Robinson Runaways discussion
New York City
>
Library (NYC)
message 1:
by
cecilia
(new)
Aug 19, 2013 05:57PM
reply
|
flag
With the light thumping of converse upon the solid floor, Caroline entered the library with about five books in her hands. She'd read them all over the past few weeks and, though she'd tried to fly through them, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that most, if not all of them, were overdue. Between her time reading and playing video games, it wasn't that unusual for her to keep a rental later than allowed and she was sure this time wasn't any different. Her suspicions were confirmed when she checked in the books and the librarian gave her the dirtiest of looks. In the end, Caroline's fees had added up to a total of five dollars and a good few stares from other patrons. Wincing and giving a more than accepted apology, she made her way over to a table to sit down. From the over the shoulder bag she'd hulled in, Caroline pulled out a notebook and a pen, scribbling down a few things she'd been working out in her mind. Though she wasn't aware of it, the library was fairly full, buzzing with the hustle of people studying for the upcoming exam season. Caroline, on the other hand, hadn't ever been one for studying. She much rather preferred to wing every test that she took, resulting in mixed results. There were hardly any open tables. The one she had claimed was pretty much the only one open besides a few at the back littered with piles of books that had been in the process of being organized. It seemed that one of the librarians had gotten distracted with another customer and forgot to finish her job. Caroline was so distracted with her writing though that she didn't pay any attention. The world was blocked out to her as she created her own reality.
Edwin slipped through the doors, silent feet, though not trying to hide. Ed never tried to hide; that would be suspicious. He didn't call attention to himself as he returned his books--which, thankfully, hadn't been overdue; Ed was broke--and sat down at a table. He hadn't bothered to pick up another book, because he wasn't here to read, lose himself in a fantasy world. He was here to plan, make a foolproof plan this time. A plan that would end it all and put an end to his suffering, that would work for once. Between obnoxious fellow orphans and homework help--that was his job, unfortunately, helping the younger kids was a pain when all he wanted was to be left alone--Ed had hardly had time to breathe, let alone plan for ways to end everything. Of course, he couldn't let anyone know what he was planning, so it wasn't like he could do it just anywhere. Planning at home would be too obvious; someone would catch him. No, Ed had to do all of his planning here, where no one noticed the orphan boy who'd never been adopted, who hid behind a shell of happiness and optimism that no one ever managed to see through. Unlike most people, Ed wasn't studying. Who needed studying when you had a brain that absorbed every fact you needed to know? Teachers often remarked on Ed's intelligence and how easily he clung onto facts, but in reality, Ed just liked remembering things. So studying wasn't something he did often. In fact, he found that oftentimes studying only hampered his grades and test scores rather than proving them. So, Ed wasn't here to study. He was here to plan the end, and that was it. Hopefully he wouldn't run into anyone he knew here; that would be a disaster. Just like normal, he'd grab a few books before left so no one suspected anything, but usually Ed didn't read a word when he got here.
It took quite a while for Caroline to finally get stumped with her writing. Things were looking well until she'd written past the climax and didn't have a way to slip into the falling action and then the climax. That seemed to be the way things were going for her recently: she wrote the most exciting part first before failing utterly at comping up with anything after that. She always seemed to have a habit of writing the best parts first and having the rest pale in comparison. It was just one of her writing's downsides she supposed.Now, completely and utterly puzzled as to what to do next, Caroline glanced up and took in her surroundings. Quite a few people seemed to be doing leisurely activities such as reading or some were even sleeping. Though Caroline could go for a nap - she always could - she wasn't that desperate. Or at least, not yet she wasn't. She was just about to return to her own work when she realized that there was another boy that looked to be brainstorming as well. In the spur of the moment, she wondered if he may be able to help her out. So, like the outgoing she was, Caroline stood from her seat and waltzed over to the table, a bright smile on her face. She didn't bother to wait until the boy had even looked up before asking, "Is this seat taken?" Her hand brushed against the empty chair across from him, signifying that was the one she was referencing. It didn't appear to be taken, but she figured she'd ask. No need to be rude, right?
Ed had run out of ideas ages ago. Honestly, he could only end his life in so many ways. The real problem was actually being able to go through with it, without getting found out. That would be the part that took the most time and energy; secrecy. Ed had always been a great secret keeper, but sometimes things slipped up, and he would be discovered easily if anyone even paid attention. Of course, no one paid attention to what went on with him, so Ed wasn't worried about being found out in the least. And even after it was all over, he seriously doubted the fact that anyone would notice he was missing. After Elodie, no one ever remembered him. She had made him whole, almost like a regular human being. He hadn't been depressed when he'd been with her. Too bad it had all been taken from him with a simple pull of a trigger. Everything that had mattered in his life after Isiah had left with the pull of a trigger. Maybe it would be fitting that he ended his life the same way... When he heard a voice, not loud in the slightest but seemingly so due to the fact that the library was dead silent, he looked up from his notebook and flipped the page so it looked as if he'd been doing homework the whole time. There was no need to risk being found out by anyone, even if he didn't know them. Ed forced a smile, which, surprisingly, wasn't hard. The girl across from him looked like Elodie, so he found it hard not to stand up and gather her into his arms the way he would have done to Elodie. God, the same blonde hair and blue eyes, it threw him off. Badly. Anyone with blonde hair and blue eyes did, but for some reason, this girl caught his attention and he didn't let it waver. "Nope," he said after a moment, realizing his silence. "Go right ahead and sit."
Caroline hadn't minded the silence. Actually, she'd somewhat expected it. Though she couldn't possibly know what Ed was thinking - her thoughts were far too bright for his depressing - she didn't think there would be an intricate conversation the moment she stepped up. After all, this boy hadn't any clue who she was just as she hadn't any idea who he was either. However, despite that conversation killer, Caroline was determined to make a new friend. Pulling out the chair from the table, Caroline sat down, keeping her bag slung over her shoulder. She didn't know how long she'd be sitting here and, though she hoped it wouldn't be a short meet and greet, she didn't want to get comfortable and then have to leave. After having sat down, Caronline's eyes immediately went to the boy's notebook, scanning over the information on the page. It was just simple homework. Oh... Caroline thought to herself, somewhat disappointed. In truth, she'd been hoping that he'd been thinking of story ideas or the like - that maybe he was an author like she was. However, that seemed not to be the case. Eyes going up to the boy, she examined him next. If she hadn't seen him come in by himself, Caroline would have thought he was here with someone else. He didn't appear to be one to be in a place all by himself. He wasn't bad looking at all. Inside, being a complete and utter fangirl over cute boys, Caroline was freaking out. He was definitely attractive. But despite this fact, Caroline wasn't about to be intimidated. "I'm Caroline." She said, holding out her hand with a smile on her face. Hopefully, he wouldn't leave her hanging.
