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What I really hate about... > What I really hate about family life

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

I hate my mother calling five or six times and never leaving a message about why she's calling.


message 2: by Susan65 (new)

Susan65 I hate worrying about money


message 3: by Kim (new)

Kim Alan (KimPossum) I hate having to feed them All The Time. Damn kids and their dietary requirements. :)


Ije the Devourer of Books | 11182 comments Those times when you have to go to family events and you would rather be home snoozing.


message 5: by Kendra (new)

Kendra (book_lover_too) | 337 comments Being responsible ALL THE TIME...every now and then I wish they (our kids) would remember they have a dad too, instead of walking right by him to ask me to do something for them. Especially when I am in the middle of doing something.


message 6: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments IN-LAWS!!!!


message 7: by Kendra (new)

Kendra (book_lover_too) | 337 comments Tj wrote: "IN-LAWS!!!!"

Oh no, they are still there aren't they? so sorry!!


message 8: by Katharina (last edited Mar 12, 2013 03:51PM) (new)

Katharina | 106 comments I hate feeling morally obliged to visit my parents and my in-laws almost every weekend, although the weekends are the only time I can see my husband since I've moved away (over 500 kilometers) for work. Not to mention my incredibly bad conscience that I spend way too little time with my nieces (and sister) and that I almost never visit my grandma. I really like my family (and my in-laws), but Geez. I just would like some free alone hubby time once in a while - is that so much to ask? ... most of all, though, I hate that I hate all this family visit 'duty', even though I like them so much. Makes me feel like a bad person.
... I know, whiny much? ;)


Rissa (an M/M kinda Girl!!) (rissa79) I hate teenage daughters (well 1 almost teen & teen) fighting constantly!


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

Katharina wrote: "I hate feeling morally obliged to visit my parents and my in-laws almost every weekend, although the weekends are the only time I can see my husband ...Makes me feel like a bad person."

Argh! How dreadful. I'm scrourgated to hear your family intrudes on your time so much and none of them are bright enough to say hey look everyone we've got to give them time to be husband and wife.

You are not whining. You have a right to complain.


message 11: by Katharina (new)

Katharina | 106 comments Lucas wrote: "You are not whining. You have a right to complain."

Thanks!! :) Anyway, I get better at saying 'no'. And there'll be at least two weeks of vacation togetherness in the summer to which I'm very much looking forward :)
... family is always the greatest when you've increased the spatial distance for a while. Then you remember why you like and miss the whole crazy lot!


message 12: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Yes, in-laws still are here:( I have NO idea when they will leave. It could be worse, they have a rv and live in it in the driveway but still:(


message 13: by Shannon (new)

Shannon (pokey36) When my kids whine and complain about the dumbest crap. They wouldn't know a real problem if it came up and bit them on the ass! (I'm doing something wrong, I know, I know)

@TJ, Dayum! It's neverending for you. :(


message 14: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments *sigh* I got a new phone yesterday and they came with us. We left around 10 am and got home around 10 pm. Soooo much talk of politics, which we don't agree on but I don't dare open my mouth because...fight! and they won't listen anyway. There was also talk of canine helpers. We met a woman who had an anxiety alert dog. OMG!!! Another bigoted item to add to the list! Couldn't POSSIBLY be a dog for that and a chihuahua...yeah, fun times:(


message 15: by Linda-Grace (new)

Linda-Grace (lindagrace) I hate when i text my sister who never texts back especially when she is on holiday grr.

I hate i feel inferior to my older sister. (my issue).


message 16: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Linda wrote: "I hate when i text my sister who never texts back especially when she is on holiday grr.

I hate i feel inferior to my older sister. (my issue)."


I have that issue too Linda. There are 7 of us kids in family and I have a brother and sister with a Bachelor degrees, a brother and sister with Master degrees, a brother that is about to receive his Ph.D. and a sister, like me, with no college degree. Yup, family of overachievers. The one sister and I are the odd balls and me more than her since she has a job that she is VERY good at and I'm a housewife.


message 17: by Kendra (new)

Kendra (book_lover_too) | 337 comments Tj wrote: "Linda wrote: "I hate when i text my sister who never texts back especially when she is on holiday grr.

