Completists' Club discussion

104 views
Music Completists

Comments (showing 1-50 of 50) (50 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments As per request from Anto: to discuss completion of musical canons. I'm not organising this thread by artist as well, otherwise the quite-crucial literary aspect of this group will be ovepowered, so let chaos reign.


message 2: by Paul (last edited Sep 25, 2012 01:38PM) (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments The problem with musical completeness is that there is usually at least 25 bootlegs you have not heard of, certainly for any artist in the last 20 years. However, I am a Jimmie Rodgers completist



and also John Fahey



and 99% Incredible String band



and as-near-as-dammit Shirley Collins



(Shirley on the right, sister Dolly on the left)


message 3: by s.penkevich (new)

s.penkevich (spenkevich) | 4 comments Woah, I don't think I'd ever seen a picture of young Fahey until just now.


message 4: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments here's another




message 5: by s.penkevich (new)

s.penkevich (spenkevich) | 4 comments Nice. And then bald spot and beard set in. I am quite envious of the beard (and guitar picking)


message 6: by Aloha (new)

Aloha | 148 comments Ooh, I'll have to check up on this when I'm back at my desk.


message 7: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments this is maximum fahey beard




message 8: by s.penkevich (new)

s.penkevich (spenkevich) | 4 comments Ha, I was JUST about to post that exact picture


message 9: by Geoff (new)

Geoff | 53 comments Fahey grew up in Takoma Park, Maryland, basically where I live. You can still go find his childhood house, and the houses around here where he recorded his early stuff. I'm not a Fahey completist, but he is certainly one of the greats of all time.


message 10: by Dharmakirti (last edited Sep 24, 2012 08:18AM) (new)

Dharmakirti | 27 comments A couple of artists I would really love to have the complete works of:

Tori Amos - I have all the major albums and box sets (official bootlegs and the Piano collection), but I don't have Y Kant Tori Read and am missing a number of singles from the early days.

Diamanda Galás - She's one of my all time favorites. As far as I know, I have most of her solo catalog, I am missing her out of print self-titled release from 1984 that contains the tracks Panopticon and Songs From the Blood of Those Murdered.
She's made guest appearances on a number of albums. The ones I own are: Recoil's Liquid where she provides vocals for the track Strange Hours (which was my first exposure to her), Khan's album No Comprendo where she provides vocals for the track Aman, Erasure's self-titled album where she provides some vocals on the tracks Rock Me Gently and Angel.

I am workin on collecting the recordings of the pianist Martha Argerich. This is something I've only recently started so I have quite a bit of work (and research) to do. I have the first 2 Argerich collections (one is solo piano the other is concertos) put out on Deutsche Grammophon as well her AMAZING recording of Rachmaninoff's Concerto No. 3 on the DECCA label.

I also have the collection of all nine Beethoven symphonies recorded by the Minnesota Orchestra conducted by Osmo Vänskä and they are FANTASTIC, a must for any Beethoven fan.


message 11: by Lobstergirl (new)

Lobstergirl | 122 comments Dharmakirti wrote: "I am workin on collecting the recordings of the pianist Martha Argerich."



I'd like to own the complete Maurizio Pollini, Murray Perahia, and Dinu Lipatti, among others. Those are probably my top three at the moment.


message 12: by Ben (last edited Sep 24, 2012 07:44PM) (new)

Ben Winch (ben_winch) | 20 comments I think someone mentioned Bowie completism in another thread? Not sure if you're interested, but I just read a great interview he did with Cameron Crowe in 1976:
Bowie: But let's be honest: my rhythm and blues are totally plastic. Young Americans, is, I would say, the definitive plastic soul record. It's the squashed remains of ethnic music as it survives in the age of Muzak rock, written and sung by a white limey. If you had played Young Americans to me five years ago and said, 'This is an R&B album,' I would have laughed. Hysterically.

Crowe: How about if we had said, 'This is going to be your album five years from now'?

Bowie: I would have thrown you and the record out of my house.