(view spoiler)Ed set his pencil down on top of his notebook, looking at the girl carefully. She seemed to be disappointed about something, though he didn't know what. He'd only said a few words and already she was disappointed? Well, that would be most people's reactions; no one was really satisfied with him, anyway. Even strangers expected something from him that he wasn't, typical, typical. His eyes scanned Caroline's face for a moment, forcing them not to pause on every feature that reminded him of Elodie in any way, shape, or form. Ed hardly ever said this of people since he'd met Elodie, but Caroline was beautiful, for sure. Just the thought had his eyes falling back to his paper before he remembered she was still there. Goodness, it was going to be hard to have a conversation with someone who looked so much like the one person he wanted more than anything, but couldn't have. Realizing he had been staring, however discreetly, Ed quickly averted his eyes to the table and drummed his fingers across the surface in a mindless pattern. Hopefully she wouldn't see the emotional struggle that was hidden far away, in the dark corners of his eyes. Ed was good at hiding emotions, but there were always giveaways when he had bad thoughts. Clenching of his teeth, tapping fingers, dark eyes, anything of the sort. One had to look very hard to find those giveaways, but they were definitely there.
Ed's eyes landed on the Caroline's outstretched hand, and after a moment, he realized he had yet to introduce himself. "Ed," he said after a moment. "My name is Ed," he added, not even noticing that his thick British accent had caught the eyes of a few girls at a nearby table. Inhaling deeply and forcing himself to calm down, he shook her hand firmly, the proper way, the way it was done in Europe. There was nothing flimsy about it, nothing timid. Ed's handshakes always proved his European upbringing, because no American he'd ever met had a firm handshake. Ed tried not to look at Caroline's face, he really did, but eventually, his eyes found their way back up to it. She reminded him of Elodie, but he could see differences now. They had a different curve to their lips, different setting of the jaw. The look in Caroline's eyes reminded him so much of the one he'd seen on Elodie when they'd first met that it made his heart hurt more than usual. After a few moments, he dropped his eyes to the table once more.
(view spoiler)To say that Caroline was freaking out now would be the understatement of the century. Whenever she was around guys that were attractive, she tried her very hardest not to weird them out with her excitement. Recently, she'd gotten better at hiding it, but it was sometimes difficult. One of the most challenging times to hide her fangirling was when the boy made contact with her - which, you know, Ed had. Now, is was blatantly obvious that Caroline was in a good mood. Her eyes shone and a bright smile lifted up the corners of her mouth. Any signs of disappointment that may have been there a moment before had vanished. "It's nice to meet you, Ed." She said in her normal, American accent. Gosh, his accent was to die for. Really, Caroline could faint of infatuation right now. She was most definitely boy crazy.
Noticing the way he stared at her, Caroline simply smiled before trying to come up with a subject to talk about. "So, Eddie, whatcha workin' on?" Though she could obviously see it was homework, Caroline still thought she'd ask. Why not, you know? She didn't have any clue that he'd flipped the page over while she approached. She couldn't even detect his deep depression. Sure, she knew when people were upset and she could definitely see the small signs, but Caroline hoped that it was only something small. Maybe he'd accidentally tripped on the way here or dropped his ice cream or something like that. Caroline didn't know, but she just hoped it wasn't too serious. Seriousness had never suited Caroline's fancy.
(view spoiler)Ed didn't think he could look up from the table to give Caroline eye contact the way he would have with any other person. He couldn't look up and think he was seeing Elodie, and let his heart soar for that brief second before realizing that Elodie was dead and seeing someone who looked like her was a cruel reminder of how he'd failed to... Ed wasn't sure what he'd failed in, exactly, he just knew he'd failed at something. He'd left Elodie for five brief minutes and when he came back, she was dead. Even though it had been almost two months since her murder, just thinking of Elodie caused his whole mood to go dark again, and each time he thought of her, it was harder to keep up his false optimism.
Yet, just like every other time, Ed banished all thoughts of Elodie to the back of his mind--however reluctantly--and looked back to Caroline. Trying not to really see her when he made eye contact, Ed put on his 'I'm fine' face, and took a deep breath to steady his voice before speaking. "Nice to meet you, too, Caroline," he said with a smile, one that made it impossible to tell he was fighting his insane emotions in his dark, depressed head. "Just some homework," he lied in response to her question. If anyone knew Ed was plotting his death, that would be the end of it all. Someone would tell that he was planning suicide, and that it would work this time, and then he'd be forced to listen to people tell him it was okay, that he had things worth living for. There was nothing worth living for, not anymore. His parents, the only person he'd ever consider family--Isiah--and his girlfriend were all dead. No one cared what happened to Ed, no one ever had. He couldn't stand the thought of someone finding out what he was planning, because despite everything that'd happened to him, all he'd get were false promises and pity, neither of which he needed. Ed just needed peace, and he wouldn't get that anywhere in this lifetime. "What about you?" Ed inquired, quite curious as to what it was Caroline was up to.
(view spoiler)"Well," Caroline started, drawing out the 'e' quite a bit. "I was just over there writing when I saw you doing the same." Her shoulders went up a little in a shrug. "So I figured that I'd come over and introduce myself." She matched his smile, though, of course, hers was laced with sincerity. "I'm a writer." Her hand went to the bag slung over her shoulders as she pulled out her rainbow colored notebook, plopping it down on the table with a thump. Some people turned to check out the sudden noise, but Caroline didn't take notice. The fact that people were staring at her actions was no longer new for her. She'd gotten used to drawing attention to herself; in fact, she did it on purpose. Flipping open the first page, she traced her fingers over some of the words that she'd written in her sloppy handwriting. "In truth, I was wondering if you were writing something other than homework. But, I mean, it's no biggie that you weren't." She shrugged again, the smile never fading from her lips. She thought that it was funny - and cute in a way - that Ed seemed to be so quiet around her. Though, Caroline didn't know how he acted around others so she couldn't know for certain it was just her. However, he had come here alone, hadn't he? Did that mean he didn't talk to a lot of people? Caroline mentally shook her head at this. She was here alone and she talked to people all the time. Perhaps it was just that no one had accompanied him here. The thought of him not having tons of friends would have saddened Caroline.
