Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

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Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 169 (June 2 - June 9). Poems. Topic: Raven.

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message 1: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments You have until end of day June 2nd to post a poem, and between June 10th to end of day June 16th we’ll vote for which one we enjoyed the most.

Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don’t use a poem previously used in this group.

Your poem may be any length.

This week’s topic is: Raven.

The rules are pretty loose. Write a poem about anything that has to do with the topic. We do not care, but the poem you post is to relate to the topic somehow, even if very loosely.

Above all, have fun!


message 2: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (Doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments What? Alex, I thought we were doing crow.


message 3: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (Doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Just makes me think of Poe. Blech.


message 4: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments Wow, Hannah! There's way more to the raven than that.
In Aboriginal mythology the raven is a trickster character that helped give man fire and may have had something to do with the creation of the earth.


message 5: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (Doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments I think I should start appreciating the raven more. Lol. I really hope I can get creative this week. I miss participating. :(


message 6: by M (new)

M | 10845 comments Did someone blech Poe? (Hi, Hanzle!)


message 7: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (Doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Hi, M! :D Yeah, don't like Poe much.


message 8: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments LoL! Hanz, I don't much either!


message 9: by M (new)

M | 10845 comments I just try to be poe-lite.


message 10: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments aww, I like Poe... It is hard to think of much else when a poetry contest is Raven-themed...


message 11: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I can see how Poe would not suit your tastes though Hanzle...


message 12: by M (last edited Jun 02, 2013 06:44PM) (new)

M | 10845 comments Facsimile of Poe’s Rough Draft of “The Raven”


A Dark and Stormy Night
It Happened After The Masquerade
The Crow That Talked
The One Corbie

The Raven

Once upon a time,
in a sultan’s harem
on a South Sea island
in a stifling New York flat
at my mother's house,

on
a bleary midnight
midnight dreary
in my upstairs apartment
as I sat and wondered
weak and weary,
pondered,
over forgotten lore
Michael Wigglesworth, for instance

While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly somebody blew my door down
suddenly I fell asleep and had a terrible dream

suddenly there came a tapping,

It was Morse Code
It was not Morse Code
It was Lenore, a woman of ill repute I had met in Boston
at my door
(revise to line w/ trochaic tetrameter into.)


Ah, distinctly I remember,
it was on July 31 at 3:00
it was on January 15 at 4:45
it was an unseasonably balmy December
bleak
remember
dismember

ember

And each separate dying ember
wrought its ghost upon the ceiling
the wall
somewhere


Eagerly I wished to borrow
money at the bank tomorrow
to burn the house down and collect the insurance
not to awaken hung over;--

vainly had I sought to borrow

From the bank
From Lenore

From my books surcease of sorrow

--sorrow for the lost Patricia
Ellen
Lula Mae

Helen

Helen, thy beauty is to me
Like London on a starry night
London on a cloudy night
Pine trees
the Parthenon
Aegean wine ships

those Nicean barks of yore,
Nameless in Greece
in Rome
in Boston

here, for ever more.


message 13: by M (new)

M | 10845 comments Belly, I couldn’t resist! This is a parody I wrote years ago, when I was in graduate school, for an irreverent pamphlet called The Carroll Science Monitor.


message 14: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments very intriguing style M!


message 15: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments LOL! M, that was RotF hilarious.

Belly yours was the clear sip of cool water after a heavy meal. Delightful.


message 16: by M (last edited Jun 03, 2013 04:09AM) (new)

M | 10845 comments Thank you, Kristen! (I think.)

Belly, I’m just now reading your “the cask of amontillado.” Sherry has an intoxicating effect on anyone who makes her acquaintance!


message 17: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments not raven...... :(

will try.

M, hahahahahaha!


message 18: by M (new)

M | 10845 comments Jim, thank you! That’s precisely the response I hoped the poem would elicit.


message 19: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments Jim, the link to the topic can take any form. For example, there is nothing stopping you from writing about C.Raven who is a raving lunatic. Hmmmm. Maybe that's what I'll write about.


message 20: by M (new)

M | 10845 comments I’m glad you enjoyed it!


Christa - Ron Paul 2016 (christa-ronpaul2012) | 1365 comments M that was brilliant! Loved it. I laughed so loud.


message 22: by M (new)

M | 10845 comments Thank you, Christa!


message 23: by Rikki (new)

Rikki | 45 comments Writing desk

Quoth the raven nothing more
Nothing but that foul black bird
Assisted the dragon in killing the prince
The evil queen with the poison fruit
Then taps does the raven on the window pane
Tap tap taping
Won't writer let her in?

