This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

47 views
An Apology To A Stranger

Comments Showing 1-47 of 47 (47 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Rusty (last edited Apr 15, 2009 04:30AM) (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments I apologize for being on the sidewalk. I apologize for not having precognitive abilities, which would have warned me that you wanted to ride the @$$ of the truck that I waved in at the parking lot entrance. I apologize for not appreciating the challenges that accompany your disability – congenital headinass syndrome. I apologize that you had to tap that pedal on the left. And I apologize that you felt like an idiot and refused to make eye contact – looking off in the distance at something which must have been quite fascinating.


message 2: by Kasia (new)

Kasia I hate underutilized intelligence! Some people should not be allowed behind the wheel!

And Rusty I've counted 5 apologies... That's 5 too many. The guy's an idiot, he should learn to live with it.


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

I wish that that guy would ride the @$$ of the guy who honked at me and they'd both get out and mash each other's faces into pulp.

I'm feeling sorta violent, lately.


message 4: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Welcome to the club Tambo.


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

I wish it would get sunny so I could drive my scooter. I hate driving, otherwise. Why does everyone have to be dicks?


message 6: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Oh, but it's sunny and warm over here, and it still doesn't help... Bummer. ...You drive a scooter, huh?


message 7: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Okay, besides the moron almost hitting me, what was really annoying was my reaction. I stopped where I was and glared (everything’s alright, so far), but then, instead of giving the driver the bird, I gave the thumbs up. It’s like in the movie Moving when Richard Pryor flips off his boss with his ring finger. This requires a little back story; my wife doesn’t like me to flip people off. It embarrasses her, and she thinks someone is going to shoot me one day, for doing it. So I give people the thumbs up instead of the middle finger (when my wife is around). That way, I still get to give a hand gesture, the wife is semi-happy, and I like to think people still know what I mean. But now it has become habit, and I’m doing it WHEN I'M ALONE.


message 8: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Rusty that's fucked up, man!!!


message 9: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Well aware.


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

I think the thumbs up is just fine, Rusty. It's ambiguous. The offender doesn't know if you're being sarcastic or not. It's perfect.

I hate when people honk when I'm in the car (unless we're about to be hit). I hate when Steve Mort reaches over and honks at someone when I'm driving, for example. It embarrasses me so much.


message 11: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Apr 15, 2009 09:10AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) The idea of replacing the middle finger with the thumbs up reminded me immediatley of this great Mr. Show sketch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqjBbp...

"Mother, father, Chinese denist!"


message 12: by Kasia (last edited Apr 15, 2009 09:15AM) (new)

Kasia Tambo you're wrong, it's not fine...

Rusty, you're sending people mixed signals: stern look + thumbs up??!!! If the guy's a total moron how can he grasp that? He might as well shit his pant from all the stress and confusion. You're putting way too much pressure on the dipshits!!!! Making them decipher what you meant... middle fingerm works best.


message 13: by [deleted user] (last edited Apr 15, 2009 09:16AM) (new)

I don't do middle finger (unless I'm joking). It makes me feel trashy. How about a thumbs down?

Yes, I have a scooter. A Yamaha Vino. I love it. But I'm a weather wuss, so I don't ride it unless it's sunny out.




Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) People should bring back biting their thumb at one another. Then you could go for the thumbs up fake out which smoothly transitions from a "good job!" to a "fuck you!"


message 15: by Kasia (last edited Apr 15, 2009 09:21AM) (new)

Kasia Anything but thumbs up, irony is just way too evolved...

Occasionally, in bad weather, I see hard core dudes on bikes - they just wear leather... Don't YOU like leather Tambo?


message 16: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Apr 15, 2009 09:21AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) Or just wear this all the time and point at it angrily when necessary:




message 17: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Tambolina, didn't you have an avatar the other day where you were doing the thumb-biting bit?


message 18: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments All hand gestures feel awkward. If I really need to get something across I'd rather just yell "fuck you! you stupid fuck!" but I usually don't. My husband is prone to road rage and it makes me really nervous.


message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

Yes! But, you know, I wouldn't actually do it TO someone. I don't feel comfortable with that. I feel about as threatening as a fluffy bunny, anyway. ;)


Servius  Heiner I think the thumb biting thing died out because well... Biting your thumb after you used the bathroom (10) times without washing your hands usually means your going to get sick... nobody wants to get sick just because they encountered a dumb ass.... to say nothing that they themselves are dumb asses for not practicing proper hygiene.


message 21: by [deleted user] (last edited Apr 15, 2009 01:43PM) (new)

It works best when you pair it with a little stink eye.




Servius  Heiner I dunno montambo you look a little ill in that picture... funny I always assumed you were a hand washer... I guess not.