(view spoiler)Ed nodded after a moment. He seemed to remember seeing Caroline writing at one of the other tables, if his memory wasn't mistaken--which, of course, it never was. "Right, I remember seeing you when I walked in," Ed said, British accent thick as always. Ed had never known how his accent stuck around, since he'd only been in England for his first few years, but he didn't think about it much. When Caroline said she was a writer, he looked up from his hands and made eye contact, something he'd hoped to avoid but known would be necessary if this exchange had any hopes of resembling normal. "A writer?" he asked curiously. Ed had always admired authors, partially for their talent and partially because books were his only friends, most of the time. "I always wanted to be a writer when I was a kid," Ed admitted momentarily. He'd wanted to be a writer when he'd met Isiah, who'd taught him how to read and write, and just about everything else that someone could hope to know. Honestly, Isiah had taught Ed just about everything he knew to this day. Ed had to admit, he rather liked her smile, it was quite pretty, and reminded him of Elodie in no way, shape or form. They had the same look behind it, the kind interest, but otherwise, Caroline didn't seem like Elodie at all. Maybe they had the same hair color, and there was something else about Caroline that reminded Ed of Elodie, but he couldn't let himself think like that. "Well," Ed said thoughtfully. I'm supposed to be writing something for English tomorrow, but I haven't quite gotten around to it yet," he admitted sheepishly. He had a creative writing assignment due tomorrow that he hadn't even thought about yet, and he wasn't planning on starting it until he got his planning over with, if ever.
(view spoiler)The excitement that lit up in Caroline at the mention of his childhood dream was strong and bright. "Really?" She asked, a little too excitedly. "That's awesome! I've wanted to be an author ever since my mother bought me my first journal. Of course, back then, I was hardly what you'd call an amazing writer." She laughed a little, "Though, I guess most five year olds don't really start out as the next Charles Dickens." Shaking her head a little bit, Caroline got back on topic, "Anyways, I know we just met, but I could help you out on that assignment if you like. I'm pretty much good with writing anything: fanfics, roleplays, creative writting, essays, everything." Though she didn't know if it would be accepted or if he even wanted to work on it at the moment, Caroline though she might as well offer up her help. If she could help him get something done, she would be the happiest girl ever. She loved to help other people. "Just say the word and I'm there." Her hand went up to rest on the table, her multicolored finger nails shining in the glow from the light above them. That was what Caroline spent her time doing: reading, writing, and painting her fingernails. It was quite the contrast to what Ed may have been doing. While he was thinking of ending his life, Caroline was thinking of ways to enhance it. Even the tinniest things of life made it worth while for her.
(view spoiler)Ed couldn't help but smile at Caroline's excitement. Damn, this girl had him smiling for real in less than three minutes. He'd never really met bright people like her who took the time talk to him, so he supposed that's what made him smile. "I was eleven," Ed said after thinking a moment. Would she ask why he'd picked out a dream at eleven and never followed through with it? He really didn't want to explain that by any means. "And I wasn't bad," he added, not sounding full of himself in any way, just stating a fact. He wasn't a bad writer. "But then I kinda got... sidetracked. I had other things to do. I guess I just never picked it back up..." Ed shrugged. It had been the truth; he got sidetracked majorly. His teacher died, and then learning writing afterwards was impossible, because the orphanage didn't have time for him. Ed chuckled at Caroline's comment about Charles Dickens. "Nope, I'm pretty sure it takes a lot more than a five year old to be Charles Dickens. Better luck next time," Ed couldn't believe he was laughing. Honestly, did someone willingly starting a conversation with him do that much for his mood? Was he just lonely? Was that why he could never be happy? He knew it wasn't why he wanted it all to end, but it was interesting to see how much someone willingly talking to him made him feel better. "Help would be appreciated. I've got an essay and that story to write, due tomorrow," he admitted. Of course, he hadn't planned on actually doing them, since he'd be dead sooner or later, and then it wouldn't matter.
(view spoiler)At the sound of his joyful laughter, Caroline couldn't help but feel happier herself. Making people laugh was what she aimed for. Sometimes she wasn't the best at it, but, hey, you have to try, right? "Wow, due tomorrow?" She asked a little incredulously. Caroline was a perfectionist in every sense of the word and, though she didn't expect the most out of everyone else, she expected herself to be more or less perfect. Everything she did had to be spot on or she'd make herself re-do it. This applied to her school work as she always did everything early than she was supposed to. In fact, the paper that Ed was talking about, she was fairly certain she'd already done that and turned it in. That is, if they went to the same school. In truth, Caroline hadn't seen him around before. Usually, at school she was very self absorbed, making the most of her time and getting done what she needed to. She didn't really pay attention to very many other people at school.
"You go to the high school right down the block, right?" Caroline asked, trying to quench her curiosity. It would be amazing if her new found friend went to the same school as she did. It would be like some sign that she was headed in the right direction; that she was on the right track to making more friends. She already had many funny and quirky friends, but more were always welcome in her book.
(view spoiler)Ed couldn't help but smile faintly, reminded of Elodie. But the moment he thought of her, he reluctantly banished all thoughts of her to the back of his mind. He could delve in his sadness and finish his planning later, right now, he had to work on keeping up appearances so he could leave this world without her. A sacrifice for an ultimate goal, seemed fair, didn't it? Ed could ignore the pressing thoughts he had about Elodie if it eventually got him out of this world. He could and he would. "Yep, due tomorrow," Ed agreed. "I've got this habit of waiting to do thing 'till the last minute," Or not at all.... Even thought Ed had been in America a while, his accent was still thicker than it should have been, and it wasn't going anywhere soon. Ed had no intention of finishing any of these assignments anytime soon; none of them were important anyway. Of course, now that Caroline was here, he had to at least pretend like he cared in the slightest.
At her question, Ed paused, envisioning a map in his head. "Yeah, it's just down the block. Do you go there?" If Caroline did go to that school, things were about to get slightly more messy. Ed would probably have a harder time avoiding suspicion if he saw Caroline often. Of course, he hadn't seen her around before, so he was probably in the clear.