False are your thoughts now
The poison fruit
Poisoned itself
Ate away the dragon
The queen

The snowflake lives
Prince wakes the sleeping
With only a kiss
Says the writer
Tap tap tapping

On the desk within the ink
Lay the shapes
The shapes the writer makes
At the desk
Tap tap tapping

Does the raven
On the window pain
Writer, open the window
Maybe the raven will tell
Why she is like that writing desk.


message 24: by Ajay (last edited Jun 05, 2013 09:30AM) (new)

Ajay (ajay_n) | 1135 comments Perfectly dark to start my day, Alex! I read it aloud several times, loved it. What style!

Love this line-'him sprawled there like a rag doll
while she inked her art'!

Mine's some kind of a half-baked rant. Open for critique.

On Mr. Raven, Cosco Balls, Gliders & Coral Reefs


Not all of nature's binoculars are born with black corsets.
But the one who did, sports rounded beaks and spunky feathers.
As to who cut 'em this way & forged him in which cave is copyrighted legend.

His industrious journal entry skills could have impregnated the book inside his head.
It could be growing at a certain exponential rate, its table of contents containing*:

the mergers and acquisitions of the forest,
the sound of a radical's birth,
the juggling of dew drops between green laps (scored by the breeze),
the antonyms of soot and root and their relativity,
the chatter between butterflies and beet leafhoppers.

On rainy nights he uses his indifference as an umbrella to take stock of each dead firefly.
The clatter of thunder against wood, his notion of a wet dream.
The sap that seeps from a dying trunk, his potion for a good night's sleep.

Oh, does he sleep?
Yes, only when he's not listening to nature's version of Metallica, the wood chuck/peck (ers).

He'd even sighted Cosco balls amalgamating with quick sand. He didn't get a kick out of it,
so took flight to attend a conference with the foxes to hatch algorithms for eating flesh.

The one sight that fetched him some kick also fetched him dinner.
By chance, a glider hadn’t glided well enough to glide over the trees but through them.
He’d landed atop a branch, breaking and suspending it over a live river.

After chewing the last bits of flesh in him,
Mr. Raven couldn’t help notice how this glider’s broken bones
Had offered some kind of a shade to the coral reef below.
They looked like mirror images, swimming in their own seas.

It disturbed his peace, so he flew back to his designated branch.

At a distance, a bunch of flowers held their peace.
He focused hard to understand their language, to mock ‘em.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't crack their grammar. It hit him then.
Not all of nature's binoculars are born with black corsets.

-Ajay

*inclusive but not limited to


message 25: by Caitlan (last edited Jun 04, 2013 08:54PM) (new)

Caitlan (lyonessrampant) | 2867 comments Everyone, you've got such great poems!


M, yours made me laugh so hard! I love it.

Belly, you are just brilliant.

Rikki, love the imagery!

Al, haha, I think it sounds better with the words you had to replace.

Ajay, again, your poetry always takes my breath away.

I don't think I'll be able to compete will all of your lovely poems, but I'll try anyway.


Christa - Ron Paul 2016 (christa-ronpaul2012) | 1365 comments Again another long one, but I just could not end it. I might even put more verses in later about another adventure the Raven and her King experienced.


The Kings Raven

I have a simple song to sing,
About a little blackbird and her king.
He found her lying out in the rain,
And took to caring for her day by day.

Pray listen as I tell,
About how this little bird had a bell.
She rang this bell both day and night,
She was the kings sole delight.

One day this bird fell lame.
To ring the bell was maimed.
The king hastened to the doctor,
Who without prompt, quickly shot her.

The king he was not at all please,
"Guard this man before you seize!"
But just before they could get him,
He revealed he was a powerful magician.

"Stay back and watch" he told them sternly,
And then produced the birdie.
Much changed and alter to be sure.
But no longer having time to endure.

A raven was she now.
As dark as any storm cloud.
With the bell at her neck all the tighter,
But the King loved her far the mightier.

The magician was greatly rewarded,
He kept his life and even more.
He was given a palace and much gold,
And all abroad his story was told.

The king fell deathly ill one day,
He was not thought to live this way.
He died and with his final breath,
Commanded the bird be always kept.

The bird sat near not uttering a sound,
But she could not outlive the crown.
And so when at last he was laid to deserved rest
The loyal raven was placed at his breast.


message 27: by Ajay (new)

Ajay (ajay_n) | 1135 comments :) Thank you, Kat and Alex! Alex, I disagree.


message 28: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments It's very fun Christa, like a child's fairy tale. Let me just suggest you go back through and double check some punctuation and verb tenses. There were a couple places that seemed weird to me...But I really like it!


