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message 1: by P.D.R. (last edited Jun 07, 2013 03:31PM) (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments Come on, all you great readers, help a poor, brain dead writer find a good title.

My colleagues at Writer's Choice have declared that my title 'Flat Beer and Stale Cake?' is totally reader off putting.

They have come up with he following list of 6:

Slow Death on A Country Farm

Strangling Kin Folk

For Love of Agnes

Family Games

Cruel Deceptions

Dishonorable Intentions

Please, please tell me which you readers find the most likely title to make you pull the book off the shelf.


message 2: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Probably Slow Death on a Country Farm, because it suggests an interesting rural setting. But its not good because country and farm have too-similar meanings - you'd be better to use one or the other but not both words. So Slow Death in the Country, or Slow Death on the Farm.
But they're all a bit depressing sounding. I don't want to read a book to get depressed. Definitely not the flat beer one though. Even "For Love of Agnes" manages to sound a bit depressing as if it being said in the same tone we use to say, "For love of Pete" to express frustration. None of them really jumps out to say, "Read me!" And some of them are downright unoriginal, like Family Games, Dishonourable Intentions and Cruel Deceptions.
If it were me, I'd start afresh and think as laterally as possible.
I can't suggest, not knowing the story, but couldn't you seek something that intrigues rather than depresses?


message 3: by Chris (new)

Chris Nielsen | 0 comments I agree. I find none of those appealing. Now if it was something like Five Ways to Kill a Cousin then I would be right in :-)


message 4: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments I like the alliteration there too Chris, "Kill a Cousin"
I was thinking about "Killing the Kin" or maybe "Kin Killing" But hard if you don't know the content.


message 5: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Kin Killer would be a useful one to remember if you were a poet wanting a rhyme with chinchilla.


message 6: by Angie (new)

Angie (seren-lucy) | 1147 comments I think Flat Beer and Stale Cake is the best. We never seem to have either at our house!!


message 7: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments No, ours doesn't get much chance to go flat or stale either. Maybe P.d.r could call the book Fizzy Beer and Fresh Cake? That's a bit more uplifting.


message 8: by P.D.R. (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments Have come up with this lot so far.

The Helot
A Milk Maid's Tale
The Family Chattel
Even the Cows Had It Better
Sister Chattel, Daughter Slave
The Three Pegged Stool
Slow Death on A Country Farm
Strangling Kin Folk
For Love of Agnes
Family Games
Cruel Deceptions
Dishonorable Intentions
Power Play
Family Matters

I am good at finding other people's titles but never my own!

It's not an easy read book and whilst not depressing is about a serious subject.

Sigh
p.d.r.


message 9: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments The one that stands out to me as being intriguing from all these is The Three Pegged Stool. Next would be Sister Chattel, Daughter Slave.
Even the Cows etc sounds like a comedy.


message 10: by Angie (new)

Angie (seren-lucy) | 1147 comments I like the cow one. Don't know if it needs the word 'even' though.


message 11: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Likewise, if you went for Three Pegged Stool it would be better without 'the' because of the awkward alliteration of 'The Three'


message 12: by Kathleen (new)

Kathleen Dixon (kiwikathleen) | 1467 comments There are two titles there that would make me want to look further at the book. They're "For Love of Agnes" and "Even the Cows had it Better".


message 13: by Sweetp-1 (new)

Sweetp-1 | 402 comments Family Games
Cruel Deceptions
Dishonorable Intentions
Power Play
Family Matters

These ones sound like some mystery/action book and a quick search of just a couple of them gives me books with these titles already. They're all a bit generic sounding IMO

"The Cows had it better" is different and intriguing. Sister Chattel, Daughter Slave would also probably catch my eye


message 14: by P.D.R. (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments Thank you, everyone. You've been most helpful. Would you mind casting an eye over this lot which my Writer's Choice colleagues have come up with? It does help to have other minds and views.