(view spoiler)"Sure do!" Caroline said, smiling wide. "Been going there ever since... well, ever since I graduated from middle school." She laughed a little bit, thinking her reply a bit stupid. She hadn't a clue why she'd included the last part, but once it was out of her mouth, it became pretty hard to take it back. So, Caroline hadn't even attempted to. Instead, she just kept the conversation going, unwilling to let it die so early, "Anyways, I think I know what English assignment you're talking about. If I remember correctly - which isn't much to go by - I think I finished it a while ago. I could still help out though. It probably wasn't my best paper in the world, but I could still help out." Caroline really loved to help others out. This was mainly the reason for what she wanted to be when she graduated from university: an English teacher. Though she loved to write and would want to be an author on the side, being a teacher would mean everything to her. It combined her two favorite things: writing and helping. The job couldn't be anymore perfect for her.
(view spoiler)"No kidding, me too," Ed grinned, chuckling. "I didn't have any idea that other people went to high school after middle school." Ed's sarcasm wasn't mean, it was the joking kind that people just couldn't help but love, the kind of sarcasm that made people laugh. Ed was surprisingly humorous for someone who'd been suicidal for the last two years. Ed couldn't help but smile at Caroline when she offered to help. "If you really want to help me," he said with a lopsided smile as he slid his essay over to her. "You'll help me with this abominable history essay, then the story. My essay needs much more help than that story ever will." Ed promised, grinning. "If you want to help, of course," he didn't want to pressure Caroline into helping him with his homework--which he wouldn't be doing if she weren't here--if she didn't want to. Ed could just come up with something really quickly, and as long as he turned in his assignments, the orphanage wouldn't get any progress reports on him and Ed would be free to continue planning the end of his misery. It seemed simple enough.
(view spoiler)Unaware of how she may have been progressing Ed's plans, Caroline looked over the essay and immediately went to thinking of what needed to be done for it. "Hm, okay..." She said, trailing off slightly. Her eyes flickered up to Ed, catching his lopsided smile. He was much better looking when he was happy like that with no air of mystery to him. But, then again, everyone looked better when they were happy. That was just the way things went. Ed though, he was much more attractive with a smile on his face and a laugh from the heart. It seemed like he didn't even have to try to be happy - a fact that Caroline very much appreciated. Though she was wrong about him not having to try, this just proved that though she may have thought of herself as an expert 'unhappiness-dector', she truly wasn't. With Ed, Caroline couldn't tell what he was thinking. To her, he just looked like a normal teenage boy that was actually talking to her. That part alone was surprising enough. Usually when she approached guys, she either got a weird look or the remark of 'I have a girlfriend'. Guys just didn't tend to talk to her much - especially ones that were good looking. That just made this whole thing all the more special. "I'd love to help, Ed." Her mind began to rake over what she could use as a nickname for him. She'd tried Eddie but hadn't like the sound of it. Oh well, she'd just have to work on finding one later. For now, she just wanted to make sure she could help him with his homework assignment.
ℐєηηαℓуη wrote: "Unaware of how she may have been progressing Ed's plans, Caroline looked over the essay and immediately went to thinking of what needed to be done for it. "Hm, okay..." She said..."(view spoiler)
"It's a pretty bad essay, I know," Ed said with a laugh, not even ashamed of the fact that his essay was less than stellar. He was trying to brush it off as simple inadequacy, but in reality, he wasn't putting effort into it because he didn't care. Ed didn't care what happened to his essay, because he wouldn't be alive long enough for the effects to matter. He didn't care what it would do to his college applications, because Ed didn't plan on being around long enough for those applications to be sent. "I've never cared much for history, and it shows in my assignments," he admitted, slightly sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling faintly. Ed wasn't the slightest bit ashamed of the fact that his essay was horrible, honestly. Ed didn't care that his essay was bad, but he at least had to try and appear concerned. Despite Ed's intelligence, essays weren't exactly his forte. Not that Ed really cared, though. If Elodie had still been alive, he would have written that essay weeks ago, as well as the story, and maybe he would've even been paying attention in class. He would have done anything to make his future bright, just for her. Now that she was gone, though, Ed didn't care about the future, because he was determined that he wouldn't be living it without Elodie. Isiah had just been the beginning, but Elodie had been the last straw. Everyone who ever cared about him was cruelly wrenched from his grasp, and Ed was sick of it. "Your help would be much appreciated," Ed said with a lopsided grin that looked real, but felt layered in falseness. "And it's probably needed, too."
At his false happiness, Caroline could only smile. Though she'd been trying not to stare, she'd been watching the way he moved: how he rubbed the back of his neck, smiled, all those little things. In truth, Caroline tended to look for them. To her, those were the marks of an actually happy person, someone who lived their live in a similar, carefree manner to her. However, she didn't know how truly off she was. Had she known just how deep into depression this newly made friend was, she would have said or done something to help with his plummeting life. But even though she claimed to know so much about happiness, she couldn't see past the mask Ed had put on. His joy appeared genuine to her.With a small laugh, she went back to examining his essay which, in truth, wasn't really all that good. "Yeah," She said, laughing, "It is pretty bad." A bright smile was on her face, letting him know that he was only playing around. Taking a purple highlighter from her bag, she began to mark off the extra words that were needed or the spelling errors that had been committed. She also started to go over the information, thinking of whether or not the things there were actual factual or not. As she worked, she glanced up at him and asked, "So, Ed, what do you like to do in your free time? Besides put off doing homework, I mean." That same smile was there but wider this time. Caroline really hoped he didn't take her humor the wrong way.
Ed couldn't help but let his mind linger on how much like Elodie Caroline looked. Sure, they wouldn't have passed for twins, but they could definitely pass for sisters. They had the same blonde hair, the kind that looked soft to the touch that Ed had trouble not reaching out and running his fingers through. Caroline possessed the same clear, smooth skin that Elodie had, though not in the same shade. Even still, Ed found it difficult not to reach out and stroke her cheek with his thumb. Their eyes were really what set them apart, what brought Ed back to the cruel reality of Elodie's death. Elodie's eyes had been a cool, yet somehow warming violet. They'd been beautiful, yet Ed still found himself intrigued with Caroline's eyes. Even though blue was a color he saw often, Caroline's eyes had something about them that had Ed's attention captivated. Her eyes were blue, but they were the kind of blue that Ed would easily get lost in, lost from his life that kept going downhill, farther and farther away from his grasp every day. He'd gladly lose himself in her eyes, leaving behind everything else.Ed couldn't help but laugh as Caroline examined his essay. "I didn't really try," he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, still. "I don't particularly care for history," Ed gave a lopsided smile, one he had mastered so perfectly that it was impossible to tell that his emotions were anything but the bright, optimistic ones that people saw on him. "In the slightest, if I'm honest. So the information is probably wrong," Ed laughed softly, mindlessly playing with the pages in his notebook, the one with his plans. "I usually get stuck helping out everyone around the house in my free time. I don't really have it, if I'm being honest. The kids always need something." Ed could say he rather liked the way Caroline teased him, mostly because it helped keep his mind off the darker aspects of life.
