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Diaries > My f****d up life

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Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I think I'm going to die! This morning I found out that my best friend, BEST FRIEND, lied me about his relationship... He said that everybody was looking him like loser and he wanted to change that. I understand that but he knows everything about me: about fights with my mom and how I feel and all he said to me was a lie. I already thought that some stories were a lie but to said that he's with popular girl who doesn't go to our school and think that no one will find out? I mean how dumb can you be?! I wouldn't even find out if there wasn't a "friend" who told me that she doesn't even know him... And, for things to got worst, my mom pushes me to tidy my room and we had a fight. Again!


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

ouch. that sux


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I'm going to avoid him tomorrow.... I can't deal with it right now


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

thtd b smart. im going through something similar. my "best friend" is kinda turning on me. we WERE best friends and then i moved. weve kept in touch but when i mess up and confess to her in tears she doesnt try to make me feel better at ALL. which typically is the reason for confessing to to ur best friend. instead she tells me how disappointed she is and that she doesnt know me makes me feel 1000x WORSE! and now ive fallen in luv and have my first bf and shes telling me why im wrong. im sick of it. just flat out sick of it. sry. ik what u mean by not being able to trust a friend anymore. its driving me nuts too.


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I've been avoiding him for 2 days now. Thank God that no one realised that we're no friends anymore 'cause I wouldn't be able to explain all to everyone. And he pleased me to not tell anyone that his relationship was fake...
My cell almost died. I dropped it in the snow and he was in it for like 2 seconds and now 4 buttons don't work... I hate it! I can't even write a message right... :(
Mom still annoying me like only she knows. I'm always depressed when I went from school but she continue to ask how was at school and all that kind of stuff but the catch is when she don't ask me that I get mad 'cause I think she don't care for me. My brain is such a mess. And she and my dad won't stop fighting for some reason. They aren't huge fights but for some bullshits and then I freak out and get out from house and she got mad at me because I left and it goes on and on and on... I'm still wondering how am I still normal after all


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments Do you have those feelings like somebody's good to you only because he needs you? Well I get those feelings all the time when I speak to my ex-best friend... It's like all she wants from me is to help her pass her english exams and she's good to me now but when it pass she would return to me like she hates me or I annoys her. And I still don't know why I'm so weak infront of her...
I hate being in love when someone doesn't feels the same way. I saw that guy who's like a year older than me and I always feel butterflies in my stomach whenever he croos my path. But I'm afraid to talk to him because I didn't have good times with guys before and let's be honest I don't look perfect: I'm little overweight and I hate my face. I sometimes catch him while he's looking my way but I think it's nothing - how many times I rest my eyes on somebody don't even realising he's there... I didn't tell any of my friends 'cause they'll get all loud and annoying about that... Guess I'm just going to stare at him for the rest of the year...


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments ₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "thtd b smart. im going through something similar. my "best friend" is kinda turning on me. we WERE best friends and then i moved. weve kept in touch but when i mess up and confess to her in tea..."

I have something like that with my other friend. She's sooo good with me when she needs me to help her to pass her english exams but she treats me like trash when she don't need me...


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I hate the way my mother treats my sister... Ivana has a really bad time at the work and my mom don't do anything to comfort her... Now she's going it bed at tears 'cause
she wants to quit but my mom won't let her do it... :(


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "I hate the way my mother treats my sister... Ivana has a really bad time at the work and my mom don't do anything to comfort her... Now she's going it bed at tears 'cause
she wants to quit but my..."


*hug* stand up to ur mom. ur sisters important. u can do it :)


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "thtd b smart. im going through something similar. my "best friend" is kinda turning on me. we WERE best friends and then i moved. weve kept in touch but when i mess..."

*sigh* ik


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments ₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "I hate the way my mother treats my sister... Ivana has a really bad time at the work and my mom don't do anything to comfort her... Now she's going it bed at tears 'caus..."

Thanks :)


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

np


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments So, winter holidays just started! Yay! I'm so happy that I don't have to go to school anymore but it seems like the school were only place I could go and didn't have to
listen to my mom.... I'll miss that. And on top of everything it's snowing... It'll be Snowy New Year's Eve
:D


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

my winter break started a week ago. but im not expecting snow. actually the world WILL end when i get snow. im in saudi arabia. no snow here.


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments Lucky... I hate snow!


message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

i LOVE snow. i WISH i had snow.


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

awesome I LOVE SNOW!!! but i never get it i'm in australia :( it never snows here


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

u happen to be in northwest adelaide? by any chance of fate?


message 19: by Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* (last edited Dec 30, 2012 01:52AM) (new)

Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I think my mom finally get about what my sister was talking about when she came from work about 2:30 a.m. today (OK it was dark).... And I think my holiday's gonna suck 'cause all of my friends is going somewhere...


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

o tht stinks


message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "u happen to be in northwest adelaide? by any chance of fate?"

nope i'm in victoria


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

fudgenuts


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

hi.
you're a great person


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments {Hudolus Hiraeth} wrote: "hi.
you're a great person"


Who? Me?!


message 25: by [deleted user] (new)

yes, you!


