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Vlogbrothers > Shakespearian insults

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message 1: by Emily (new)

Emily | 2 comments I was wondering if you peeps could think of any Shakespeare- era insults to use on haters on the internet and in school... I know John said a bunch in old vids, but I don't want to go through the long archives of Vlogbrother vids... and I want to see how creative nerdfighters are... Lets Insult some haters in Shakespearian language! :D So... Go! I guess... and remember- We are not insulting each other, but Jocks and such (sorry if your a nerdy jock!) DFTBA Peeps.

message 2: by Tegan (new)

Tegan Pretty sure it wouldn't go down too well if you actually tried to use Shakespearean insults on a 'jock'. Insults tend to backfire when no one but you understands them.

message 3: by Emily (new)

Emily | 2 comments Well, you know youtube trolls and such....

message 4: by M. Mallard (new)

M. Mallard | 7 comments I would utilize the terms and phrases invented by Shakespeare himself. Words such as eyeball, doorknob, and alligator. None of these are very insulting, but you can find lists of these words online, perhaps you can find some that can be crafted into an insult.


message 5: by M. Mallard (new)

M. Mallard | 7 comments Found one!

“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”

message 6: by M. Mallard (new)

M. Mallard | 7 comments M. Mallard wrote: "Found one!

“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”"

Here are a few more. Some of them are pretty weak, but I did the best I could.

“[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!”

“Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.”

“One may smile, and smile, and be a villain. ”

“Exit, pursued by a bear.”

“Thou art a very ragged Wart.”

“Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.”

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.”

“I wish my horse had the speed of your tongue.”

“Why, what's the matter,
That you have such a February face,
So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?”

The horse one could be used a compliment... be careful with the context of that.

I don't suggest you actually USE any of these...

message 7: by Daniella (new)

Daniella | 10 comments This isn't much of an insult, more of a warning, but..."If ever you disturb our streets again/Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace...On pain of death, all men depart."
Here's a bunch of insults, some might be repeated because I'm not checking:
"You muddy conger!"
"Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of the Nile!"
"Thou art a boil, a plague-sore, an embossed carbuncle!"
And you can always bite your thumb at the people bothering you if all else fails - that was a terrible insult in Shakespeare's time. That will probably make matters worse though...

message 8: by Anna (new)

Anna Lembke | 5 comments My favorite: Thy tongue out-venoms the worms of the Nile

message 9: by Jillian (new)

Jillian (jkinder4224) | 18 comments I just bite my tongue at people and strut off.

✿.Ⓐⓟⓞⓞⓡⓥⓐ.✿ (apoorvak) | 9 comments "Thou fusty spur-galled nut-hook!"

"Thou gleeking shard-borne boar-pig!"

"Hast thou or word, or wit, or impudence, that can yet do thee office?"

"I think thou never wast where grace was said."

"There's no room for faith, truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine. It is all filled up with guts and midriff."

"Be not lost so poorly in your thoughts."

And my personal favorite:
"Be put in a cauldron of lead and usurer's grease, amongst a whole million of cutpurses, and there boil like a gammon of bacon that will never be enough."

message 11: by Tyler (new)

Tyler | 6 comments I would rather be lacking in wit, than apply them as you do.

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