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Help with Story Blurb?

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message 1: by Adam (new)

Adam Bolander | 19 comments Hey guys, I'm getting ready to submit another story to, but I'm having trouble with the blurb I want to use. The story is set in a fantasy world, but instead of it being a medieval setting, it's a western "Cowboys and Indians" setting, and I want to make that clear upon reading the blurb. I can't seem to find a way to do that without it being too wordy, though. Would you mind helping me out? Here's what I've got now:

"Tassendile is a land similar to our own, set in times we once knew ourselves. It is a land untouched by humanity, where strange creatures thrive, both for good and evil. It is a land where magic users and gunslingers walk side by side. Here, bandits, monsters, and bounty hunters stalk the untamed wilderness. In Tassendile, the peace is kept by the Marshals and their fabled firearms, the Guns of Legend. And it is here that Kulgan, a Ranger made an outlaw by the Church of Embin, is sought out by Adlis, a cursed young woman who needs his help. But nothing is as it appears in Tassendile, and they soon find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy to bring a convicted criminal to justice, with enemies far more powerful than they could have ever anticipated."

message 2: by Julie (new)

Julie Salinas | 1 comments Kulgan walks a mystical ledge, outlaw from the Church of Embin, but protector of the land as Marshal of the Guns of Legend. Adlis seeks his help, saddled with a curse while in the untamed and magical land of Tassendile. What finds them both is a conspiracy that sweeps them into a magical journey of cowboy justice against dangerous and mystical corruption.

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