Scribblers' Haven discussion

Bits and Pieces > Mind Palace

Comments (showing 1-10 of 10) (10 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments ((I'll be posting lost of idea stuff and updating my stories here so if y'all want to talk do so like this ^_^ Please and thank you. ))

message 2: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments My nanowrimo story beginning! Tell me what y'all think ^_^


The great ship was docked at the west side of the Isle of Mann, rocking minutely in the calm grey Irish Sea. The weather was pleasant enough with few clouds crowding the pale blue sky and it was an ideal spot to intercept travelers going from England to Ireland. Soon, however, there would be no travel to or from England - Darius did have command of the entire fleet after all.
Great Darius was a king of sorts, though he had no physical kingdom to call his own. He seemed kingly enough however - leaning upon a pale white hand, knees crossed with casual grace, perched just on the edge of his high backed leather chair, eyes cold and calculating, his hair shining white gold in the pale sunlight glaring through the window. His mighty shadow devoured the charming floor of his cabin and a satisfied smirk of all knowing curved across his face. His dress was smart and stylish. He wore a bold black satin tie, a crisp pale navy dress shirt and a black vest that sat on his slight figure in a respectable manner. Cruel gibes aimed in Darius' direction always disappeared with one flash of his smile. His soldiers followed his orders to the very last detail and when he walked by, he held them enthralled, their mouths agape in awe. Regal, indeed. However, now this great ruler leapt up from his chair, knuckles straining against his fair skin as he clenched his fists in outrage at the news he had just received.

“Damn him! How dare Isai defy me! First he marries her, then he allows that wench to give birth to that- That witch child! Messenger!”

“Y-yes milord?” The man answered timidly, shaking like a small cornered animal about to be devoured. He clutched the thin piece of parchment that had enraged the king in his bony hands and winced as the king advanced on him. Darius’ eyes turned a vivd red with his fury and he raised a hand to strike the innocent man. The messenger cried out in fear, but Darius stopped short of his face, the hand instead raking through his hair with exasperation. His red eyes faded to their usual black. What would hitting a pitiful messenger do for him? He mused. Nothing of course. The action was pointless, no matter how nice it would have felt to send the frail messenger flying across the room with one strike of the hand. “My apologies, I was overtaken by a sudden rage. This news took me off guard- Messenger, you shall fetch my first advisor. I need to speak with him immediately. After sending him to me you will leave my ship and if I ever see you again, you will be hanged. Understood?!” The messenger squeaked and managed a nod before stumbling out the door to complete his task.

Darius sunk back into his leather chair, rubbing at his now throbbing temple. He hadn’t expected this from his own kin. The human woman his brother, Isai, claimed to love was a succubus, the very thought of her disgusted him. Darius’ lip curled up at the thought. How had Isai been seduced by such a vile creature he’d never know and why he’d given up the crown to be with her was beyond his comprehension. What Darius was most enraged by was that his brother had allowed this human woman to give birth to a child. It was treason as far as he was concerned. For his brother to have a child with a human of all things! He was betraying his own race! His eyes flashed red again and he growled. “I will not allow this halfling to live.” He muttered with determination. There was a light rapping at his door and it echoed about Darius’ chamber, rousing him from his thoughts. “Come in, come in.” He said, irate that his musing was interrupted. Anouk , his first advisor, slipped into the room. His tall frame nearly reached the low lying celling and his blood red hair and white eyes seemed to smolder as he bowed deeply before Darius. “Lord King.” He spoke in his soft deep voice, gaze unwavering as he straightened. “You called for me?”

“What do you want Anouk? I haven’t the time for you at the moment. I need to think!” He snapped, his mouth pulled taunt into a thin angry line. “The messenger said you called for me Lord King.” Anouk replied smoothly, not the least bit ruffled by Darius’ anger, “Was it really necessary to threaten the poor man with execution? Surely the news could not have affected you that much.” Anouk arched a brow in bemusement, coving his mouth with a white gloved hand to hide his smile. “Excuse me for speaking out of turn Lord King, but for a proud Praecipuus such as yourself to be affected in such a manner by such trivial news - it’s comical!” Darius slammed his fists down on his desk causing the thing to rattle, “Silence Anouk! I did not call you here for you to mock me!”

Anouk bowed apologetically. “Indeed you didn’t - excuse me Lord King for being so insensitive about the matter.”

“You are forgiven, but only because it is you.” Darius said, relaxing into his chair. “Anouk, answer this question for me. Praecipuus, the name of our race, do you know its origin and meaning?” Anouk nodded, “But of course, the word Praecipuus originates from latin, it’s meaning is ‘special’. Praecipuus is a powerful word that is both our namesake and a sign of our superiority.” He recited.

“Correct.” Darius said, lacing his hands together underneath his chin. “Praecipuus, special. That thing Isai and that human woman have created is neither of the two. The child is an abomination. We have been at war with the humans for generations, this child could ruin everything! If our allies, the Chimeras got word of this, imagine what they would think?! One of our kind eloping with a human, our enemy! We would be lost, destroyed by both friend and enemy!!”

Anouk looking at him in wonder. “You can’t be serious.” He scoffed.

“Oh, but I am.” Darius replied. “You know how Nero is, that thick skulled lion Chimera, he wouldn’t hesitate to set his army on us at the slightest sign of betrayal.”

Anouk sighed heavily, “You have a point, Lord King... What would you have me do about it?”

Darius suddenly looked weary, the weight of his coming words already taking their toll, “Kill them, all three - my brother Isai, his human woman and their child.”

message 3: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments ((There is! I have yet to write it though ^^'))

message 4: by Shambhawi (new)

Shambhawi P. (shambhawip) | 45 comments Loved it :) My NaNo draft is a clutter of typos and grammatical errors - unlike yours.

The last line was especially great - it left me with my jaw dropping and thinking WHERE IS CHAPTER 1???! Can't wait to read more =)

message 5: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments Well part of chapter one will come tonight ^^ I'm glad you like it!

message 6: by Shambhawi (new)

Shambhawi P. (shambhawip) | 45 comments Yay! :) Can't wait to read it!!

message 7: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments

Her name is Indigo, she's going to be the main protagonist of my story. ^^

message 8: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments Me too. ^^' I've always wanted blueish hair, but going from dark to light is hard and I wouldn't want my hair to stay like that.

message 9: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments Ahhhh I remember this. It is time to take it up again I suppose. ^^

message 10: by Ash (new)

Ash (ashyboy) | 16 comments Good lord I need to edit this though.

back to top