Ha! You've gotta love anyone who can talk about his own music like that, especially since it's pretty much true, no matter how funky some of the tracks on that album are. Genius.

As to music completism, I don't practise it, but power to those who do.


message 13: by MJ (last edited Sep 25, 2012 12:48AM) (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments Brilliant. I was (am?) a Bowie completist up to the Let's Dance album (including the 60s Decca years stuff), but then he made it hard for me by becoming absolutely unlistenable. I picked him up again at Outside and Heathen, the latter being a breathtakingly beautiful record.


message 14: by MJ (last edited Sep 25, 2012 12:45AM) (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments As to completism in general, I tried this with the studio albums of The Fall. Sadly I failed since I never picked up a copy of Code: Selfish, and haven't heard their latest yet. But I 92% passed on that one seeing their discog is enormous. I also, tragically, did a Fall listopia.

Edit: The studio non-soundtrack albums of Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. 100% completion with them! :)


message 15: by Ben (last edited Sep 25, 2012 12:46AM) (new)

Ben Winch (ben_winch) | 20 comments I loved that song 'I'm Deranged' from Lost Highway - is that on Heathen? Whatever record it is, I listened to the rest of it and some of it was good, but I couldn't get into it all. He still has his moments, just very few. His live band of recent years is scorching, though, and he still sings beautifully. Overall, I'm with you, except for that 60s stuff - 70s all the way.


message 16: by MJ (last edited Sep 25, 2012 12:53AM) (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments 'I'm Deranged' is from Outside. 'The Heart's Filthy Lesson' appears on the credits of David Fincher's Seven too. It is a strange mess that album, an attempt to start a series of postapocalyptic records that never quite happened. Brian Eno adds quite a lot of stardust to the best songs on there.

All the records from Space Oddity to Scary Monsters are faultless to me. (Including Young Americans, which I'll concede is a minor plastic stumble among the brilliance).


message 17: by Ben (new)

Ben Winch (ben_winch) | 20 comments Hmm. Well I can't agree they're faultless. Heroes, The Lodger, Scary Monsters, Young Americans - they've all got unlistenable moments in my book, but I agree they ascend to very great heights as well. That to me is the genius of late-70s Bowie, that he's unafraid to fail.

'Heart's Filthy Lesson' - yeah, I was trying to remember that one. That was OK too. But a bizarre album overall. Eno is obviously brilliant too - where would U2 be without him?


message 18: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments Oh I forgot Lodger! Yes, that isn't very good. Maybe I exaggerate in my quest for perfection. The instrumentals on Low sort of blow chunks too.


message 19: by Ben (new)

Ben Winch (ben_winch) | 20 comments Yeah I've never much liked those instrumentals either - glad to hear you say that. But I almost think of them as Eno more than Bowie. To me the only perfect Bowie record is Ziggy Stardust, but that's not to say it's the best.


message 20: by Ben (new)

Ben Winch (ben_winch) | 20 comments Oh, and Station to Station is pretty close.


message 21: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments Aladdin Sane I would bung in there too. Station to Station most definitely.


message 22: by Ben (new)

Ben Winch (ben_winch) | 20 comments Yeah I thought about Aladdin Sane - I'll give you that one, though it's years since I've listened to it right through. But I did used to love it from start to finish.


message 23: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments I'm a David Bowie token-albumist, which is the opposite of a completist. The token Bowie album I have is Low. Love those instrumentals...


message 24: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments Tonight is your favourite. Admit it.


message 25: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments oh no, it's that really great duet with Mick Jagger he did once. That was a real toe-tapper. And a chart topper. A chart-topping toe-tapper. I forgot it's name.


message 26: by Antonomasia (last edited Sep 25, 2012 08:12AM) (new)

Antonomasia Or what about some Tin Machine? :)

Though I do love some of the stuff you people don't, especially the 60's / Deram / Pye work - I've been listening to the compilations after reading this thread this morning. It's a mystery to me why it didn't have a revival in the 90's Britpop era along with The Kinks and other oompah music-hall influenced sounds ... it would have fitted perfectly. I think the first album suffers from being so different to subsequent material and not fitting with the Bowie Classic Rock Canon. More people might enjoy if if they didn't expect it to. It's great, so much fun, so clever, silly, sinister, imaginative. I can't believe he wrote those lyrics when he was only 19.