I hate i feel inferior to my older sister. (my issue)."

I have that issue too Linda. There ..."


It's frustrating being a housewife and stay at home mom sometimes. I have a bachelor's degree but am at home also. My sister-in-law sometimes makes comments that make me feel like a 1950's housewife. "You do all the laundry, even Mike's?" Well, yeah, when would he have time? There have been other comments but I just try to remember that I do this for my family, not to impress anyone.


Ije the Devourer of Books | 11182 comments I think it is great that you are able to be at home with your family. I think the most important thing is choice. It is nice to be able to get out to the work place or have a profession if that is what a person wants, but sometimes the work place is overrated.

I have had to put up with horrible work places over the years because I am a divorced single parent and I have worked with some people who have been really nasty and vindictive. When I think about this I would have preferred to have been at home investing that time in my son instead of running the gauntlet with such horrible people.

Fortunately things have changed a lot. I do a lot of things outside work which I find very fulfilling and (because of seating shortages at work) I am in the fab position of being able to work from home at least twice a week which takes me away from vindictive work place politics. I have also really changed as a person and have an entirely new role in life (I became a priest - part time). Funnily enough this changed all the work place politics and the people who spent years being really horrible to me suddenly ‘saw the light’ and decided that they needed to change. I have come across a lot of odd behaviour in the work place over the years but this is at the top of my list. I call my former adversaries my ‘first converts’. :) It is sad that it took ordination into the Church of England for things to change in my work place. Things are much better now but I have also changed and I am job hunting to find work that truly interests me and not just because I need a salary. My son is now a graduate and job hunting himself so the painful struggle was worth it.

When I look back to the really difficult times at work I would have loved to have been able to spend more time with my son instead.

I think what I am trying to say is don’t let anyone tell you that what you are doing in the family and at home isn’t important. I think it is a wonderful thing to be able to do.


message 19: by Linda-Grace (new)

Linda-Grace (lindagrace) Tj wrote: "Linda wrote: "I hate when i text my sister who never texts back especially when she is on holiday grr.

I hate i feel inferior to my older sister. (my issue)."

I have that issue too Linda. There ..."


I think what you do is an amazing job bringing up your kids.


message 20: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Being a housewife wasn't what I had in mind for me but life has its funny ways. Everyone tells me to go back to school but I am not sure I have the drive any more but maybe now with the kids gone:)


message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

Tj wrote: "Being a housewife wasn't what I had in mind for me but life has its funny ways. Everyone tells me to go back to school but I am not sure I have the drive any more but maybe now with the kids gone:)"

I had to make a commitment to a career long before I knew enough about it to know if it was right for me. That isn't what I had in mind for life-choices either. I am more than a little bit certain I made the right choice but who knows?

You are very well aware that being a homemaker is difficult work. Still if you have time now and have the desire you must have thought about putting your skills and smarts together to help out in an area of interest to you in serving in arenas from politics to advocacy to education/libraries to community service organizations as a way to have an extended role outside of your main vocation. I know I'd have to be careful to control the amount of time I would choose to give to that kind of work because my main job at home would still be the most important.

If I like you, I already had a job, I wouldn't look at school as different goal but a chance at lifelong learning. Of course it isn't necessary to tackle higher education with a big commitment to a full class load since it is possible to take selected coursework of interest at any pace that suits available time and energy.

It's my observation that the profession of being a homemaker is a full-time job with or without kids around—so if I was facing those decisions I'd take things slowly to see if I could spare any time at all without lowering my standards for running the home.


message 22: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Lucas wrote: "Tj wrote: "Being a housewife wasn't what I had in mind for me but life has its funny ways. Everyone tells me to go back to school but I am not sure I have the drive any more but maybe now with the..."

