Sex lies and Bipolar discussion

Locus of Control - Whats your view?

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message 1: by Kit (new)

Kit Johnson (kit_johnson) | 17 comments Mod
The term Locus of Control - LOC – was propounded 60 years ago by Julian Rotter, and does not refer to Bipolar or even Mental Illness per se, but seeks to determine one’s approach to life for want of a better description
If you believe in fate and that life happens no matter what you have an ‘external’ LOC. If, like me, you believe life can be determined to some extent by your own efforts and decisions, you are said to have an ‘internal’ LOC. Of course there are shades in between these polarities, but it’s a good way of looking at one’s personal life credo.
My interest lies with what message this suggests on how each of us copes with our Bipolar. It would be fascinating to know if those with an ‘external’ disposition prefer to rely upon either meds and/or professional support, whereas those ‘internally’ focussed look to different remedies and more self-management. I have no idea – not a shred of empirical evidence, but it would be interesting to discover that’s for sure.
Again it has zip to do with Bipolar, but Rotter’s analysis suggests that women tend more towards the ‘external’ view – a reaction to societies predilection to define women by their appearance. It’s why plastic surgery is dominated by women as they seek ‘external’ solutions for loss of visual esteem through ageing, whereas men are more likely to show arrogance and see themselves as becoming more attractive as they age. I am not going to ground all this in statistics and research, but I have read compelling evidence that a majority older of men really do have a positive self image – no matter how big the pot belly or the double chin. Whereas it would appear women are more likely to see more faults than they actually have, and lose confidence. No wonder there are so many ‘dirty old men’ !!
All of this is interesting conjecture on my part, but it would be good to hear other views. If indeed there are such divisions then the link with Bipolar, or indeed other mental conditions, is not so fanciful. By link, I mean how each of us addresses our illness and how we decide to treat it.
For me I went through a period of why me and let it ‘happen’, and just went along with the prescribed meds and inevitable professional counselling that came with it. But my instincts are those of ‘internal’ LOC and when I took a self management approach, where I think I can influence what happens, my ability to deal with the condition went to a new level entirely.
As with so many things, there are the inevitable two sides – ying and yang. Funny that!

message 2: by Paul (new)

Paul Featherstone (fevrocks) | 2 comments Whether you have bipolar, or not. I think that our lives are partly governed by fate, but I think we do have the ability to sway our future, along a certain path. Just like, if you put a brick in front of a flowing stream, you could alter the path of the flow of water.

I quite like the idea of the multi-verses. It could be that our future are pre-determined, but just like a computer game, you can select to do something, to change the course of the game. I think life is like a game, and depending on our choices, is what denotes what happens to us in the future.

I think the idea of ying and yang, is that you cannot have one without the other. You have to live with both in harmony. A bit like love and hate, good and evil. They sort of go together. So in this case, you could have part of your life, which you have no control over, and another part, which you can sway the direction of it, to improve your life for the better, and to grow within yourself! Hope that makes sense! Regards Paul

message 3: by Kit (new)

Kit Johnson (kit_johnson) | 17 comments Mod
Hi Paul
You make a lot of sense. My view is that we are fated to go with the flow at a macro level - world events and all that - but that at a micro level we can influence things, like your flowing stream analogy. One thing's for sure just sitting there is no approach to surviving. You have to try - all the time.

message 4: by Paul (new)

Paul Featherstone (fevrocks) | 2 comments I agree Kit! Sometimes our lives are completely governed by our laws, or by society on a macro level, but on a micro level, we can make the odd changes, to improve our lives. Most of us have to work at it, unless you happen to be lucky enough to know someone high up, or be there at a certain point in time, which benefits us. You certainly have to try, for sure Kit. My belief is that anything worth having in life is always going to feel much harder to achieve, because we want it that much, and we are bound to be blocked by obstacles along the way. It is at times like this, that we have to step up to the mark, and fight for what we want. No one is just going to give us our dreams on a plate! Have a great Weekend! Regards Paul

message 5: by Diane (new)

