Writer's Paradise discussion

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Will you guys rate my horrible mini poems?

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message 1: by Daisy (last edited Apr 25, 2009 08:00PM) (new)

Daisy | 1803 comments Please? It's for my book project and I need help!!!

Alone in the attic a third child sits, unknown to the world that he exists. Out for freedom he sets off to find leaving his attic home behind.



In the stables a small person sits their little heart chopped to bits. Feeling worthless a stable hand, being promoted is quite grand.


In the forest they all run never knowing what to find, leaving all thoughts of danger far behind.


‘Freedom’ is written on the brick wall. No more Poppies for they all fall.


World domination! The world is at hand control it you do and watch what you say because third children might take over in May.




message 2: by Wendy (new)

Wendy (wendyswore) I like the Forest one the best!


message 3: by Snowsong (new)

Snowsong (kdskid007) I like them all, but the forest one is pretty good, and I like the last one too. Third children reminds me of the series The Shadow Children.


message 4: by Anuhea (new)

Anuhea (anuhearamsey) I like the Freedom one the most!!!


message 5: by Jess (new)

Jess J | 129 comments I like the first one and the third one!


message 6: by Daisy (new)

Daisy | 1803 comments Snowsong wrote: "I like them all, but the forest one is pretty good, and I like the last one too. Third children reminds me of the series The Shadow Children."

it's supposed to I'm doing a game board on the last book.





message 7: by Anuhea (new)

Anuhea (anuhearamsey) ......


message 8: by Daisy (new)

Daisy | 1803 comments Okay so no one thinks they are absolutely horrible?


message 9: by Snowsong (new)

Snowsong (kdskid007) nope, they're pretty good ^^


message 10: by Daisy (new)

Daisy | 1803 comments YAY!!


message 11: by Anuhea (new)

Anuhea (anuhearamsey) They're the best!!

(that's a fact. If you saw my lame ones, you'd understand why...)


message 12: by Simon (new)

Simon Am I missing something with the "third" child, is it something from a book? I don't like labels especially ones that set some sort of chronological order for an individual. I feel cheated, I want more than just one line. Never quite got into Haiku and such. But I like what I felt when I read them.


message 13: by Anuhea (new)

Anuhea (anuhearamsey) I love writing Haiku! It challenges the brain!


message 14: by Snowsong (new)

Snowsong (kdskid007) yeah, the thrid child thing is from Margaret Haddix's Shadow Children series. The main idea with those books is that the world's overpopulated and the govt has outlawed having more than two kids, to reduce the number. Third children exist anyway, and so they have to stay hidden.


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