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

I most assuredly am. And a foaming Purell abuser. Books are dirty and dusty and grimy. And possibly covered with meth residue.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "I think the thumb biting thing died out because well... Biting your thumb after you used the bathroom (10) times without washing your hands usually means your going to get sick... nobody wants to g..."

True, true. Also, people just look cooler whilst flipping the bird. Imagine all the rock star photoshoots replaced with thumb biting. The horror!




(He almost got it right...)

[image error]









Servius  Heiner Purell... you like that deceptively clean smell?

Book dust is the pits.. the wife is always complaining about it being in her eyes. then we have the 'spare' bedroom that is a little library, you cannot go in there with out the books sharing their dust with yer eyes... as a professional book person how do you keep book dust from your eyes?


Servius  Heiner I don't want to wear goggles every time I go in there to find a new book to read...


message 27: by [deleted user] (new)

Haha! I love hyperbole.

It gets absolutely black under my nails every day in the library. We used to have Purell stations around the school. That was heaven.


message 28: by Donitello (new)

Donitello I recently read that people's immune systems are becoming compromised due to overuse of hand sanitizers. Apparently, in our phobia of bacteria we are killing the ones that actually protect us, and also losing opportunities to fight the bad ones. Well, that's what I read, anyway.

Does anyone else find our Puritan heritage aggravating? Or is it just Canada-contaminated me?Because it does bug me, on SO many levels....


message 29: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Hand sanitizer? What is that?


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

[image error]

You just squeeze it on your hand and make hand washing movements and it sanitizes you and dries instantly.

I've heard that about it, Doni, but my hands get so dirty working with kids that I think I get plenty of bad germs and good germs in my system.


message 31: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Ugh Doni it totally bugs ME. I hate all the antibacterial advertising hype.


message 32: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Yes...if you work in a hospital or a school...you get different rules.


message 33: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Oh boy Tambocia... you thought I was serious?


message 34: by Donitello (new)

Donitello Gretchen wrote: "Yes...if you work in a hospital or a school...you get different rules."

Okay, please divulge these rules, please, thank you.




message 35: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments The rules are: if you work in a hospital you should wash your hands a lot. Hospitals are gross.

I've decided that NOT bathing my kids every night keeps them healthy. Don't try to convince me otherwise germfreaks!


Servius  Heiner OH! YOU'RE RAISING THE SMELLY KIDS!

There was always one kid in class that smelled in school, and I always wondered (yes even then) how that happened, being that I was forced to shower/bath every day. No I know it was parents like you that didn't hold personal hygiene very high on the things to do list... Finally after all these years I am in the know.


message 37: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments I've decided that NOT bathing my kids every night keeps them healthy. Don't try to convince me otherwise germfreaks!

Gretchen, your ideas are strange and wonderful to me (mostly because it's my week to bathe the kids). How do I convince my wife of the wisdom in your philosophy?



message 38: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Well, you can tell your wife that they never get sick. And that's pretty much true. They get the occasional cold but so far neither one of them has been anything like some of my friends' kids who are constantly getting pink-eye/ear infections/strep throat/croup/flu, ect. ect. ect. I have two friends with similar bathing schedules and their kids never get sick either. It works. BTW the magic is:
winter: twice a week
summer: twice a week for babies who don't play outside, 3-4 times a week for the older ones.

Nick, it won't work.


message 39: by [deleted user] (new)

Kasia wrote: "Oh boy Tambocia... you thought I was serious?"

Was "Hand Sanitizer? What is that?" a joke? Really?

That's not a funny joke.


message 40: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell It's probably funnier in Polish.


message 41: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments I imagine everything is.


message 42: by Kasia (new)

Kasia But! It was a little funny... Nobody gets me...
::crawls under the blanket and hugs her pillow::


message 43: by Donitello (new)

Donitello Welcome to my world, Kasia. Be happy, it's beautiful here....

Serv and Rusty, Gretchen is RIGHT and you are WRONG.


message 44: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Yes Gretchen is right, a little of germs never killed anybody. Now get on your knees and bow.


message 45: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Too many baths also ruin fun times. Example: tonight was supposed to be bath night but the weather has turned BEAUTIFUL and after dinner my daughter said "Daddy, would you like to all go on a walk as a family?!" in her princess-pitched and most irresistibly enthusiastic voice. If I was a freaky clean freak I would have been like "no time honey. Gotta get a bath in before bedtime." But i didn't. I went for a walk with my family and put my kids to bed dirty. I couldn't be happier about it.


message 46: by Kasia (new)

Kasia And this way when all the mud gets dry it crumbles off on it's own - no bath necessary and you save on your water bill. All happy.


message 47: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments very true. Plus kids hair has the superior ability to look more and more fantastic the dirtier it gets. Right after the washing it's all limp and lifeless but as the days go on it gets shiny and bouncy! If only MY hair were like that. Mine only looks good for the first 3-4 hours after my shower.


back to top