Yeah, hubby is my first priority. He likes that when he is off I'm there so I will wait a bit and see what life may still take me. Being a housewife was for the kids at first and now it's because of hubby and my health but I'm not OLD so school is still an option if I want and if it suits my life. This year is just a little difficult seeing my youngest sibling get his PhD. Shows how time passes. He is like you. An athlete and a scholar:)


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

Tj wrote: "...but maybe now with the kids gone:) "

You never know, They might be back :-)


message 24: by Kendra (new)

Kendra (book_lover_too) | 337 comments Lucas wrote: "Tj wrote: "...but maybe now with the kids gone:) "

You never know, They might be back :-)"


Exactly! Not sure how old your children are TJ but I'm 31 and I once heard my generation referred to as the "boomerang" generation (just one of many interesting labels out there) because even though we leave for college, we have a tendency to come back...


message 25: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Oh, I've already had that happen. One is my son, see avatar, he is 22 with a 6 month old son. The other is my daughter who is 20 and she I could see coming back;) Both are living 2 1/2 hours away going to school and working. We are probably moving soon so I doubt they will WANT to come home after that!


message 26: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments I hate being civil to my in-laws that made the first years of my marriage so bad. My mom reports when they talk to her it it always, "My Tammi". Irritates my mom big time.


message 27: by [deleted user] (new)

Tj wrote: "One is my son, see avatar, he is 22 with a 6 month old son."

That is going to be one very gorgeous kid if he grows up to look like his very handsome dad.


message 28: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Lucas wrote: "Tj wrote: "One is my son, see avatar, he is 22 with a 6 month old son."

That is going to be one very gorgeous kid if he grows up to look like his very handsome dad."


Thanks. He was kinda young then. This is him about a year ago.

One of my groups liked this picture of him, gives a mother a bit of pride and mortification;) He is very into bikes. He is a bit of the reason I had the original troubles with the in-laws. Hubby isn't his "bio" dad.


message 29: by Kendra (new)

Kendra (book_lover_too) | 337 comments Tj wrote: "Lucas wrote: "Tj wrote: "One is my son, see avatar, he is 22 with a 6 month old son."

That is going to be one very gorgeous kid if he grows up to look like his very handsome dad."

Thanks. He was..."


Wish more people would realize that family isn't just defined by blood. It's so much more than that.


message 30: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Yup, hubby doesn't have a problem with it. My family has some adoptions and step-children but we never have counted that. Hubby's is a smaller family and have always been more conservative and "traditional" thinking. They would never say anything now and act a lot like it doesn't matter but...you just can't forget the past.


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Tj wrote: "They would never say anything now and act a lot like it doesn't matter but...you just can't forget the past."

That sucks. I don't get it at all. He is your son even if you found him in a cabbage patch. What planet do your in-law come from? And damn. He's even more handsome now then in the profile photos. Though he's awful good looking in the pic of him flexing his bicep. ;-)

If Tom and I ever have a kid obviously it wouldn't be biologically for us, but he would be our son 100 percent if not more.


message 32: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments My family was furious and is still upset over it all. Caused a lot of trouble but they act like it never happened. I will never understand it all. He is also living in sin since he and his fiancee aren't married. Yup, uber-christians so we won't go into the marriage issue for gays. They are on the edge of my limits and I only "tolerate" them for hubby. I won't put up with the "gay-bashing" in my house and they know it!


message 33: by justanya (last edited Mar 25, 2013 07:02AM) (new)

justanya The Mother in law... she has to find fault with everything and everything is always my fault.
MIL to me: "You should teach the kids more Spanish".
Me: " Your son should teach them more Spanish. I teach them Patoise. You said stop teaching them Spanish because I butcher the accent".

MIL to me: "What? You can't fly to Jamaica after Christmas. We want to see the grandkids. That's unnecessary debt."
Me: "My parents would like to see them too. We spend every holiday and Xmas here. My parents only wants one Xmas with all their kids and grandkids under the same roof."