Other favourites: Station to Station, Aladdin Sane, Low, and increasingly, Ziggy, which actually used to bore me before I really got into Bowie. (I know, I don't understand either.) Also have a soft spot for some of Black Tie White Noise as it was the first of his albums I heard, not long after it was released. Baal and the Buddha of Suburbia soundtrack are really interesting ones that don't get enough attention.

And the 80's albums are IMO just bad by contrast with his other stuff. I'd rather listen to somewhat-bad-Bowie than 3/4 of the stuff on the radio. Tin Machine is more than I can tolerate though ... all that forgettable fretwank is utterly contrary to what Bowie generally stands for as far as I'm concerned. (Despite that famous Phil Collins quote, he really doesn't sound quite that boring on the 80's stuff... and I do rather delight in the contrariness of not minding it.)

This all makes me want to hunt B-sides I haven't heard, but I haven't found a page which lists all the singles and B-sides in one go. My RSI is playing up at the moment and I don't want the pain of hundreds of clicks around Discogs.

Completism as in hearing everything is so much easier these days.

Paul, are you an oldskool completist of your favourite artists, collecting all the vinyl and/or CDs?


message 27: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments nope, I'm not a thing-ist, I collect the music itself. Although I do have John Fahey's double-78 issue on Perfect Records.


message 28: by Antonomasia (new)

Antonomasia Paul wrote: "nope, I'm not a thing-ist, I collect the music itself. Although I do have John Fahey's double-78 issue on Perfect Records."
You have a record player that will play 78s? Fantastic.

Thing-ism must get terribly expensive for some. £1300 for these rare box sets :O


message 29: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls (MJNicholls) | 211 comments Antonomasia wrote: "It's great, so much fun, so clever, silly, sinister, imaginative. I can't believe he wrote those lyrics when he was only 19"

I agree, the lyrics are the strongest part of those early DeccaDeram songs. Some of them are quite funny and catchy in a Kinks-ish way. I haven't heard any Tin Machine, mercifully. Phew. Anto, what's your take on Heathen? I listened again today and I'm convinced it's one of his strongest, most affecting albums.


message 30: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments I think the reply to that is that Spotify is not complete itself.


message 31: by Arielle (last edited Sep 25, 2012 05:26PM) (new)

Arielle Walker (ariellewalker) | 1 comments Pink Floyd, definitely. And Radiohead - I am an "oldschool" completist as mentioned above (or soon to be), I own nearly the whole digital discography of both bands but desperately want it all on vinyl! (and CD I suppose, just for car listening)


message 32: by Geoff (new)

Geoff | 53 comments Sonic Youth, Nick Cave, Dirty Three, Dinosaur Jr., Swans, Fugazi, Spacemen 3, Velvet Underground, Tortoise, Cass McCombs, The Smiths (...can anyone tell I came of age in the USA in the 1990's and had a penchant for marijuana?...) are artists which I have every conceivable recording of, except for ultra-rare bootleggy stuff...

(then there's the weirdo jazz and noise stuff, which I won't bother going into.)


message 33: by Antonomasia (last edited Sep 26, 2012 07:18AM) (new)

Antonomasia Then of course if it's digital you get into sound quality issues...(It's often cheaper buying old CDs than mp3s anyway so that solves the problem ... whilst creating a space problem if you're in a small house.

