps her up.
“Clean feet girls. No man will want you if you can wash. No husband will want a filthy wife.” Kristof yells as he walks past us. “Now Jane don't you look pretty today.”
Jane starts to cry and Kristof takes her to the bad room. I've never been in the bad room but the other girls say its dark and smells and sometimes its not just Kristof.

I lay in bed holding Caroline's hand. She is in the bed next to me. We hold hands like this every night for the past 2 birthdays. Caroline says she has been here for all her life.

I don't want to be here all my life.

I don't want to be here one more day.

I don't want to be here one more second.


message 6: by Stacey (new)

Stacey | 12 comments sorry about the formatting


message 7: by Stacey (new)

Stacey | 12 comments There were some days that deserved to be drowned at birth and everyone sent back to bed with a hot brandy, a box of chocolates and a warm, energetic companion. Today was without question one of those days.
― Diana Pharaoh Francis, The Cipher



Day # 2
(Day 2192)
Friday, 5th July 1991

6am
I'm so tired today. It was my 6th birthday yesterday so I got the day off. But today is not my birthday so I have to work. Everyday is the same, except you birthday. We get up, make our beds. Clean our rooms. Make the boys beds, clean the boys rooms. Make breakfast, porridge, and wait till the boys finish. Then we have breakfast. After breakfast we clean up while the boys play.
I wish I were a boy on days like today.

8am
After finish the breakfast clean we help the big girls do the washing. When you turn 6 you have to help, but I’m too small to do much so Caroline helps me, she is always helping me.

9am
School. School is ok. The make us read and write, and we learn about numbers and music. They say if we are chosen to go out into the world to spread the word of the Centre we need to be smart. We also and learn that the world outside the fence is a bad one.

11:30am
After laundry we make lunch, meat and vegetables, for the boys, they eat first, they always eat first. Then we eat. Then we clean, then we get to play. But not for long, dinner needs to be made. Dinner, more meat and vegetables, its the same as breakfast and lunch, boys first then us girls.

2pm
More school. I like it but at the same time I don't. I get to tired to listen.

6pm
At dinner we are celebrating Jennifer' 16th birthday. She moves to the older building were its boys and girls tomorrow. She wont like it. None of the other girls like it. I don’t know why but I don’t want to turn 16. After dinner we clean up and get ready for bed.

7pm
We stand in line again, Caroline and I don't get told we are good or bad so we can go to bed.

8pm
I lie in bed holding Caroline's hand while she is in her bed. I can hear Jennifer crying and its bad. The other girls are trying to help her stop but its not working. I don't like 16th birthday's.

I hop out of bed with Caroline and we get into the hope chest and shut the lid. Its quite in here, safe. Other girls do this too.

I hate 16th birthday's.
I don't want to turn 16.


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