Christa - Ron Paul 2016 (christa-ronpaul2012) | 1365 comments I will thanks Kristen.


message 30: by Jim (last edited Jul 14, 2013 08:19AM) (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments here's my try...

-o-

Half a Song on a Continent with No Ravens, Just Pied Crows.....

sorry, deleted so i can submit somewhere... if you want to read it i can email you a copy. :)


message 31: by Ajay (new)

Ajay (ajay_n) | 1135 comments Facsimile of Poe’s Rough Draft of “The Raven” is downright funny, M! Humor is probably the toughest nut to crack, but you make it look so easy.

the cask of amontillado is yet another wonderful example of the power of economy. Your trademark wit is priceless, Belly!

The placement of images is what I like best in the 'Writing desk'. It has a smooth flow and the repetitions are very effective. The penultimate stanza is my favorite. Very well done, Rikki!

I've always loved tales and I always will. The King's Raven is a fun little story, Christa!

Half a Song on a Continent with No Ravens, Just Pied Crows is sharp both in form and thought. It also throws in insights into the bird's anatomy and character. This is done with much clarity. I've always loved how your titles play a crucial role in your poems, Jim! And this poem is no exception. I take much inspiration from your work.

Kat, where is your poem?! I read it but couldn't comment right away. I am hoping you'd post it again.


message 32: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lyonessrampant) | 2867 comments Haha, guys, no worries. I just took it down so I could edit it. Though, I didn't make any changes. Oh well.


siren's abyss
by Kat


your metallic voice drips off your tongue,
acid burning through my paper skin.
a siren song drifts though my mind;
i am a ship crafted from the daily news
being pulled in by your gravity,
sinking your raven colored abyss-eyes
and crashing into your rocky shores.


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

Kat! you're alive :))


message 34: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lyonessrampant) | 2867 comments I am, I am! LOL.


message 35: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments thanks, Ajay and Belly. Anything I post is open for critique.

sorry I'm still just popping in. I really like the vibrancy of this place.


message 36: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments Jim are you Canadian? LoL! There is no need to apologize for 'popping' in. A quick visit is still a visit, and we'll embrace you just the same.

I like the vibrancy here, too, and am a terribly active popper-inner.

Hello Kat! So nice to see you alive! Still at the nine-live stage of life too, I expect and hope.


message 37: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments Guy wrote: "Jim are you Canadian? LoL! There is no need to apologize for 'popping' in. A quick visit is still a visit, and we'll embrace you just the same.

I like the vibrancy here, too, and am a terribly act..."


my wife is Canadian. our kids are African. I'm just an alien in flimsy earthling clothes


message 38: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments LoL! Yes! You ARE Canadian then!


message 39: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments how does someone born in southeast asia become canadian? by osmosis?


message 40: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments illegal recruiter?


message 41: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments Yes, that is possible Jim, given your wife's nationality.

Maybe I do that to people I like? Hmmmm. LoL! But then, maybe you don't want to be liked by me, in which case I proffer you my apology? LoL!

I think it has something to do with feeling like you are an alien or out of place even while at some part inside you have a sense of self or voice that is quite strong. I don't know. Too early to think about this sort of stuff.

Good morning Al! Now all we have to do is find out what kind of music Jim likes to confirm my observation.


message 42: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments See! You have here formally admitted your Canadianness! LoL!


message 43: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments Bjork, Cesaria Evora, Nina Simone, Massive Attack, Portishead, Iron and Wine, Sufjan Stevens, Joey Ayala, Kitaro, Stephan Micus, Radiohead, Tom McRae, Ismael Lo, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Eddie Vedder, Pearljam, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Louis Armstrong, Marta Sebestyen, Preisner, REM, Peter Gabriel, TLC (just the Fanmail album),... the list is endless


message 44: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments reply to Guy's message 50


message 45: by Ajay (new)

Ajay (ajay_n) | 1135 comments Kat wrote: "Haha, guys, no worries. I just took it down so I could edit it. Though, I didn't make any changes. Oh well.


siren's abyss
by Kat


your metallic voice drips off your tongue,
acid burning through ..."


I love it, Kat! A refreshing blend of ideas and word choice. As always, the writing is brilliant and original. Great lines all along, thanks for re-posting!


message 46: by Jim (new)

Jim Agustin (jim_pascual_agustin) | 625 comments hahahaha, Belly!


message 47: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lyonessrampant) | 2867 comments Thanks, Ajay.


message 48: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments Another week, the 169th, is done.

Go vote!

Stories;

Stuffage.


message 49: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lyonessrampant) | 2867 comments Bahahahahahah!


message 50: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11080 comments Just barely. He missed Alanis Morissette, Jill Barber and Jenn Grant.


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