Hopefully still talking reasonable sense though I am very fuzzy-headed today; I put some onions in a cutlery drawer earlier, laughed, realising a minute later it was the wrong place for them, but stared at them unable to immediately realise where they should be


Bowie - Heathen
Deram was Decca's hipper, younger subsidiary so you're not that wrong. :)
Musically Heathen contains a lot of shades of the 70's material, which inevitably makes it more enjoyable if that's what you like best - as most Bowie fans do. But enough of the electronic 90s sound to make it sound a bit different too.
I like his older, deeper voice on it
Occasional sense of tiredness which is perhaps inevitable with ageing (if you're self-aware about it, and don't fight against the tide as much as some ageing rockers do) There are days for that sort of thing though ... Similarly, I quite like Toy but mostly would mostly rather listen to the original versions of the songs from when he was young.
Toy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Zuucx...

Tin Machine
I know a few people, one with generally exquisite taste, who prefer TM to the 80's material - though I don't know anyone who's a big fan of either. It seems like a question of aesthetics and politics - muso musicianship vs plastic 80's corporate sellout Bowie. And I was a kid (tween as they'd say now) during the days of Stock Aitken Waterman etc so for me there's something kinda fun about the sound of a lot of 80's pop as long as it's the upbeat stuff.

The Fall
Code Selfish was my first Fall album as it was the only one my local public library had. It was also the first music I put on in my halls of residence when I moved in... I aspired to get all their stuff when I was about 19, and probably ended up with 10-15 albums in the end, then years later the 5 disc box set. But I've gone off The Fall a lot in the past couple of years. I'm biased to more melodic, less hyper sounds these days and the only album of theirs I might still listen to in its entirety is The Infotainment Scan. (Another casualty of this has been Talking Heads.) I prefer it when MES appears in cameos on other albums, so I only get small doses, e.g. Plastic Beach, or How I Wrote Elastica Man. Renegade was very funny - he'd be great to listen to ranting in the pub but you really wouldn't want to work for him.
The Fall are probably the only famous band I've seen as many as 3 times.

The Smiths
I was a completist of official Smiths recordings (no bootlegs) in my teens. Mostly they were on copied cassettes though, and a few bought; I didn't go to record fairs and track down vinyl from 1984 or owt. But even more than The Fall, I am tired of The Smiths; every song of theirs seems worn out and overplayed and to have lost most of its meaning. I virtually never put them on myself now.

HTML hurts just now so I'm giving up on italicising for the moment.


message 34: by Dharmakirti (last edited Sep 26, 2012 09:02AM) (new)

Dharmakirti | 27 comments Geoff wrote: "then there's the weirdo jazz and noise stuff, which I won't bother going into"


Please do, I'm interested in what you consider to be weirdo jazz and noise...are you talking about artists like Fred Frith? Merzbow?

And now that I'm thinking about jazz, I will mention that I'm working on collecting all of Matthew Shipp's output. So far, my favorite is his double disc "Art of the Improviser." I also love his work with David S. Ware, especially the albums Surrendered and Wisdom of Uncertainty.


message 35: by Nate D (new)

Nate D (rockhyrax) | 118 comments Paul wrote: "I'm a David Bowie token-albumist, which is the opposite of a completist. The token Bowie album I have is Low. Love those instrumentals..."

This!

Actually, Bowie's generally wonderful, I just find myself ambiently saturated in him, such that I don't have to expend effort of my own to hear him. Low is just the one I love that isn't as widely played.

I think I used to be more of a completist before everything became digital, making CDs more or less just vehicles to mp3. I would be more of an LP completist, now, only they tend to be crazy expensive once you scratch beneath the bigger stuff.

Some completist CD-buying streaks from highschool and college, though, albeit ages ago:
-Squarepusher
-Future Sound of London
-Mountain Goats
-NIN


message 36: by Geoff (new)

Geoff | 53 comments Dharmakirti wrote: "Geoff wrote: "then there's the weirdo jazz and noise stuff, which I won't bother going into"


Please do, I'm interested in what you consider to be weirdo jazz and noise...are you talking about art..."