At his dislike of history, Caroline couldn't help but comment, "Aw, c'mon! You don't like learning about a bunch of dead guys?" A playful smirk was on her lips, accenting her little joke, "I love learning about dead people. It's just so interesting." Her voice was laced with sarcasm, a thing she tended to specialize in. However, it didn't come out in a mean way. It was quite obvious that she was only joking. Her eyes went back to the paper for a moment as she picked out some more things that needed to be corrected. In truth, Caroline didn't mind helping him out like this. She really just wanted to help someone get an 'A' and, besides, she needed some practicing for her own editing. It seemed like a win-win situation to her. At the mention of him not having free time, Caroline's eyes went up to collide with his, "Kids? Oh, wait. You mean siblings right?" She had no clue that he was an orphan much in the same way she considered herself one, "Gosh, it has to be nice to have brothers and sisters." Sure, Caroline had the brothers and sisters in her adoptive family, but that couldn't compare to the real thing. As much as she loved the relationship she had with Valerie - her closest adoptive sister - it would have been amazing to know someone she was related to by blood. That was always something Caroline had secretly wished for.
Ed couldn't help but find Caroline's false disbelief amusing. "I can't stand history. Who needs to dwell on the past when we're all focused on the future? Besides, history is too dark. It's all depressing things I'd rather forget," Ed shrugged, appearing nonchalant, though he was far from it. "Dead people don't exactly strike my fancy," Ed added, which was true. He didn't understand the appeal of dead people, he just wanted to be one of them. Not to be like them, but so that he could be done with the hellish life he was living. Considering the fact that Ed despised history, both in general and specific cases, his essay as nowhere near the best he could have made it. Ed's essays--the ones that had effort behind them--often blew people away. Though Ed didn't try anything, anymore. Ed only tried one thing, and that was to end everything with no suspicion. Ed smiled when Caroline asked about the kids. "No, not kids," he said after a momen. Caroline didn't seem like a bully, so he wasn't too worried about her exploiting the fact that he was one of the rather unlucky orphans who never got adopted. "Orphans. The other ones in the house. I'm the oldest, so I've got to help out with homework." Ed didn't mind helping the little kids, though. Most of them were sweet and heartbroken, so much that they often had him wondering why he hated his life so much. Then as soon as he was alone again, he remembered. Everything, that was why he hated his life. But he'd be done with it soon enough, and no one in the orphanage, no one at all, really, would miss him. "Having siblings isn't all it's made out to be. They're pretty obnoxious, if I'm honest. There's got to be fifteen of them, at least."
Caroline just nodded for a second, her focus still on the paper. In truth, she'd been so absorbed that she missed a bit of what he'd said. It wasn't until a minute later that she finally snapped out of her little daze, "Whoa, wait." She pointed her highlighter at him for a minute, trying to pick out whether he was telling the truth or not, "You're serious?" The question wasn't meant to be rude or insulting or anything of the like. Instead, it was just to see if he truly was telling her the truth about his life. This wouldn't have been the first time someone had tried to make fun of her for not having a blood-related family. If he was making fun of her... However, Caroline didn't see any of the normal signs that he was lying. No unusual twitching - well, at least not any twitching that hadn't been there before - no shifting eyes or feet, nothing of the like. "That's awesome!" She exclaimed a little too loudly, gathering a few stares. However, she really didn't care. Her voice quieted reflexively as she elaborated a little further, "I mean, it's not awesome that you're an orphan, but, I guess, it may be for me because I don't know my real family either." Though it wasn't a happy subject, Caroline smiled. She'd gotten used to the fact that she didn't have anyone related to her by blood. Still though, it was nice to know someone who didn't have that either and wasn't a part of her adoptive family.
(view spoiler)Ed was afraid that Caroline had been ignoring, she seemed so intently focused on his essay. Though once her highlighter was pointed at him, Ed's eyes glued on it, watching her expectantly. "Yes, I'm serious," he said, slightly less enthusiastically than he'd been speaking earlier. "I'm an orphan. One of the rather unlucky ones, but an orphan all the same," Ed shrugged, pretending as if it were no big deal. A large part of Ed's life was pretending, though in reality, all he really wanted was someone who wouldn't leave him like everyone else had. Though Ed knew no one had left him intentionally, it still stunk to know he was entirely alone; the other orphans never cared. "Awesome?" he inquired before Caroline finished her statement. "Oh, I guess it would be pretty cool... to meet other orphans... though I live with them, so that excitement has worn off long since." Ed shrugged, knowing his mood had darkened, though only slightly. He wasn't worried about being found out yet. "I guess it's cool, though, since all the orphans I know are little kids..." Ed couldn't help but smile faintly, remembering the little kids back at the orphanage. Despite himself, he couldn't help but love them.
(view spoiler)
(view spoiler)Caroline didn't match Ed's smile. Instead, she kicked her own up by five notches - if that was even possible. "I can relate." She nodded, putting the cap on the highlighter she had pointed in his direction. Her focus had momentarily drifted from the essay she was supposed to be fixing and onto the conversation she was currently engrossed in. "My family isn't exactly exciting either." She corrected herself a moment later, "My adoptive family, I mean." Leaning back in her chair, she twirled the highlighter in her fingers, watching the color as it swirled in the light. "But, hey, they're family. Can't help but love 'em." Caroline leaned forward in her seat a little again, "But, you, you're the first orphan I've met outside of my own family. Congrats on being the first, Eddie." She smiled wide and let out a little giggle, amused with herself. Being this hopelessly excited over things like this was just how Caroline was. Even if it wasn't that big of a deal, she saw it as something incredibly awesome.
