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Goodreads Author Zone > What do your kids say about the sex scenes in your novel?

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message 1: by J. (new)

J. Gleason (joegleason) | 45 comments I never thought twice about including sex scenes in my novel, Anvil of God. They were a necessary part of the story. But I didn't think through how my kids would react to them once the book was published. I explore it more here: http://www.sunnichild.com/blog/

Anybody else have this problem?

message 2: by Eileen (new)

Eileen Iciek | 472 comments Not yet, and I don't plan on writing anything particularly graphic. But it could happen. Depends on the kid, though.

message 3: by Christine (new)

Christine Malec | 173 comments I've dealt with this by being up-front about it with my family. I don't have kids, but sex isn't an easy topic for family in general. When I published, I warned my family there was graphic sex in my book, and not all of it conventional. I let them know that if they weren't comfortable encountering that aspect of my creativity, I'd be fine if they didn't read the book, but they could consider giving it as a gift to someone else if they want. I've also written a piece on the vicissitudes of erotic writing, here's a link for anyone who'd like a laugh. http://www.beltanethebook.com/the-all...

message 4: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shea (lisashea) | 82 comments I tend to view sex as a normal, natural part of life. I've sent my books to my parents, my son, my siblings, my aunts and uncles, my nieces and nephews. If they don't want to read them, that's fine. If they do, that's fine too.


message 5: by Rexcrisanto (new)

Rexcrisanto Delson | 60 comments it all depends on how graphic it is. Maybe there should be a ratings system such as with movies.

message 6: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shea (lisashea) | 82 comments Rexcristanto -

We talked about this in depth in another thread, but yes I believe wholeheartedly that books should have ratings on them. Especially with online books where one can't flip through the entire thing to see what might be buried in Chapter 13.


message 7: by John (new)

John Thorndike (johnthorndike) | 5 comments To widen the topic a bit: What do your parents and siblings and cousins say? Also, while sex scenes may be the most delicate, there could be other scenes that worry you. If you’re a woman writing about a mother and daughter and not everyone is behaving well, what will your own mother make of it?

I think it’s a classic case of To thine own self be true. Or more exactly, To thine own book be true. It was Philip Roth, talking to a young Ian McEwan, who said, “You’ve got to write as if your parents are dead.” Which I take to mean that if you are coddling and modifying your characters because you’re afraid of what your parents will think, you’ll have a dead fish in your hands.

I’ll admit, however, that I still wonder what my son will think when I write a scene that includes some graphic sex. And my son is 43! Old inhibitions die hard.

message 8: by J. (new)

J. Gleason (joegleason) | 45 comments I didn't have too much push back from my siblings or cousins. Even nephews and nieces seemed okay. Most of the trouble came from my kids and their friends (all adults now) who were used to thinking of authors as other people. One of my sons buddy's pulled out my book at a poker game and started reading some the more graphic passages aloud, much to my son's chagrin and the room's amusement.

My mom finally got around to reading it and she said it was a little difficult for her to absorb, but once the story took hold, she was fine.

Thanks for the quote John. I'll use that.

message 9: by Maggie (new)

Maggie Anton | 219 comments My son, who is now married and age 33, refused for years to read any book with a sex scene his mom had written in it. Only after he got engaged 5 years ago, to a girl who had read all my novels, did he start reading them.
Maggie Anton

message 10: by Laurel (new)

Laurel Corona | 12 comments Actually, my thirty-four year old son has never commented, but my late husband used to look over at me when we would be reading in bed (he reading one of mine), and I would catch him looking at me in shocked amazement. You wrote that???? he seemed to be saying.

message 11: by Paul (last edited Feb 05, 2014 03:48PM) (new)

Paul (paullev) | 86 comments My daughter was 12 years old when she read The Silk Code in manuscript (which my wife had been copy editing). She told me it was the best book she ever read - better praise than I get from reviewers - and that the hero, Phil D'Amato, was just like me. Then I realized that there were a couple of love scenes in the novel, fortunately none overly explicit ...

message 12: by Christy (new)

Christy Nicholas (greendragon9) | 29 comments Try writing the sex scene in your novel that actually resulted in your own conception :)

The first novel I wrote (Better to Have Loved) was based on the true story of my parents. Mom and dad met and then parted, not knowing mom was pregnant, and I found him thirty years later. Now they are living happily ever after, so I had to write that into a novel.

My conception was in a Victorian claw-foot bathtub in a British B&B in the 1960s. I wrote that all in the book, including several other sex scenes with mom and others (it WAS the late 1960s!). Mom and dad both loved the book. And dad said he cried at several places :D

message 13: by Catherine (last edited Apr 04, 2016 02:09AM) (new)

Catherine Byrne (katarina66) | 38 comments Son; Mother! I didn't even know you had sex!
Daughter; For goodness sake -- surely you can write something more graphic than that!

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