As far as weirdo jazz, I guess I meant like Albert Ayler, David Ware, Matt Shipp is great, William Parker, that whole crowd, late-period Coltrane, Don Cherry, Marion Brown, Archie Shepp, Joe McPhee, Charles Gayle, Cecil Taylor, those balls-out eastern europeans like Peter Brotzmann, Mats Gustafsson, Paal Nilssen-Love, also Evan Parker, Chris Corsano, Paul Flaherty, Fred Anderson, Sunny Murray, etc. so many, and I have tons of this stuff...

Along the lines of noise I'm thinking of Yellow Swans, John Weise, Sunn O))), Harry Pussy, Sun City Girls, Dead C, Tim Hecker, Fennesz, Boredoms, Lightning Bolt, stuff like that. Then more compositional stuff like William Basinski, Jason Urik, John Cage, Keith Fullerton Whitman, etc. I just have gobs of this type of music about in different formats, and some of these are approaching completist action.


message 37: by Antonomasia (last edited Sep 27, 2012 09:17AM) (new)

Antonomasia Geoff, have you heard America by Dan Deacon? Going by your list of noise / instrumental composition artists you might like it.

I have bits and pieces by a few of those electronic artists (Sunn O))), Tim Hecker, Fennesz, KFW [see what I did there?], Cage) but this reminds me of my just-about-completism of Lindstrom: I would buy compilations just to get one or two tracks by him, get his remixes of other people's stuff. (His remix of Roxy Music - I could hardly imagine anything better - was crushingly disappointing though.) Not that obsessive now but still quite a big fan.


message 38: by Geoff (new)

Geoff | 53 comments Yeah I dig that Dan Deacon record. I live right outside of DC and have spent copious amounts of time in Baltimore, some of it playing music, and Dan came to one of my shows. He's a huge presence there (pun intended, he's a large guy)... and it's great to see how he's evolving. Jason Urik is from Baltimore too and a wonderful composer/musician/all around good guy to know. If you haven't checked his stuff out I highly recommend it. I actually don't know much Lindstrom, though I feel like I should.


message 39: by Dan's (last edited Sep 28, 2012 06:28AM) (new)

Dan's Obsessions | 5 comments Artist´s I ´ve yet to see their albums complet´d on my shelves ( BUt I have heard every single bit of their work anywayz)

* Peter Hammil '43 solo albums & 5 I think Van der Graaf Generator (not incl Live' bootleg performances)

* Gentle Giant. an amazing baroque'folk rock band, pretty famous in the U.S. back in their heyday

* Tangerine Dream ( all the EMI albums re'issues - α φες ΟST^s) also solo works from..
-ΕDgar Froese
-Paul Haslinger
& last but not least K.S. the famous
--Klaus Schulze--
Ofcourse I am missing a lot on the late re-issues of and T.D. release. or upcomming Live-concert ones, unless they were conducted in EU Soil.
Like the famous show K.S. did w/ Lisa Gerard ( so any suggestions wuold be more than welcome from other afficionados)


message 40: by Antonomasia (new)

Antonomasia Geoff wrote: "Yeah I dig that Dan Deacon record. I live right outside of DC and have spent copious amounts of time in Baltimore, some of it playing music, and Dan came to one of my shows."
Fantastic! He's a recent discovery for me; I saw this - probably the most intelligent new pop interview I've read this year - and decided I had to hear the guy's music.
http://www.thelineofbestfit.com/featu...
It was a good find.

Lindstrom is quite a bit more melodic, poppy even, than the artists you mention, but I discovered him around the same time. I'd really recommend him to people who like the LoW instrumentals and who also like contemporary electronic / dance.

--------

Scott Walker - w00t! I have just been watching 30th Century Man which has made me want to listen to his recent experimental classical albums. So far I only know Scotts 1-4 and Til the Band Comes In.


message 41: by Antonomasia (new)

Antonomasia Scott 3 > Scott 4 IMO. I listened to 4 a few times when younger, but it was only when I heard 3 that the awesomeness of Walker clicked 100% into place.