MIL to me: "It's not Puerto Rican food if you change the recipe I gave you. My son should have married a good Puerto Rican woman who'll at least feed him right and teach the kids Spanish".
Me: it's called fusion. He likes it and asks for it.
MIL: " you're confusing the kids."
Me: it's ok, they're mixed"..... And the beat goes on.
FIL:" Anya, just ignore her. She's not happy unless she complains."
God I love that man!


Mrs.Crazy (nico di angelo) | 6 comments I'm sizzled because I didn't understand Anya's post!!


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

Mrs.Crazy wrote: "I'm sizzled because I didn't understand Anya's post!!"

Well I'm sizzled because Anya's mother-in-law so much better at complaining than I am.


Mrs.Crazy (nico di angelo) | 6 comments Lucas wrote: "Mrs.Crazy wrote: "I'm sizzled because I didn't understand Anya's post!!"

Well I'm sizzled because Anya's mother-in-law so much better at complaining than I am."


Her mother- in-law. NOW I UNDERSTAND!!


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Anya wrote: "The Mother in law... she has to find fault with everything and everything is always my fault.
MIL to me: "You should teach the kids more Spanish".
Me: " Your son should teach them more Spanish. ..."


I'm deriggered because Anya is such a good writer that people are staring at me because I literally laughed out loud when I read her complaint.


message 38: by justanya (new)

justanya Lucas wrote: "Anya wrote: "The Mother in law... she has to find fault with everything and everything is always my fault.
MIL to me: "You should teach the kids more Spanish".
Me: " Your son should teach them m..."


Happy to oblige. My life is a joke... She's a black belt at complaining, back handed compliments and veiled put downs. I must admit though Lucas, I do wonder if she would nag you to death if you were engaged to her other son instead of Tom. Hmmm


message 39: by [deleted user] (new)

Anya wrote: "I must admit though Lucas, I do wonder if she would nag you to death if you were engaged to her other son instead of Tom. Hmmm "

I'm mad because Tom is telling me to go ahead and date your brother-in-law,


message 40: by justanya (new)

justanya Lucas wrote:

I'm mad because Tom is telling me to go ahead and date..."



Full circle moment. My complaint triggered a complaint amongst Lucas and Tom?! Please don't validate that woman's claims that everything is my fault... Smh (shaking my head)


message 41: by Preston, Moderator (new)

Preston | 20148 comments I hate family funerals


Ije the Devourer of Books | 11182 comments Absolutely, especially if there are unresolved difficult issues simmering below the surface.


message 43: by Dustin (new)

Dustin I hate that I live with my family who are hoarders and that the place is a disaster, plus I share a room with my 30-year-old, and there's like very little privacy. I can only masturbate when he's sleeping. Ugh! Haha! Okay that sounded creepy, but still, ugh!


message 44: by Laura (new)

Laura (mingaboxer) I hate that my son as inherited my husband's short temper and my smart mouth...


message 45: by Macky (new)

Macky (mactut) I hate that my poor sister is being used by her ungrateful kids who are all adults now and should know better!


message 46: by Hilary (new)

Hilary Evans (hilevans83) | 121 comments I hate that some of you have such crappy in-laws. I mean mine are definitely old fashioned. Justin was a middle of life accident. His parents thought they couldn't have kids. So, when his dad was 40 and his mom 45, surprise!!! Lol...his closest in age sibling was 18 at the time and the oldest one is now my mom's age. They are also very opinionated about politics (they are as republican as it gets, we lean left with some in the center still), religion (they're diehard cant ever miss a mass Catholics, we are atheists), and how to run a home (I'm a bit OCD so I like thinks neat and uncluttered. I wash different rooms on different days of the week making sure they nice and sanitary. Once a week I even do all the floors..sweep, dust, steam mop. And monthly I clean the bed sheets, curtains, and any rugs that need them. I'm pretty sure if I bumped it up a notch it'd be considered a mental disorder. My mil is always telling or showing me how she cleans thing. She doesn't out and out say I should too, but I'm not stupid...she literally does laundry every day even if its 2 or 3 items, washes the bedding once or twice a week, and irons every day, even boxer shorts and Blue jeans.

