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Realistic Fiction > Clair De Lune

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message 1: by Isaac (new)

Isaac | 8014 comments Oh yes I read that and I was sad because I can't write as good as you


message 2: by Isaac (new)

Isaac | 8014 comments But I am not lying.


message 3: by Taylor (new)

Taylor Emily, you don't ever suck at writing…but you do seem to lie a lot. :)


message 4: by Isaac (new)

Isaac | 8014 comments I always suck at writing what are you talking about


message 5: by Taylor (new)

Taylor u r lying


message 6: by Isaac (new)

Isaac | 8014 comments I'm also terrible at feedback.


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
I will give you feedback!


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Aah, this is really nice lyrical writing. The imagery is gorgeous and I love the music metaphors and references. The only problem I had is that a lot of the sentences sound awkward and forced, kind of like you're trying really hard and it's just not getting there. (Not everything, but a few places.) I'd go through and read it out loud, trying to figure out if it flows and if it sounds awkward shift some things around.


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