Not sure about Climate of the Hunter based on the clips in the documentary, but I like experimental classical anyway ... just had absolutely no idea that Walker was involved in it: looking forward to Tilt & The Drift. And maybe even the upcoming one.


message 42: by David (new)

David Merrill | 35 comments I'm probably close on a lot of artists at this point though most unintentionally. My step bro and I meshed our collections last year, partially as a trade and partially as a way of backing up all those mp3's. We each had about 20,000 tunes and as it turned out, very little overlap. Even bands where he had some and I had some it was almost as though we called each other and said, you buy these and I'll buy these. I have like 35 Kiss albums. The ones I've intentionally tried to complete are Johnny Clegg (Juluka and Savuka), the Fixx, Roxy Music, Icehouse, Yes, U2, REM, Simple Minds Angelique Kidjo, Bonnie Pink, The Verve Pipe and Brian Vander Ark, The Cardigans, St. Etienne, Steely Dan, FM, Ivy, The Sundays, Tears For Fears and Toad The Wet Sprocket. I'd say I'm reasonably close on all of them with at least the studio albums.


message 43: by Antonomasia (last edited Sep 28, 2012 05:44AM) (new)

Antonomasia Kaput wrote: "Fair enough, Scott 3 was the album which got me in to him (especially Windows Of The World) even if I now prefer 4. "Climate" is pretty experimental but I had an instinctual mistrust of all 80's a..."
It's the Scott Walker Sings Jacques Brel compilation I listen to most ... such huge energy accompanies the melancholy. You can't get things done to the sound of, say, Scott 3 in quite the same way. The Smiths -when I first got to love the combo of upbeat tunes and miserable lyrics - have such a thin sound by comparison. (I sometimes listen to original Brel, but my French isn't good enough to understand the lyrics as heard so it's more to create an atmosphere and I just let Spotify go on playing any old stuff of his for hours.)

Is there much satisfaction in hearing / buying the cheesy 70's Scott Walker stuff? Do you just listen once and never again?

Am interested in hearing this after seeing that documentary: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott:_S... It's dreadful they destroyed the rest of the recordings!


message 44: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments I'm completely (!) with you on Jacques Brel - I would like to be a Brel completist in English... I have Scott (brilliant) plus a (bad) marc Almond album of his versions and the cast recording of JB is alive and Well & Living in Paris, plus four weird rewrites by Momus. Any more?


message 45: by Antonomasia (new)

Antonomasia Paul wrote: "I'm completely (!) with you on Jacques Brel - I would like to be a Brel completist in English... I have Scott (brilliant) plus a (bad) marc Almond album of his versions and the cast recording of JB..."
http://www.discogs.com/Various-Next-B...

I didn't know about the Momus ones - I've heard some of the songs without realising! (Momus album completion was achieved this April or may.) Looks like there are a few, and Nicky isn't even in this list
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=mom...


message 46: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments Nicky by Momus is a total rewrite of Jackie and very strange but i do like it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1qvE...


message 47: by Antonomasia (new)

Antonomasia Paul wrote: "Nicky by Momus is a total rewrite of Jackie and very strange but i do like it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1qvE..."

If Momus weren't strange it would be ... strange.


message 48: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments I'll send in the Momusbrel (like Brundlefly) lyrics later when I get home, they're worth perusing


message 49: by Antonomasia (last edited Sep 28, 2012 10:15AM) (new)

Antonomasia :) Momus and Brel are both mostly about sex and death so it's a natural overlap - though Momus, as far as I can tell, has considerably more ego.

Wikipedia's list of Brel covers... this is epic, and not a few are English versions:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_...

Blink 182's Seasons in the Sun is the most unexpected.

ETA: a search for "jacques brel documentary" found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ptwXj... bbc one.
the other longer pieces don't have english subtitles and make me feel like I'm preparing for A-level French listening all over again.


message 50: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant | 37 comments momusbrel!