Diane Horton | 8 comments Kit wrote: "The term Locus of Control - LOC – was propounded 60 years ago by Julian Rotter, and does not refer to Bipolar or even Mental Illness per se, but seeks to determine one’s approach to life for want ..."
Okay, this is completely unrelated...however I can't seem to muster the brain power to get to you on twitter, I am reading your book again, and you just kill me. My favorite part, I laugh so hard I cry, is the part where your Dad comes out of the house all pissed off and kicks the bucket of soapy water...OMG it doesn't matter how many times I read it. It's so refreshing to read about our illness with some levity. As distressing as life shattering it can be at times, it's wonderful to be able to laugh at the absurdity of our thoughts and behaviors when in the grip of a manic or hypomanic episode. I just recently accepted the fact that I truly am psychotic at times, when after being "on top of the world" and better faster, and much more brilliant than anyone who ever lived, become paranoid that I am being persecuted in whatever way suits me at the time...I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your book. Makes me realize how this illness has affected my life and how absolutely stupid I have been, and I guess will again. Thanks. Diane

message 6: by Kit (new)

Kit Johnson (kit_johnson) | 17 comments Mod
Awww Diane ! I am so glad the book has touched you and that memory of my Dad still makes me laugh too. There were other moments too. You're right it is an absurd condition and that's why laughing at it and ourselves is, in many ways, perfect therapy. The feelings you describe are very much like mine. Youre young and I'm old so relax you'll survive and learn how to handle it. Your ability to laugh at it is key. Never lose that!

Hope to see you on Twitter - that's where there's much more humour !

Take care and catch up soon

Kit xx

message 7: by Diane (new)

Diane Horton | 8 comments Hey you, I'm not that young....48 be exact....and looking back....WOW, the effect this freakish "illness" has had on my life, is beyond mind boggling!!! Besides actively through ignorance trying to take my life, I've had a lifetime from the age of 12 with reckless behavior, be it with drugs, I'd take anything and everything to numb 2 suicide attempts. I've only just realized how manic episodes has effected me, read something( maybe yours) stating you know your bi polar if: (perhaps a misquote) you belive your God....having just come off a manic episode, it left me rolling on the floor, as I had just proffesed the fact that I was the alpha and the Omega.....I know, I know.... The begining & the ending....but at the time I thought I meant all knowing, Godlike. That is until I read your blog regarding how ridiculous the saying it was.....but yeah I can't tell you enough how that one page( mind you many pages left me in stitches) but something about that scenario just hit home with me, seeing myself doing the same thing......well not exactly, but you the jist of it. The glue was pretty damned funny too, but can't say I relate as I'm trying to learn twitter better.....haven't used it much, but working on it.
Thanks, & take care of you!

message 8: by Diane (new)

Diane Horton | 8 comments Diane wrote: "Hey you, I'm not that young....48 be exact....and looking back....WOW, the effect this freakish "illness" has had on my life, is beyond mind boggling!!! Besides actively through ignorance trying to..."

Diane wrote: "Kit wrote: "The term Locus of Control - LOC – was propounded 60 years ago by Julian Rotter, and does not refer to Bipolar or even Mental Illness per se, but seeks to determine one’s approach to li..."

message 9: by Diane (new)

Diane Horton | 8 comments Okay, now I'll stop yapping on off topic. I definitely agree that our actions and intentions definitely, without question affect ones outlook on life and therefore determines ones life and joy in it. I also agree laughter is a wonderful healing source regardless of circumstance. No matter what one is going through, some quite horrific, being able to laugh be it at ones behavior or something completely unrelated, can irrefutably be a helpful and healing thing. Hence the saying "laughter is the best medicine". Great insight Kit, and I for one have benefited by your unrelenting refusal to allow bi polar to get you down....or perhaps keep you down, when you began to realize "oh heck, can't change it or beat it....might as well make the best of it. Thanks, Kit!!
Sincerely, Diane :)

message 10: by Kit (new)

Kit Johnson (kit_johnson) | 17 comments Mod
Hi Diane
Well hey are you looking great for 48!! I'm glad you found my blogs helpful. I strive hard to make a serious point but always underpin with some humour. Its a gloomy subject and there are plenty of gloomy types and gloomy books. Finding absurdity in amongst the agony is key. Thanks as always for your support.
You take care too Kit x

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