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I hate sewing

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message 1: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) I have been immersed in a new design project featuring TEXTILES which happen to be the bane of my existence. They JUST WON'T BEHAVE!!!! Why is it that half of the things I finish look like they were sewn by a retarded five year old???

Several people who have been to my studio to see my cracktastic creations have encouraged me to go on Project Runway. I can hear Michael Kors now: "Oh my gawd, it's so home sewn!!" Bastard. And Heidi Klum, that Nazi... she'd never walk around in my farmhouse chic, eco-friendly, repurposed nightmares.

::::cries::::

Fuck you, sewing. I hate you.


message 2: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen I think it's funny that sewing, such a domestic pursuit, can bring about vulgar language that would make a sailor blush.

I never curse so horrifically as when I'm sewing!


message 3: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) you too??? OMG... I swear, my machine is lucky that it hasn't been chucked out the window into the street!! I only swear this much when I'm driving.


message 4: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen I've been in a car with you...you speak the truth.


Servius  Heiner So you're saying I shouldn't get my wife a sewing machine? she has been asking for one for years.

I have been side stepping that because well; WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING EXSPENSIVE!

I just tell her that if some Asian kid can sew all day for a bowl of rice she can sew by hand. But that is wearing off and she wants one. But I don't want her running around cussing all day, then she would sound like me.


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Why does she have to have your permission? That surprises me.


Servius  Heiner She doesn't need to have my permission, my wife just likes when (I) buy her stuff. Particularly when it cost a lot of money, until she makes it big as a writer I am the primary fiscal provider for our house. So if something is expensive she will tell me she wants it. I buy it and she is guilt free. My deal with The sewing machine is they are overpriced. I hate wasteful spending... I know I know is it wasteful if it makes her happy...


message 8: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments yeah why ARE they so fucking expensive? They must do some shit I don't know about besides stab a needle and thread through a piece of cloth really fast.


Servius  Heiner well the one she has been eyeballing embroiders too, and some other crafty shit that I know nothing about.


message 10: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen the embroidery machines are insane expensive. did she sew in the past, does she know she loves it? because if not, she should probably get a starter machine (cheap) and find out if she wants to keep sewing or if she wants to rip someone's head off due to the frustration that it can induce.

If she does already know - you should buy her the expensive one. she lives in Alaska for cripes sake, she needs something to do!


Servius  Heiner My wife is a creator; she creates:

Works of fiction

Knits

Spins fibers into yarn on her spinning wheel, and drop spindle?

She embroiders

She made the blanket and green star pillow in my avatar. and the quilt on our bed, and the puppy blanket and way to much other stuff to mention. Yeah she is a seasons crafty bitch. But I really don't want to spend upwards of 2k on a sewing machine. But I guess I can, you know to do my part as a conservative and stimulate the economy, since my government doesn't seem interested in doing it.


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

She should have a sewing machine, then. When's her birthday? Remember your birthday thread for her? Was that in Axis?


Servius  Heiner yes it was, her B-day just passed, she got an Ipod touch and an Iphone, why she wanted both I don't know they are the same thing but one makes phone calls. She already had a cell phone. But she has a great smile so...


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

CUTE!


message 15: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments awwww....that's sweet0


Servius  Heiner mmmm now I can spend some money on power tools, I could use a bigger band saw, and there is that radial arm saw that I have been pining over for a couple of years now... it's just so powerful, so versatile. I could mass produce trebuchets!


message 17: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments sorry...my 15-month-old added the o just as i was clicking "post".


Servius  Heiner baby typing... at lest you have an excuse for typo's I'm just to lazy to read what I type.


Servius  Heiner How did this thread mutate from Charissa and Marie hate/love to sew into Nick needs to buy ann a sewing machine?


You ladies are sneaky! Always working in unison together...


message 20: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 19, 2009 03:43PM) (new)

Buy her one today! Have it delivered and then tell us how it goes. For our entertainment.


Servius  Heiner I wouldn't be there when she received it. I'm not going to see her for another 3 weeks, I go home next week, but she is going to Chicago because my irresponsible tart of a sister in-law was knocked up by an old marine buddy, and is popping soon. So It will have to wait, and I promise to tell you all about it if/when I decide to get one for her.


message 22: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Yes! It's FEBRUARY for goodness sakes! Like Marie said what the fuck else can she do in Alaska in February?!?! Can you even get stuff shipped to Alaska in February or do they close everything down like in that dumbdumbdumb vampire movie?


Servius  Heiner UUUGHHHHH! Don't ever mention that retarded movie again! It was soooo stupid. No Alaska doesn't shut down in the winter, no the oil fields and pipeline is nowhere near barrow. And no it is not total darkness for 30 days. There is always at least an hour of nautical twilight.


message 24: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Oh I'm gonna mention again. right now even!

I'm with you friend. That movie was the retardedest. And I like nearly all vampire movies...even dumb ones. But that one was just to much to bear.


message 25: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) Which movie is this?


message 27: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) 30 days of night is the movie we're not ever supposed to mention again?


message 28: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) Why exactly is it that we're not supposed to mention 30 Days of Night?





Jackie "the Librarian" I think Nick didn't want us talking about 30 Days of Night. Right, Nick?


message 30: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Because 30 Days of Night is the most retardedest vampire movie ever and it gives Alaska a bad name to boot.


Servius  Heiner Bastards all...


message 32: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) NICK: I bought my sewing machine at Target for $100. It sews just fine and I've been sewing leather and thick sweater fabric on it. To start out that would be better than nothing at all. I can't vouch for a machine that costs 2K because I have never used one let alone owned one. I suppose if you want the thing to make fries that would be necessary, but I just want something that sews in a straight line.

I want to get an overlock machine next. They cost at least $300.

30 Days of Night sucks ass, but not as much as Twilight does.


message 33: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) I'm sorry, Nick. I didn't realize 30 Days of Night was such a traumatic thing for you. I shall endeavor never to mention 30 Days of Night again.


message 34: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) yes, the seamstress I am working with was just showing me her walking foot today. It looks like a transformer!! Bionic sewing!!


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

I've never seen 30 Days of Night.


message 36: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) ps Marie... HA HA HA HA HA HA... you survived riding in my car in SF. I should issue t-shirts.


message 37: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) Tambo! SHHH!!! Whether you've seen it or not, you're not supposed to mention 30 Days of Night. It upsets Nick.


message 38: by Kasia (new)

Kasia I've never heard about 30 Days of Night, is it a recent one?


message 39: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) whatever you do, don't click here http://www.horrorlair.com/movies/scri...


message 40: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) You wouldn't see 30 Days of Night {the film} itself, just to be clear. You would only see the script for 30 Days of Night {the film}... which is a real gem, I assure you.


message 41: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) Say...is it ok to mention the script for 30 Days of Night, as long as you don't mention the film 30 Days of Night?


message 42: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) I would have to say Yes!! I'm sure Nick wouldn't mind us talking about the script for the film 30 Days of Night... just so long as we don't actually discuss the film 30 Days of Night itself.


message 43: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (TomFoolery) You people are WAY too easily amused.


Servius  Heiner I feel the need to inform you that just because I'm operating in a target rich environment doesn't mean the accuracy of my trenched will be diminished. you have been warned.


message 45: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) meep! ::::hides in her bunker::::


Servius  Heiner Not at all.

Knights often became dazed when bombarded with exploding ordinance on the field of battle. Sometimes it was even at night.


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

I'm sorry, Nick! I promise that I will NEVER see 30 Days of Night! You have my word. (pat, pat)


Servius  Heiner Oh you can watch it if you want to Montambo, just don't complain to me about how dumb it was afterwards, you were warned.


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