First, the Mort Shuman English lyrics as sung by our Scott

And if one day I should become
A singer with a Spanish bum
Who sings for women of great virtue
I'd sing to them with a guitar
I borrowed from a coffee bar
Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you
My name would be Antonio
And all my bridges I would burn
And when I gave them some they'd know
I'd expect something in return
I'd have to get drunk every night
And talk about virility
With some old grandmother
That might be decked out like a christmas tree

And though pink elephants I'd see
Though I'd be drunk as I could be
Still I would sing my song to me
About the time they called me "Jackie"

If I could be for only an hour
If I could be for an hour every day
If I could be for just one little hour
Cute in a stupid ass way

And if I joined the social whirl
Became procurer of young girls
Then i would have my own bordellos
My record would be number one
And I'd sell records by the ton
All sung by many other fellows
My name would then be handsome Jack
And I'd sell boats of opium
Whisky that came from Twickenham
Authentic queers
And phony virgins
If I had banks on every finger
A finger in every country
And every country ruled by me
I'd still know where I'd want to be
Locked up inside my opium den
Surrounded by some china men
I'd sing the song that I sang then
About the time they called me "Jackie"

Now, tell me, wouldn't it be nice
That if one day in paradise
I'd sing for all the ladies up there
And they would sing along with me
And we be so happy there to be
Cos' down below is really nowhere
My name would then be Juniper
Then I would know where I was going
And then I would become all knowing
My beard so very long and flowing
If I became deaf, dumb and blind
Because I pitied all mankind
And broke my heart to make things right
I know that every single night
When my angelic work was through
The angels and the Devil too
Would sing my childhood song to me
About the time they called me "Jackie"

If I could be for only an hour
If I could be for an hour every day
If I could be for just one little hour
Cute in a stupid ass way

MOMUS VERSION

NICKY

Suppose one day in Bromley, Kent
I live my nightmare and am sent
To sing for blonde suburban women
Before the wives of double-glazers
I'd be Julio Inglesias
Doing the greats in Argentinian

Suppose they Barry Manilow me
Screaming "Show me you're a man"
With legs as mottled as salami
Ladies, I'm doing the best I can
This is how Casanova's bum
becomes a lesson in virility
Set to a bossanova drum
Sung to tarts decked out like Christmas trees

Then in my dressing room I'd see
This elephant as pink as me
Drinking and singing gloomily
About the time they called me, yeah the time the called me,
About the time they called me "Nicky"

If I could be him! For only an hour
If I could be him! Before his grand finale
If I could be me, if I could only be cute, cute, cute, absolutely banal!

Suppose one evening in Mauritius
Entertaining high officials
High on whores and marijuana
Begging letters from celebrities
Begging "Couldn't you write songs for me?"
I'd blackmail David Bowie and the Dalai Lama

And I'd be an industrialist of song
And I could sell with a wink
The best in showbiz and in drink
Korean floorshows, whiskey from the Congo?
Me, I'd have a ring on every finger
And a thumb in every stake
And every stake would be the singer's
Unacknowledged, I would legislate

The in my Hong Kong orchid den
Waiting for 1999
I'd spend the years of my decline
Do you remember the time they called me
yeah the time they called me,
Oh the time they called me "Nicky"

If I could be him! For only an hour
If I could be him! Before his grand finale
If I could be me, if I could only be cute, cute, cute, absolutely banal!

Suppose one day in paradise
I find myself to my surprise
Singing for ladies flapping swans wings
And plucking on my little harp
I'd be a beacon in the dark
And save the souls of human beings

Then Jesus Christ has hardly christened me
Son-of-the-one-in-the-directory
Between Vic and Jean-Luc Goddard
And I grow my beard and walk on water
And if I really came on strong
And started prancing and Cliff Richard-ing
I know it wouldn't be too long
Before I heard the shadows whispering

How Satan's come in from the cold
He's now the shepherd in his fold
They're shouting out requests for oldies
From the time they called me, yeah the time they called me,
Yeah the time they called me "Nicky"

If I could be him! For only an hour
If I could be him! Before his grand finale
If I could be me, if I could only be cute, cute, cute, good, absolutely banal!

He could fall asleep at night
He could fall in love all right
He could fall asleep at night


back to top