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Posts Gone By > Shine Shine Shine: If humans do it, why do they do it? (Ch 6)

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message 1: by Andrew, Wound Up (new) - rated it 3 stars

Andrew Finazzo (johnyqd) | 316 comments Why do you think humans love, regret and forgive?

Forgive: As a human I know I'm not infallible, and the same is true of every other human. If the ability to forgive wasn't part of human nature we would all inevitably end up being isolated since every relationship would be doomed to failure from the outset.

Regret: Beyond logic humans hope to have intuition. We believe that it is possible to use emotion to navigate decisions. Although this seems illogical at a glance, it is required since most decisions are made with limited and imperfect information from the outset.

For example, I have to choose A or B, based on 10 facts. I know two facts support A, and one fact supports B. The other 7 are unknowable at this time. Logic says I should always choose A. Instead I will usually go on my gut feeling instead, relying on intuition.

Regret is simply a logical emotional response which hopefully has the result of encouraging us to better use our intuition.

Love: This is the hard one right? I'm hesitant to even take a shot here, but why not. Love is messy, sticky, illogical, and even crazy. It is different from most emotional relationships in that it is an internal feeling versus an external response. For example friendship means "I enjoy being with you" whereas love means "I feel joy when I am with you".

Humans fall in love because it provides a consistent happiness. Uncountable different things about a person make you fall in love with them, oftentimes inexplicable in that the same thing that makes you love a person might also irritate you. When in love you might be angry at a person, but you still love them. Love is a humans way of striving for a stable happiness or joy.

Obviously people can fall out of love, or lose the other person for any number of reasons. Thankfully our nature lets us take chances, make gambles, which let us reach for happiness even if we might get hurt during the process.

Those are my thoughts, I'm interested to see what conclustions Maxon reaches & to hear what all you Mic Breakers think!


message 2: by Sally (new)

Sally Brown | 8 comments This is an interesting question one that I probably never would have pondered, since from infancy 2 of the 3 are instilled in us by our family and loved ones (well at least I hope all babies are loved). Parents are constantly showing babies how they are loved and that makes the baby happy. To fall in love is just like choosing a best friend, this person makes you feel loved and cared for and you can't imagine not having that feeling or that person everyday. I am not sure where you learn that. I know I watched my parents and always hoped to have someone to make me as happy as they made each other so I guess again my parents taught me to search for that. Regret I think we could say is also taught by families. What I mean is when you do something bad your parents punish you and you end up regretting your choice because of your consequence. Forgiveness I agree with Andrew no one wants to hold on to something that happened and push everyone away so you find yourself alone full of regret in a world where you are taught to love!


message 3: by Michelle, Overrun By Pets (last edited Oct 18, 2012 01:40PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Michelle Finazzo | 225 comments The acts of love, forgiveness and regret are all acts that are bigger than just you. All play an important role in becoming a complete, well-rounded person who continues to grow and learn and improve. All three push you beyond the normal comfortable boundary of self and allow an expansion of perspective, interpersonal relationships and connection with others.

Love is exciting, it is comforting, it is fulfilling, it is the way people forge bonds far beyond physical proximity. It has the power to inspire, to destroy, to change the world. It has the power to change you, to modify your perspective and your priorities and how you live.

Forgiveness allows us to embrace the inherent fallibility of human nature. To acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, that we can overcome, that we can grow, that we can do better. Sometimes people do the best they can and sometimes it isn't enough, but human nature gives us the ability to forge ahead past mistakes big and small. When someone asks for forgiveness, it is within you to say yes. The amazing lifting of burden and feeling of freedom that forgiveness can give both of you.

Regret is a way of acknowledging that you may have made a bad decision. The outcome may have been different than your intent. It is a critique of what could have been had different decisions been made. What might have been a better choice, how you may react differently next time. It is an assessment of cause and effect. It is a realization of more than self. Sometimes it is an over-analyzation.

We generally want to do right, we want to establish relationships. We want it to be about more than just us. These acts allow us unlimited growth, fulfillment, motivation.


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