Goodreads Giveaway! This book is like candy and will rot your brain.

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Goodreads Giveaway from July 1 to July 31.

The Life and Times of Car Johnson is a memoir about a man who doesn't exist, written by a woman who may or may not exist, according to certain philosophies.


Car may not be a secret agent, or a mythical beast cast down to earth to save the world, but he has his own brand of adventure. Car’s the kind of man who hangs around a bar, insulting passerby while neglecting to realize he forgot his pants. He’s rude, crude and… someone who thinks you can catch bees while wearing a bee costume.

With a little help from his less than conventional family--including a motorcycling grandma and a sister who wants him dead but can't quite figure out that you can't burn someone to death with a pocket magnifying glass--Car tries to make a name for himself and find a girl as unique as he is, even if it means going on a date with someone who wants him to bury him alive.

The Life and Times of Car Johnson is an insane romp through the mind of a man who doesn't realize just how pathetic he really is. Come on a journey as Car travels the road of life, backwards and with his trusty cow fetus collection, while you ask yourself how anyone could ever think that making a home tanning kit with a flamethrower was a good idea.

Insanity never tasted so hilarious. Now available in mint!*

*Mint not actually included.

*Car bears no resemblance to any person, living or dead. The opinions expressed by Car are not the opinions of any person, living or dead.


Warning:

Car Johnson is not for the weak of heart, or stomach or spleen. It is not for people who do not like satire, silly comedy or crude jerk characters. Most of the opinions of Mr. Johnson are the exact opposite of any sane person, including the author. This book mentions chemicals known by the state of California to cause cancer.