(view spoiler)Relate? Ed seriously doubted that Caroline could relate to him in any way other than the fact that they were both orphans. "Can you?" he mused, sounding more thoughtful than he felt. Ed felt doubtful, because he knew this beautiful girl couldn't have known sadness the way he did. In a way, it was a reassuring thought, to know that Caroline couldn't have been through as many horrors as Ed had. It would be a shame for a girl as lovely as her to be trying to kill herself, the way he was. The world needed more optimists, not more pessimists. Thankfully, Caroline had forgotten his essay, though. Ed didn't need to embarrass himself anymore than he already had. "Exciting? I wouldn't say my housemates aren't exciting, they're definitely that. They're far from boring, they keep things interesting," Ed shrugged a half smile on his lips. He raked his fingers through his hair, having to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from reaching out and stroking Caroline's cheek the way he would've done with Elodie. "Little kids are definitely interesting, if not exciting," Ed mused, smiling faintly. "Family is family," he agreed at Caroline's comment. "But you don't have to love them. I know I sure as hell hated my dad," he mumbled after a moment, though Caroline couldn't have possibly heard him. "Eddie?" Ed arched an eyebrow, a lopsided grin on his face. "It'll suffice, for now. And good, if I'm the first, it means there can't be too many. The world doesn't need any more orphans, now does it?"
(view spoiler)"Eddie it is then!" Caroline declared, a wide smile on her face. She laughed a small amount before returning to the subject of discussion, "No. No, it doesn't. The world is good with the number of orphans it has now." That same bright smile was still on her face as she gazed at him for a moment. He was most certainly attractive with his sweet smile and the friendly look in his eyes. To her, he just seemed to be a happy, incredibly cute guy who, for some reason, had no problem with talking to her. Caroline wondered why that was anyways. He seemed like he could be perfectly capable of making friends if he wanted to. But maybe that was the thing; maybe he didn't want to make friends right now. What if she was bothering him? Caroline suddenly wondered if that was the case. "I'm not bothering you, am I?" Though Caroline typically wasn't one to care what people thought of her, she still liked to make sure that the other person wasn't uncomfortable with her presence. Leaning back, Caroline slumped down a little, "If I'm bothering you, just tell me and I'll head out." It wouldn't have been the first time someone found her annoying and told her to leave. That was always an awkward situation.
(view spoiler)"I can see you're enthusiastic about this nickname," Ed mused, a smile playing on his lips. Caroline struck him as a girl who was enthusiastic about everything, so this didn't surprise him in the least. "In all honesty, we could probably use fewer orphans in the world, the number we have right now is far from good." Ed sighed softly, his smile never fading, though. He'd mastered the art of pretending long ago, back when he'd been trying to convince himself that he could pretend everything was alright. Ed had failed; he knew nothing was alright, but he'd at least tried to convince himself that he could live. Looking at Caroline, Ed almost felt like he could forget his unhappiness for a while, maybe just let himself think that he was allowed to relax for once. Though the fact that she looked quite a bit like Elodie was unnerving him, making that quite a difficult task. Though Ed found it difficult not to reach out and take her hand or something, he lost himself in his head. Caroline's sudden question caught him off guard, and he looked up at her. "Are you bothering me?" he asked with a light laugh. "No, you're perfectly fine, don't worry." In all honesty, Ed needed someone to take his mind off his planning for a little while; and Caroline was doing him a favor, unbeknownst to her.
"Well, that's a relief." Caroline stated, smiling once again. She was beyond relieved that she wasn't bothering him and, by the smile on his face, she could tell that his words were truthful. "You have no idea how many people have actually told me I was annoying them." She laughed a little bit, "It's unbelievable, really." Her eyes looked down to the essay she had been going over. For the moment, she had forgotten about it and, though she wanted to help out Ed, she didn't exactly feel too excited about going back to it. Carolin liked talking to Ed; it was a lot more interesting than just looking over essays. She gave a little sigh, her eyes drifted back up into his. They were nice, she though; a really beautiful color. "But, anyways, the world definitely could use less orphans. Too many of them as there is." She leaned forward and put her chin in her hands. "Enough with the depressing topics though." A bright smile was on her face, "So what do you like to do for fun Ed?"
"Is it?" Ed teased, sticking his tongue out at Caroline briefly. "For all you know, I'm a creep who wants to blow up the library. Then you would want to be bothering me so you could get out, wouldn't you?" The lopsided grin on his face endeared him to anyone who saw it, and the British accent in every one of his words only made him easier to like. Thinking back to what he'd said, Ed couldn't help but be surprised that he actually had the heart to joke about something, considering what he'd been occupying himself with before Caroline had come over. Though it felt quite good to have the slightest bit of happiness, even if it wouldn't last long. Ed couldn't help but wonder if he liked Caroline merely because she looked like Elodie, why talking to her was making him happy, though Ed sincerely hoped not. Appearances weren't something he liked to dwell on, yet he found himself so captivated, so tempted. Ed was forced to occupy his hands by drumming them loudly on the table to keep from reaching out to hug Caroline, or something else of the sort. "We can always use less of sad things," Ed pointed out with a faint sigh. "Depressing? Yeah, enough with that," he agreed, though in his head, all he could think was you don't know anything about depressing, do you? "Fun? I don't think I ever really have fun," he admitted with a shrug, grinning slightly. "Just school and homework, and the occasional television..."
"Oh, yes." Caroline laughed, "I definitely would." She saw the way he was sticking out his tongue for a moment and only laughed harder, amused by this entire situation. Her hand went up to her found to stop her giggles and when they finally ceased, she still couldn't keep the cheeky smile off of her face. However, she didn't want it to go away. Caroline enjoyed laughing and smiling around Ed; it seemed easy. "You seem to think we can use less of a lot of things." She pointed out, not really knowing why she had. It just seemed like something to say. Her eyes looked to him for a moment, taking in his appearance and his tone of voice. His accent was very dreamy, she thought, and soon found herself losing herself in his voice. At his last comment though, she snapped out of it, "What?" No way!" The smile was still there, but her eyebrows were raised in question. She was waiting for him to tell him he was joking and that he actually did a lot of things in his spare time. However, when it didn't come, she asked, "You're kidding, right?" In her mind, there was just no way that was all he did. Didn't that get horribly dull?
