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message 1: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments I have to write a novel for my creative writing class contest. I was hoping to make this to get some feedback. Warning:My novel is about a girl who is abused by her father and cuts herself. If you don't like that stuff then don't read.

message 2: by Lily (last edited Dec 27, 2012 11:56PM) (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments Here is actually what I came up with earlier today. It's not the beginning I think. I'm not sure where it is. Somewhere near the beginning probably.

I took in a breath and looked at the girl in the mirror. Choppy waist length brown hair, grey eyes, super pale. Ugly. People might think my grey eyes are pretty, but really, if you look at them, they just show people how lifeless I am. Not even my eyes are colorful. I look down at my hands. My right hand clutches my razor and is poised over my left arm ready to make yet another cut. I looked at the girl in the mirror again. "Worthless," I told her. "Your worthless," The tears started to form in my eyes. I set my razor on a rare empty patch of fragile skin near my wrist. With one swift movement the razor cut through the skin. I rolled my head back with pure bliss. The blood oozed out and ran down my wrist and hand in little rivers. The feeling that filled me was hope. This may seem gross nd I may seem crazy, but if I hadn't found cutting then I would probably just be a shell of myself. It makes me feel alive. I cut for many reasons. My thoughts wandered to all my reasons as I grabbed a hand towel from the bathroom counter and pressed it against my cut. One reason is my father abuses me. My father Anthony. Ever since my mother died he has beaten me. If you looked at my body there are bruises everywhere. If there was a place without a bruise then there was a cut I had made. Another reason is the boy I'm in love with is dating my best friend. I could never steal him away from her. Her happiness means everything to me. Another reason is when I'm alone or it's been an extreme beating from Anthony, it makes me feel alive. I didn't look in the mirror as I put the razor back in my drawer and throw the now blood soaked towel in the laundry hamper. I grabbed my roll of bandages and wrap some around my new cut. When I'm done I walk out of my bathroom into my room. It's a plain bedroom. White walls, red sheets. I bought the sheets after everything started so that if I bled on my bed I wouldn't really notice.

message 3: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments

That's my inspiration for her appearance.

message 4: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments Warning:This isn't going to go in exact order. Right now I'm just writing scenes that come to mind.

message 5: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments "Leave me 'lone," I said, and closed my eyes.

"Scarlet, you're asleep in the middle of a forest."

"So?" I murmured. "I've fallen asleep in weirder places than this." I felt him pick me up, bridal style, and start walking. I relaxed for a moment, until I realized who was carrying me, and the fact that I didn't know where the hell he was taking me.

"Hey!! PUT ME DOWN!!" I pulled my knee back by my head, and kicked him as hard as I could in the jaw. To my dismay, he didn't even flinch.


"I never said you could carry me!"

"Well, you obviously weren't walking!"

"I am now."

"Fine." He set me down, and I tripped over my shoes and was falling, until I felt a pair of cold hands grab my waist. I tried to straighten up, but him hands kept me where I was.

"What the heck-"

"What happened to your back?" Shit. He had seen my scars. I turned around and glared at him, but immediately regretted it. He looked as though he wanted to strangle someone.

"That's none of your business, either."

"Please, Scarlet. I'm just trying to help."

"STOP IT!! I DO NOT need your help!" Stupid asshole. Is he like retarded, or something? Can't he get it through his thick skull that I want to be left alone?

"Goodbye." I said and walked out of the woods and onto the sidewalk.

"Wait!" I heard him call behind me.

I felt his hand grab my wrist, not hard but firmly. "Where do you think you're going?"


message 6: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments I know this makes no sense compared to the other one. There different plots for the same story. I'm still deciding which one to take.

message 7: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments Here's one that could go either way, but I'm warning you that it's a abuse scene.

message 8: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments I got dressed and walked downstairs. Not wanting to repeat the horrible mistake I had made two days ago, I immediately got to work on a ham, cheese, and onion omelet. As I chopped an onion, I felt someone's gaze burning into my back, making the hair on the back of my neck tingle. But every time I turned around, no one was there. It was rather creepy.
At 6:15, the omelet was done, and Anthony came down and dug in. Then I realized something. He had no drink.
Anthony noticed this the same time I did. "SCARLET SWAN! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHY DON'T I HAVE A DRINK?!"
"I'm sorry!" I cried desperately. Hands shaking, I ran over to the cabinet holding the cups, pulling one out, I went back over to the refrigerator and pulled out the milk.
"Did you just talk back to me?!" He roared. I braced myself for whatever would happen to me now. I heard him grab the still hot pan from the stove. Oh, shit. This was going to hurt.
I screamed as the hot oils were poured down the back of my shirt, then as the bottom of the pan scorched into my back, making the grease and oils from the onion boil and pop. The frying pan collided with the back of my head, causing ringing to go off in my ears. I didn't know if it was in my head or not.
Anthony dropped the pan by my head; I was laying spread eagle on my stomach. The oils still popped and burned, on my shoulders, my back, my neck. It was nearly unbearable. The front door slammed as Anthony made his way out to the cruiser. The second I heard the car start, I was on my feet, sprinting up the stairs and into the bathroom. Desperately, I tugged off my shirt and turned the water as cold as it would go and stepped in, my jeans still on. It still burned, though. I cried out in agony, it wouldn't stop. My head was still throbbing, but I didn't even pay attention anymore. The fire that raged on my back wouldn't go out. I reached back and felt my neck, where some of the oil had landed. There was a thick coating of grease there. Grabbing a washcloth, I clenched my teeth and scrubbed the back of my neck. At first the pain flared, and I nearly cried out again, but as I got more and more of the oil off, the burning sensation slowly went down, and I sighed in relief.

message 9: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments Sorry about the cussing

message 10: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments I've actually decided to do the second plot line, but I'll remember that.

message 11: by Rinasa1234 (new)

Rinasa1234 This is really good.

message 12: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments Thank you

message 13: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Wow.

message 14: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments Thank you.

message 15: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Btw I <3 your profile pic! LES MISÉRABLES!!!

message 16: by Emily (new)

Emily &#x1f48b; (milylou) | 4 comments is it a college class ur taking?

message 17: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments I'm not in college.

message 18: by Lily (new)

Lily (lovelyisapixie) | 19 comments I am a huge les mis/little mermaid freak so my profile pics will always be of that

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