Young Writers discussion

Realistic Fiction > Lost Cause

Comments Showing 1-7 of 7 (7 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Kriss (new)

Kriss (krisslee) | 5015 comments Mod
(Warning, some "sensitive" subjects are written about in the following... thing, as well as some swear words.)

There is a light. There is a moment of revelation. There is a moment of reflection. Suddenly, you know who you are.

And it’s all bullshit.

She did not see any light aside from the oncoming car. There was no moment of revelation. There was no moment of reflection. She died without ever figuring out the thing that we all try to understand; our identity.

Do not glamorize the tragic. Do not glorify the sad. There is nothing profound in suicide.

She did not leave a note. She did not explain. She left my house with a laconic comment. “Love—“

I never heard the rest. I don’t remember why not. I think she may have closed the door, or I did. Regardless, the sentence wasn’t finished, the mystery wasn’t solved. Love you. Is that it? Is that what she was going to say? Because I remember the look in her eyes, which was brighter than I had ever seen. She had given me a brief glance, one that faded before it had begun. She had looked at me. Blue eyes lit up; full of something I had never seen, but could not name. Then she was gone.

I had felt hope, not despair.

The grass is not greener on the other side, my friends. It is the same dead, yellowed stuff bristling under your feet. There will be burs no matter where you go.

I wish I had told her that. I wish I was poetic enough to say what I was thinking, and to do it without a stutter. But there was certainty in her gaze. I think she refused to look at me because I would have broken her resolve.

- - - - -

This is her. This is she. This is the suicide.

I am not a person. I am the open wounds on your wrists. I am the bullet holes in your chest, splintering your ribs. I am the one that could not be saved.

I think you all know me.

Synonyms for “lost cause” include fool’s errand, vain attempt, waste of time, and snipe hunt. There is no reward for your efforts.

We are all broken.

message 3: by Isaac (new)

Isaac | 8014 comments Wow, I don't know what to say. I love this.

message 4: by Kriss (new)

Kriss (krisslee) | 5015 comments Mod
That's what happens when it's late and I want to write. But I'm glad you guys like it!

message 5: by Colby (new)

Colby (colbz) | 3211 comments This is incredible...

message 6: by Roxanne (new)

Roxanne Shriver (roxannexshriver) So sad! D.: But also so beautiful. (.:

message 7: by Nermeen (new)

Nermeen | 124 comments whoa... intense but so good!

back to top