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Poetry > The Night Sky

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message 1: by Emily Ann (new)

Emily Ann | 78 comments The night sky

The stars are cold wrapped in fire

Suns that never tire

Reflects the moon a brilliant silver

Now but a sliver

Through darkness of the ever sky

In its dark the breathing die

And weightless fly through its fold

And see the beauty of the planets untold

Brighter then the sky is dark

Bright pinpricks in the sky are stark

And through it all I feel the beauty

looking up at the dizzying space I feel steady

I stand on earth but wish to fly

And in the dark blanket of the sky lie

message 2: by Dana (new)

Dana (danachewy) | 735 comments Wow, I really like this! One criticism I have is that some of the rhymes are a little bit of a stretch, like the stark/dark one and beauty/steady. I say don't limit yourself to rhyming poems! You can change some of them. The silver/sliver line is a stretch also because the sliver liner has way less syllables and breaks the rhythm. Just some tips! ;)

message 3: by Emily Ann (new)

Emily Ann | 78 comments Thank you for your tips!

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