The Dairy Maid

The Good Dairy Maid

The Stairs

Stairways

Deadly Deceptions

Stones Wept

And All The Animals Wept

The Cruelest Beast

God Looked Elsewhere

Good Deeds Punished

With an inside cover quote:

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." Sir Walter Scott, 1806 (? date).

Deadly Web

Tangled Web


message 15: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments I liked Deadly Deceptions until I Googled it and found 16 others with this title already.
Also 16 Tangled Webs which was my next choice.
Stones Wept made me see Stone Swept.
The Stairway connection looks promising but needs to be made more intriguing than what you've got.
"Tangled Stairs" has not been taken yet. Or play around with the rhyme of tangle and strangle perhaps.


message 16: by Angie (new)

Angie (seren-lucy) | 1147 comments I like And All the Animals Wept. Does it need And though?


message 17: by P.D.R. (last edited Jun 12, 2013 02:12AM) (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments Marvellous help, thank you.

Seems I'm going to have to sleep on all your suggestions and try and force my back brain to put it all together. It is a literary novel, according to all my Betas, so the title can't sound as if it might be pop fic! Isn't a writer's lot a pain? Well, sometimes!


message 18: by Kathleen (new)

Kathleen Dixon (kiwikathleen) | 1467 comments A tardy comment - I rather like "God looked Elsewhere"


message 19: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments You could be onto something with that one Kathleen. I think I might agree.


message 20: by P.D.R. (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments That is a stunning title, but the novel is set in 1887 and Tizzie is a good God fearing lass! How would the title fit when it isn't God who has deserted her but her family? DO you think it would give the reader a wrong impression?

I'm making a fuss because I think this is a great title and really want to use it!


message 21: by Tui (last edited Jun 12, 2013 02:52PM) (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments then perhaps re-phrase the title as a question. "Did God Look Elsewhere?"


message 22: by Tui (last edited Jun 12, 2013 02:53PM) (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Or, "Where was God Looking?"


message 23: by Tui (last edited Jun 12, 2013 02:56PM) (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Or "Where did God Look?" Or even something like, "When Will God Look this way?"
It might be a Why question also. "Why does God Look elsewhere" There could be haps of variations.
"How Could God Look Away?"


message 24: by P.D.R. (last edited Jun 12, 2013 02:56PM) (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments Ah ha!That might do the trick. A virtual magnum of Champagne, enormous bouquet of exotic flowers and a kilo of the best hand made chocolate truffles to Tui and Kathleen. Thank you. I think that might please my colleagues.


message 25: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Our pleasure P.d.r.


message 26: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments This champagne is delicious! Clink clink. Cheers! Kathleen, can I pass you a truffle?


message 27: by Kathleen (new)

Kathleen Dixon (kiwikathleen) | 1467 comments I missed all the fun this morning! Enjoying the truffle & champagne, and the flowers are gorgeous!!!


message 28: by Tui (last edited Jun 13, 2013 02:13PM) (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Sho pleashed you finally arrived to help ush drink it Kathleen. A magnum holdsh an awful lot. Bit tipshy by now.


message 29: by Kathleen (new)

Kathleen Dixon (kiwikathleen) | 1467 comments I would not want the two of you to have to manage all on your own (she says, enunciating carefully in an attempt to fool the general populace that she can hold her liquour - BLK friends, of course, are unconnable).


message 30: by P.D.R. (new)

P.D.R. Lindsay (pdrlindsay) | 1636 comments Glad you are enjoying the goodies. I have to warn you though that my Writer's Choice colleagues want me to use 'To Kill with Kindness' - A Shakespearean quote - and are exerting their co-operative pressure.


message 31: by Tui (new)

Tui Allen (tuibird) | 282 comments Dang! Hic!


message 32: by Kathleen (new)

Kathleen Dixon (kiwikathleen) | 1467 comments Ah well - there's no accounting for taste.


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