Other than that, they're perfect. Both of them are hilarious,cuss at the tv during Red Sox game, and argue with each other like old married people in the light hearted funny way. My father in law has called me darling or baby since the first time he met me and they both gave me a hug and a kiss, and when Justin was deployed they said I could call anytime. They drove a few times from Mass to CT since I had no driver's license at the time to run errands, including the wedding planning I needed to do. They both came in, and I let them pick stuff like food and drinks because I'm not picky and since their relatives were gonna be the guests, they'd know allergies.for the stuff I decided they didn't try to change my mind though I could tell hiS mom hated the idea of us having the actual ceremony at a carousel and then so everything Else at the reception spot. She ended up liking it, so all was good. I figured after the wedding she'd get like those parents who hate the wife because they can't see or talk to their kid as much, but I got lucky there to. Apparently Justin rarely called or visited them before we met, but now I call my MIL every four days when JuStin has duty (24 hr shift on the submarine), and she loves it because she gets more info about her son that she ever did before. I make sure to send birthday, anniversary, and Mother day flowers every year but send them under his name. I'll lie til the day I die that he was the one who remembered the holiday and picked out the gift...lol. I dunno even though they're opinionated and will debate you, it stays civil and doesn't go too far. And it's usually followed by "Hey! Let's Eat!" Even though their view on homosexuality is wrong, I almost guarantee if Justin told his parents he was gay and I was a post-op transsexual, I think even they would get over it in a couple days... And heck, my parent's wouldn't even bat an eyelash.

So anyways it makes me mad and sad that there are crappy in-laws. People need to learn when their kid is an adult, they no longer get 100% of their time. Their kids will have jobs, spouses, kids...people are lucky if they're getting much time from their grown kids at all, though my parents are an exception. I boomeranged back home three times and my brother did twice, only to move back in a third time this week...I wish I could loan my in-laws to those having in-law issues this week, but I promised them we would go visit them tomorrow in Boston. It's been way too long in my opinion. They're only an hour away. I think twice a month is good, once a month at very least, and Justin likes to show up for holidays only. I had to force him into this one. :-)


message 47: by Trisha (new)

Trisha Harrington (trishaharrington) | 20 comments I hate my dad's side of the family coming in and out of my life when they feel like it. He died when I was a toddler and only two relatives have shown genuine interest in me. Yet, if we are out somewhere together they act as if we are the closest family in the world. :)


message 48: by Tj (new)

Tj (bluesmokey) | 632 comments Hilary wrote: "I hate that some of you have such crappy in-laws. I mean mine are definitely old fashioned. Justin was a middle of life accident. His parents thought they couldn't have kids. So, when his dad was 4..."

You sound a little like my sister. Her hubby isn't military but she has the same sort of relationship with her MIL as you. I'm glad there are some that get along so much better with their in-laws than I do. I'm still soooo happy they are gone. Then when I talked to them last they told me they might be able to have the job they are on for a year...then they crashed me to earth telling me they don't think they want it for a year:( Dang it so close!

Tʀɪsʜᴀ wrote: "I hate my dad's side of the family coming in and out of my life when they feel like it. He died when I was a toddler and only two relatives have shown genuine interest in me. Yet, if we are out som..."

I'm sorry for that. I can't imagine if that had happened with any of my family:( Relatives can suck!


message 49: by Averin (new)

Averin | 1960 comments I hate that I am married to someone who serially makes the worst possible career decisions to the financial detriment of the family as well as my own career prospects. I dislike that there isn't much I can do about it because he has cancer and I would never be able to look my kids in the eye and explain why I left their father to die alone. It's detestable to feel this way so I pushed my rectangular liberal arts self through a round tech program, knowing I may do work that I won't like.


message 50: by Macky (new)

Macky (mactut) So sorry Averin, that's a heck of lot for you to shoulder! I hope you have support from friends and family. If not I admire your strength and foresight to carry on under the circumstances. I'm only privy to what you've posted but I am sorry to hear about your husbands illness. Thoughts, hugs and prayers sent your way. ((( xoxo)))


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