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Fantasy > Crown of Thorns Prologue and Chapters 1-4

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message 1: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Hi all. I've hit a small stumbling block with this novel I'm writing. I'm drawing a blank for a title. Any ideas more than welcome.
This extract might help. I'm stuck. Thanks in advance, much appreciated.

https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/...


message 2: by Anthony (new)

Anthony Cardenas (aecardenas) | 44 comments Actually an overall story synopsis or the book description might help more than the excerpt, which is a little too specific. I can't really tell what the book is about or who the main players are in the overall story to offer any suggestions.


message 3: by Lee (new)

Lee Parker | 19 comments Hey Robert, do you have a synopsis? It may help, this not my genre but I do read a lot of fantasy books. Robert Jordan is one of my favorite authors. It's hard to come up with a title without an idea of the scope of the story.
Just a thought.


message 4: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Cool guys. Thanks. Will write one up and try to be concise. :D


message 5: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Thanks for the suggestions guys. I actually think I'm going to take it down. Drawing some sarcasm that's bordering on unfriendly. Again, thanks for the help. Much appreciated.


message 6: by Lee (new)

Lee Parker | 19 comments Not cool, but also not representative of the community here.
Good luck.


message 7: by R.A. (new)

R.A. White (rawhite) | 361 comments Ah, just ignore them. Maybe they didnt' even mean to come across that way...written words are up for lots of interpretation. Plenty of people here genuinely want to help you. Sometimes it IS painful, I know, but if it makes your book more awesome, isn't it worth it?


message 8: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Clough (brendaclough) | 361 comments I wrote an article for the SFWA Bulletin about titles. It is here: http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/the-theor...


message 9: by R.A. (new)

R.A. White (rawhite) | 361 comments Brenda wrote: "I wrote an article for the SFWA Bulletin about titles. It is here: http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/the-theor..."

That was great. Thanks for sharing.


message 10: by Kaine (new)

Kaine Andrews (kaineandrews) | 48 comments That article made my day, even though it didn't help me with my own titling issues any. XD Of course, now I'm sitting and reorganizing my own titles and trying to determine where I'd place them with such a system... OCD for the win!

As to the original poster and your plea, I'm in agreement with R.A. here; sometimes things may come across as sarcastic and snarky in a text-only medium that weren't really intended that way. The lack of inflection (when combined with an aversion to emoticons) can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings. Of course, it's also possible that they were becoming hostile... but realistically, there's always going to be someone who doesn't like something, and unless it's universal hatred I would take it with a grain of salt. If you're happy with your work, and think there's potential with it you should keep slogging onward. But that's just two cents coming from someone who takes a lot of flak for his own writing and suffers from more than one mental disorder, so that probably deserves its own grain of salt. XD

Lastly, on title: From the snippet you posted, two possibilities occurred to me, though both would really depend on where you're going with the story. Feast of Ravens (or Feast of the Ravens, or Raven's Feast or other variants thereof) came to mind, especially if the whole piece is going to be war aftermath-type scenes.

The second (also with variants) was Shadow of the Ram. Comes entirely, again, from the war theme present in the snippet, and the character's references to "ram heads" who seem to be the winners in the war. Unsure if ram heads and Urisk are the same thing, but Urisk makes me think more "bear" than '"ram," though it could be my eyes wanting to read it as "Ursik." If they are "bear like", Shadow of the Bear works. Or Under the Ram/Bear, Under the Shadow of the Bear/Ram, Ram's Shadow, Ram's Legion, etc, etc, etc.

Hopefully at least some of that was helpful, and apologies if I've gotten the tone entirely wrong, since all my suggestions stem from picturing either an "after the war hopeless fight" type of scenario or "few survivors under new evil regime" setup, which is what I got from your snippet. Good luck!


message 11: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Brenda wrote: "I wrote an article for the SFWA Bulletin about titles. It is here: http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/the-theor..."

I have to say thank you for that. Great resource.
Much appreciated.


message 12: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Kaine wrote: "That article made my day, even though it didn't help me with my own titling issues any. XD Of course, now I'm sitting and reorganizing my own titles and trying to determine where I'd place them wit..."

Hi Kaine. Thanks for the support and the detailed feedback. Urisk and ram 'ead are the same thing. Urisk come from Scottish mythology, being Scottish, I always had an interest in such stuff.
I'm going to post a more concise synopsis here in an effort to paint a clearer picture.
Great title suggestions. Much appreciated.


message 13: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Clough (brendaclough) | 361 comments My other advice for you is, before you fix on a title, put it into Google. You do not want to become wedded to a title and then discover that Raymond Feist had a best seller of the same title in 1985.
If a book is of a very different genre this is not so much of a problem. You can title your book GONE WITH THE WIND, if it is a textbook about hurricane safety innovations. But if it happens to be a novel about the Civil War, any editor with common sense will force you to change it.
I have a novel titled HOW LIKE A GOD; it is a quotation from HAMLET Act 4. The number of books with this title is quite large; luckily none of them are fantasy or SF.


message 14: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Brenda wrote: "My other advice for you is, before you fix on a title, put it into Google. You do not want to become wedded to a title and then discover that Raymond Feist had a best seller of the same title in 19..."

Thanks Brenda, I think I have one forming. Will post an update later with some new chapters and, hopefully, a working title. Much appreciated.


message 15: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Prologue and the first four chapters.
Enjoy.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...


message 16: by Lee (new)

Lee Parker | 19 comments Hey Robert, I just read what you posted and I have to say it's pretty good. There are areas I'd suggest you'd expand on, but that just may be a style thing. For me the first chapters are always the hardest and I always end up rewriting those once I get the flow going, but yours pull you in right away. I've been writing a fantasy trilogy for like 10 years - the first book is done, has been done but needs a final edit and polish. I got wrapped up in writing erotica and haven't had the push to finish it. I have to type the damn thing into a more friendly word processor and that sucker is long, but one of these days I'll do it and publish it under a different name :) hmmm maybe I could get you to sample a couple chapters and let me know what you think? It is not as dark as yours but it has it's moments.


message 17: by R.L. (new)

R.L. Robinson (robb_lucas) | 12 comments Lee wrote: "Hey Robert, I just read what you posted and I have to say it's pretty good. There are areas I'd suggest you'd expand on, but that just may be a style thing. For me the first chapters are always the..."

Hey Lee, thanks for the feedback. The story will expand on its own, these are more establishing chapters. All but one of the main characters has been introduced. After that, the action will move forward at a pace.


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