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Writer's Works > Instructions

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message 1: by Allie (new)

Allie So in this folder, post your works, especially if they are longer!


message 2: by Maren K (new)

Maren K (mkgunning) Okay, here's a poem I wrote:


I love the way
you tilt your chair against the wall.
That devilish glint in your eyes
like it's impossible to fall.
I love
when we're the first ones done in class
and you look over at me and smile.
And nothing could go wrong

I love how you call me sweetheart
Even when I'm shouting at you
How you tell me I'm so smart
When I'm just telling the truth.
When it's two in the morning
And we're high on caffeine
The world is transforming
In the streetlight light.

You make me want to
Laugh all day
And scream in the rain
Cry all night
And smile through the pain
Dance to no music
Jump off the roof
Spread my arms and try to fly
Even if I fall I have the will to survive
I just want to
Punch you and kiss you
But I don't know which to do
So I pretend
Like I don't love you
Even when I'm
Upside down
Inside out
Back and forth
Left and right
Crazy
Wild
Complicated
All the way
And torn apart
I'm falling for you.

Im laughing in my nightgown
But no one can hear.
Everything burns down
And we're the last ones standing here.
They say you fall in love one time alone
But obviously they wouldn't have known
Because every time I look at you
I fall for you again
Again
And again.

I used to be afraid to fly
Afraid that I might fall.
Now I know that if I fly
You'll fly with me.
I know that if I fall
You'll fall for me.
Like I'm falling for you.

Changes, edits, or just your feedback would be great!


message 3: by Kaitlyn (new)

Kaitlyn (kaitlynlw22) Maren wrote: "Okay, here's a poem I wrote:


I love the way
you tilt your chair against the wall.
That devilish glint in your eyes
like it's impossible to fall.
I love
when we're the first ones done in class
an..."


That was amazing! I love how it rhymed and flowed together so well! I really can't say many changes or edits... It was literally perfect! I deeply loved how you could here a voice through this writing. I loved how the poem gives you this sense of mystery, romance and danger, all at the same time. This poem was just beautiful!


message 4: by Maren K (new)

Maren K (mkgunning) THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT LITERALLY JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!!


message 5: by Kaitlyn (last edited Dec 29, 2012 09:06AM) (new)

Kaitlyn (kaitlynlw22) Your welcome! Would you mind visiting
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
I started this story not to long ago and I need some constructive criticism. :)


message 6: by Allie (new)

Allie Maren wrote: "Okay, here's a poem I wrote:


I love the way
you tilt your chair against the wall.
That devilish glint in your eyes
like it's impossible to fall.
I love
when we're the first ones done in class
an..."


It almost sounds like a song, it's so lyrical and flowing!


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