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments Well, thank you. Nobody said that to me before


message 27: by Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* (last edited Dec 31, 2012 01:10AM) (new)

Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I'm going crazy! And my family don't get that! All that fights and cries... just make me insane! I even think about going out at midnight just to not hear them! It's like no one cares about my feelings. If I end up using drugs (whitch will never happen) that'll be their fault!
Even if I die I think they won't notice... It's so annoying to know that nobody think about you 'cause you're young and that won't hurt you - it's adult talk,
you don't have problems, you shouldn't have it... Well I have feelings and I have brain and I'm not some stupid kid! I'm 15, for god's sake! I'm just pretending that don't hurt me


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I'm trying to convince my dad to let me to spend New Year's Eve with my friends! Wish me luck!


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

good luck!


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments He let me go! So I'm going at 22:30. I hope it'll be good


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

cool :)


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments So it was good but not amazing. The sound wasn't good and I don't really like the band, I like only one song by them that is really good. And Emilija freaked out 'cause Sara get lost with Lazar (Sara's ex). So we looked for them everywhere and we couldn't find them. Signal was lost and we couldn't get them on the phone too. In the end they found us and that was really funny scene - Emilija screaming at Sara, me screaming at Lazar! Then we couldnt find Emilija's dad car. She was really mad and was annoyed through whole ride. Me and Sara were OK and she confesed me that Lazar tried to kiss her. She was overjoyed. I'm happy for her but Lazar was such a jerk in the end of their relationship and I don't want her to get hurt again.
Happy New Year! :D


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

eek


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments It's weird but I enjoy lying my mom. Every time I went outside I told her I'll be in the park or at my friend house but we go out of town at another town. She doesn't know anything about it and it's kinda funny to never be catch. And my mom doesn't like the friend I'm going out with. She's from Belgrade and she has grandparents here so she's here for vacation and my mom hates her because she thinks Sara is wild or something. And she always think I'll get into some trouble with her. I don't know why because I won't do something I don't like or think it's dangerous. Well my mother still think that I have brain of 5 yrs old kid but I don't mind anymore - it gives me excuse to fight with her


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

haha ik the feel


message 36: by Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* (last edited Jan 07, 2013 03:04AM) (new)

Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments So I dream really weird dreams. Last night I dreamed about guy who kissed me twice and I dreamed that we were arguing and he kissed me. I woke up but in the second dream I was with some guy from my class on the New Year's Eve and we were flirting.... So weird......


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

ive had wierder


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments And that was that dream with Jared Leto.... Oh god I'm totally sick!


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I had a fight with my mom again. And this one was huge.
I was going out with Sara and she started complaining how I always hang out with her when it's dark and that pissed me off so I start yelling at her to stop treating me like 5 yrs old and that I should go to a mental hospital and even that would be better than staying with her. So I stayed at home 'cause my dad said I can't go out and I get mad on him because he's always on her side even if she's not right. I tried to listen to some 30 Seconds to Mars songs to calm down but my headphones died (at least one of them) so I got even more frustrated. After a little while I picked up some book and started reading but dad gave me some paper to threw it in garbage but I refused and she started to yell on me and I swear she was about to punch me. So I went and threw the paper but even if she punched me that wouldn't change anything. I was mad at her whole night but strange thing about me is when I get cold I regret everything I did even when I was right and start talking with her again. And my sister think I'm lazy and I can't stand it 'cause she's still authority for me. I don't care about my mom because I get used to it that I'll never be good enough for her but when it gets to my sister - it really hurts


message 41: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "About what?"

about wierd stuff. zombies, my boyfriend, unicorns, i had a nightmare about aliens called frindles the stole my moms body and laughed at me, once i was chased by the fox in charlottes web 2, i have wierd dreams.


message 42: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "I had a fight with my mom again. And this one was huge.
I was going out with Sara and she started complaining how I always hang out with her when it's dark and that pissed me off so I start yellin..."


ik the feeling. i got yelled at for two hrs by both my parents bc my mom saw my sister crying over a seatbelt. my dad didnt even know what had happened and told me i was a mean selfish jerk and no one would ever be able to want me. ik ur pains.


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments ₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "About what?"

about wierd stuff. zombies, my boyfriend, unicorns, i had a nightmare about aliens called frindles the stole my moms body and laughed at me, once i was ch..."


Xaxaxaxxaxaxaxa that's funny! I dreamed end of the world. Like it was in some anime :D


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments ₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "I had a fight with my mom again. And this one was huge.
I was going out with Sara and she started complaining how I always hang out with her when it's dark and that pis..."


They told me a million times I'm selfish. And I hate that because I'm not.

So how's going with Lucas?


message 45: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "About what?"

about wierd stuff. zombies, my boyfriend, unicorns, i had a nightmare about aliens called frindles the stole my moms body and..."


i dreamed i was sucked into a vacuum and died. and it was all in cartoons.


message 46: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "₵î௹៛ ❤ my first bf ❤ wrote: "Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "I had a fight with my mom again. And this one was huge.
I was going out with Sara and she started complaining how I always hang out with he..."


i hate it because they made me depressed and suicidal for a while. im glad lucas saved me from THAT misery.

its going ok but i still havent heard from him.


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments Xaxxaxaxaxaxa that horrible...! I dreamed I was chased by wolfs and I fell in some hole and died


message 48: by [deleted user] (new)

Marija(Echelongirl) wrote: "Xaxxaxaxaxaxa that horrible...! I dreamed I was chased by wolfs and I fell in some hole and died"

ya. once i dreamed that my best friend killed me. and we got in a fight the day after i had that dream even though i didnt tell her about it...


Marija *I'm nothing but a slave of my misery* | 80 comments I know the feeling... It's like half of things I'm dreaming becomes true


message 50: by [deleted user] (new)

its so wierd.


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