"As long as I know that you have some sense," Ed teased, laughing softly. He didn't even care that they were in a library, and needed to keep their voices down. Ed hadn't enjoyed anything in such a long time, he'd drop the good boy attitude long enough to have something fond to look back on before he ended it all. Never had Ed questioned whether or not he actually wanted to go through with it, end it, because he knew he did. "We could use less of a lot of things," Ed said with a shrug. "Think about it. We could use less unhappiness, less starvation, less war, less pollution, fewer orphans. Of course, unless someone gets off their lazy butt and does something, it'll never change. I do think we could use less of a lot of things. Lots of people do, I'm sure." Ed didn't think anything of his words; they were true, why should he hesitate? Ed was honest to a fault, and at times like this, it showed. "Yeah, I don't have much free time. My 'siblings' don't have the best teachers, so I get stuck picking up their slack. It's not that bad, honestly. They're good kids. They'll get adopted." Unlike himself, who'd never get adopted.
On the topic of staying quiet, Caroline didn't seem to care either. Albeit, she'd never one for being quiet, she didn't feel the need to now more than ever. "Some sense?" She asked, incredulously, her eyes alight in humor, "What? Did you think I was an idiot before this?" A laugh bubbled up in her chest, but she tried to keep it down. Out of the corner of her eye, she could just see a librarian giving her the evil eye. However, this only made her laugh even louder until she just couldn't hold it and burst out laughing. A minute later, she came down from it and started her next sentence, "But, yes, you're right. The world could do without a lot of things. Especially the unhappiness one you mentioned. I agree with you on that one the most." She felt the smile waver and replace with a small serious look. "No one should be miserable with their life." Her shoulders lifted up in a shrug as she looked back to him, smiling at his words, "But, it's really great that you take care of your siblings like that, Eddie. Making room for them rather than taking your own free time; I think that's really sweet. Very chivalrous of you." Really, Caroline did think it was an extremely sweet thing for him to do. While she tried to be the best big sister she could, Caroline had to admit that she didn't always do the right thing in the time. "You sound like the perfect big brother."
Ed, for once, wasn't concerned with keeping the peace in the library. He was enjoying himself, for once, and the way his life was going, he needed something to enjoy before he ended it all. "Yes, only some," he teased, grinning. Ed's brown eyes had lighted up, suddenly ten times more interesting, though Ed didn't think anything about it. He didn't care much about his appearance, nor who it attracted to him. "Not an idiot, I was just worried about your sensibility. There is a distinction." Ed didn't normally joke around, but with Caroline, he found it easy. Maybe it was just that she reminded him of Elodie, and for once, he could be the bright person he used to be. I'm setting myself up for heartbreak, he couldn't help but think, which was true. Letting himself think he was with Elodie, even for the briefest moments, was an easy way to get his heart broken again. It was too sweet to let himself think that, though, that he didn't even care. The consequences wouldn't matter in a few weeks. Miserable with their life... No one should be miserable with their life Caroline's words swirled around in his head, though he dismissed them quickly. He felt like those words were directed at him, though Caroline couldn't possibly know about it. He hadn't told anyone, so it must have been coincidence, right? "Nobody should be miserable with their life," he agreed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Perfect big brother?" Ed mused, smiling faintly. "I wouldn't say that, but I'm not a horrible sibling." He shrugged, preventing himself from pointing out that a perfect big brother wouldn't be suicidal. "They've only got so much time left before I leave, might as well make the most of it." Though he doubted Caroline thought about 'leaving' the way he did, his words were entirely honest. Not that anyone would suspect he meant something other than moving out.
"Oh, yeah." Caroline countered, a smile still on her lips, "A big difference." She was completely and utterly teasing, amused by Ed's humor. It seemed to come easily to him though Caroline hadn't a clue how wrong she was in his usual disposition. His suicidal nature was still unbeknownst to her. Her comment on no one being miserable, however, did seem to have struck a cord. Caroline didn't linger on it or even bring it up once more, but she did note the way he rubbed the back of his neck. It was a habit, she presumed and let it go as that. Upon hearing his notion of leaving, Caroline didn't take all that much notice in the way of suicidal thoughts. Instead, she saw it much more as a simple observation in the line of future events. Maybe he was going off to college soon or finally scraping up enough money to move out. That made her think of something. "Well, I would say that." She stated in reply to him being the perfect big brother. Soon, she switched over to what it was she had wanted to say, "Hey, how old are you anyways, Eddie?" He'd said he was the oldest so Caroline was curious to what that entailed. Maybe he was older than her...
(view spoiler)"It is a big difference!" Ed protested, grinning. "I was worried about your sensibility. Never, not once, did I call you an idiot. Where on earth would you get that impression?" A soft laugh slipped between his lips, and he leaned back in his chair, somewhat relaxed. It couldn't hurt to get some happiness, some humor, in his life before it was over. Now that he'd gotten over the fact that she looked like Elodie, Ed was starting to notice the differences between Caroline and his deceased girlfriend. Mainly the eyes, those were what brought Ed back to reality, realizing it wasn't Elodie, in fact, it was Caroline. While Elodie had had eyes of a piercing violet color, Caroline's were blue, and just as beautiful... Shaking his head to clear his mind, Ed thought about her next statement. "You're not everyone, now are you?" he teased, hoping to disguise the fact that he'd lost himself in thought. Ed was far from a perfect big brother; if he were that, he wouldn't be trying to kill himself. "Seventeen," he added about her question of age. "You?"
(view spoiler)Caroline's shoulders went up in a shrug as Ed asked him his first question. "I don't know. I just kind of... picked it up." She said in reply to the impression she had gotten. "And you don't have to worry about my sensibility. I promise I have at least some." She smiled incredibly wide, laughing to his next comment, "No, but I should be. I'm sure the world would be amazing if I was everyone." That same smile was still there as she continued on, "No wars, world peace... Yeah, the world would be just about perfect." Caroline was joking, of course. There was no doubt in her mind that everyone else having her opinion would be an awful idea. Cat fights would break out everywhere, she was sure of it. "But, hey, what do you know? I'm seventeen too." A piece of her blonde hair had fallen in front of her face and she lifted a hand to push it back, not agitated by it at all. "Must have been fate that we met then. Two seventeen year old orphans fated to meet at the library. The world works in mysterious ways, I tell you."
(view spoiler)Ed chuckled, shaking his head teasingly. "Oh, silly girl, you have to have gotten it from somewhere," he joked, a grin on his lips. For once, it wasn't hard to fake a smile, and he doubted it was fake, almost, if he were honest. Ed was enjoying himself, if only slightly, for the first time in what seemed like forever. Feigning relief, Ed breathed a soft sigh. "At least some, well, that's reassuring to know. Yo! Everyone!" The word 'yo' sounded odd coming from him, considering his proper British accent. "Caroline has at least some sensibility!" His last statement was said in a mock yell, at the same volume as his last words but with enough force behind them that he could have been yelling. A laugh slipped between his lips, this one not even forced. Ed really was enjoying himself... "Except for the fact that the world would be all girls." A world of all girls... Hell, that'd be horrifying, so many cat fights, so many problems, though Ed went along with it. "Though there wouldn't be wars, so it would be decent, I suppose." He shrugged his plaid shirt clad shoulders, though it was clear he disagreed. "Sounds like something for a book, to me," he offered simply. "Just throw in a plot line of some interest and you have quite a story there."
(view spoiler)
(view spoiler)"I got it from you!" Caroline replied, her voice raising in octave. However, she soon started to giggle helplessly before she could get another word in. Though she tended to have fun with most of her days, it was somewhat rare that Caroline received this much joy just from a simple conversation. Usually, it was like a one way street, with Caroline talking a storm while the other person sat back trying to deceiver what it was the blonde girl had just said. It also didn't help that Caroline tended to jump topics every five seconds, but Ed seemed to be keeping up. In fact, it seemed he was managing this conversation just fine. This was especially shown when he gave a mock-yell to the folks around them. Caroline covered her mouth with her hands to keep from laughing out of control but it was obvious that she couldn't take it. Soon enough, she just laughed freely, not caring how loud it was. To the next topic, she smiled wide and countered with, "Oh? Is there something wrong with all girls? Wow, Eddie, I never knew you were so sexist." She shook her head and crossed her arms though her eyes gave away her completely joking manner. "Well, we are in a library." Caroline pointed out in correspondence to the book comment, "That just proves it right there. Fate - we were fated to meet, I tell you!"
(view spoiler)"That's interesting," Ed teased, laughing slightly. "Because I never gave the impression that I thought you an idiot. Not once. It's an absurd idea." Normally Ed didn't have this much fun, but he was enjoying himself. Hey, if his life was gonna end soon, he might as well enjoy his last few weeks, right? By now he pretty much had it all figured out; how to do it, when, and where. It would be simple, really. Right then, Ed wasn't thinking about any of that, though. He was simply enjoying himself for one of the first times in what seemed like forever. He wasn't put off at all by Caroline's rapid subject switches, or constant laughing. In fact, it made him smile, which was an accomplishment if it wasn't forced. "I'm a guy," Ed said with a shrug. "Naturally, I wouldn't want the world to be all girls. It's a natural thing, Carrie. The same way you wouldn't want to live in a world of all guys, would you?" Ed arched an eyebrow in question, though he was laughing, despite his best efforts to hide it. Ed's real happiness was always impossible to hide as it was so different than his normal demeanor. "I suppose it does," Ed agreed, a smile on his face. "Fate, huh?"
(view spoiler)
"Right." Caroline countered, drawing out the 'I' sound, "I'm sure you didn't." This was a lot of fun for her and, judging by the way Ed was going about it, it was for him too. She was immensely glad for this. Though he'd already told her he wasn't annoyed by her presence, Caroline still wanted to make sure she was making this experience as enjoyable for him as possible. Her coming over to talk to him seemed to have done the both of them some good. It gave her someone to talk to and let him be distracted by the things he'd been concentrated on before. "Oh, I don't know about that." Caroline said in relation to the comment on living in a world full of guys. "Hate to break it to you, but I think I'd be in heaven if I lived in a world packed full of guys." She laughed as well, smiling wide at his nickname for her. No one had ever called her Carrie before but she couldn't deny that she kind of liked it. It sounded lighter than Caroline. "Definitely fate. There's no doubt in my mind that it's fate."
(view spoiler)
"I didn't!" Ed insisted with a grin. He was rather enjoying this, playful banter with someone. He often found himself doing that with Angel, but her lungs didn't allow it to last long; anything other than conversation often had her coughing horribly the rest of the night. Those always turned out sleepless for Ed, though he didn't mind. Angel might as well have been his little sister, as much as he cared about her. He'd do anything for her, though sometimes he wished she could laugh more, for her sake. Laughs added years to a person's life, and Angel could use with a few extra years. "You'd get sick of it," Ed promised. "They'd all be fighting over you, trust me. Plus, there wouldn't be any girls for you to do... whatever it is that girls do in their free time." Ed laughed softly, stretching back in his chair. He noted that she seemed to like the nickname Carrie for herself, so he figured he'd stick with it. "Is there? I can tell."
(view spoiler)"You didn't? Are you sure?" Caroline matched his grin, quite enjoying herself as well. Back at her house, Caroline didn't really have many people to have these kind of conversations with. Sure, there was Valerie, but she tended to be really bad at this sort of thing. She was more of an awkward, shy soul than anything. However, bantering this way with Ed was really fun. Caroline was having a lot of fun just having a conversation like this without concerning herself with how the other person would take her. She just didn't like to bug people and make them feel bad. "I don't know. Six billion guys fighting over me? Sounds like paradise in my opinion." She smiled at this, laughing again. "Oh, yeah, it's definitely fate. I can tell. I'm psychic, you know?" Caroline was completely and utterly joking, but it was fun to kid around. Who knows, maybe he'd actually believe her.
(view spoiler) "I'm quite sure that I am aware of what my intentions were better than you do," Ed said with a laugh, raking his fingers through his hair. Though Ed never really got to banter like this, not with anyone. Sure, he had the other kids at the orphanage, but they were either four years old, or obnoxiously arrogant ten year old boys. Angel was his favorite by far, and her disability didn't bother Ed in the slightest. He'd always love her more than he could ever like the other kids there. She was sweet, sort of like Caroline, actually. Just less... happy, actually. Caroline was happy, it seemed. Angel, she was content. Working on happiness, though Ed knew she'd never be happy, which hurt his heart. And Ed's heart didn't need any more pain than it already had. "Paradise? It'd get very annoying after a while. Just imagine having to pick one, hmm?" Ed asked with a grin, glancing at his watch after a moment, sighing softly. "Psychic, sure." He agreed with a sarcastic roll of his eyes, closing his notebooks. "I should get rolling, actually. Angel is gonna wonder where I've been..." Ed didn't really want to leave Caroline, so he figured he'd give her the option to come. "I guess you could..." he rubbed the back of his neck, dropping his gaze to the floor absently. "Come, if you like..."
