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Dating (Advice, etc.) > Sex and fat people: Behind the flab

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message 1: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Sep 20, 2012 07:33AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
Did you know that fat women are far more likely to have an orgasm than a thinner woman?

Did you know that fat women are more likely to want and be ready for sex more often than a thinner woman?

'Tis true. According to "Weight Watchers" magazine in their own poll. fat women fare better at sex than a thinner woman does. It is often said that our most important sex organ is our brain. Yet, when our brain is filled with negative talk,ideas,abuse, and other not so great things, it is hard to think about being sexy.

We get so many messages from all over every day that we are somehow unworthy of love, of friends, of anything really because we are not thin as our insurance companies would like us to be. Imaginary numbers that are supposedly our desired weight for our heights and BMI's are useless numbers that mean nothing to anyone unless it involves making you feel bad about who you are so that you will buy into their latest diet plan.

We are who we are. We may lose weight as we become healthier,but we will always be larger than others. We are who we are, and that is fine. We are big, sexy,worthy people who are indeed sexual beings. We have desires, fantasies, and feelings like anyone else. We deserve how to books for our size, lingerie in our size, and respect.

We are blessed with more skin,which is the largest organ any human possesses. All of your nerve endings are in your skin, so use it as your greatest sexual tool. Edible body paint, whipped cream, all sorts of things can be utilized on a lager canvass, so have fun with it.

Not every position will work for every one every time, so do what you need to do to make things work. Use pillows, hang off of the bed if you have too, have special furniture made to hold the both of you (or more) so that you're comfortable. Experiment with modified positions, heck, invent new ones! The sky's the limit!

If you have trouble with a standard position, due to physical limitations, (such as belly size) try being on top! You might just surprise yourself and your partner. You are not going to harm them if you are smart about how you do it. Make sure you are on a soft surface that will absorb the gravity. Try it in a pool!

If that is not for you, learn one thing and learn it well. Oral sex is something many men resist doing on women, yet love having done to them. Many men complain about a woman's hygiene, while not worrying too much about theirs. So, both of you take a moment before sex (this goes for you same sex couples too!) to wash up a little before hand. That way, every one is happier. I mean really men, do you think woman truly like putting THAT in their mouths after who knows where it's been all day without a little clean up?

Let's talk about something the sex books NEVER tell you. Farting. Yes, we all fart and yes it happens while you are being intimate. As long as you don't toot in somebody's face on purpose, laugh it off. If you do toot in the face on accident, apologize, laugh it off, and move on. It's just a fart, not the end of the world.

Intimacy is a very good thing, but sex is not always the best way to get there. Try snuggling and cuddling in bed instead of sex. One our favorites is a chest cuddle when we don't have time for sex, are too tired or if one of us (namely me) just needs to be held. I fall asleep on his chest,listening to his heart. Sometimes, we cuddle as a prelude to sex, with as much skin touching, which is recommended by many sex doctors as a way of promoting more intimacy, and since fat people have more skin....

Are we fat? Yes. Are we proud? We should be. Are we sexy? Darn tooting! Life is too short to be with a partner who doesn't find you sexy all over. If you with somebody like that, they're not worth it. Buy a toy or two and have fun while you look for the best partner you deserve, and then put those toys to good more good use.

We are in this together, so we may as well enjoy the ride.

message 2: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
Another thing we need to address on the subject of sex, is flab itself. We all have it, we all live with it, and we all let it dictate how we see ourselves. Putting aside the "chubby chaser" who only likes us for our flab, how do we address a partner to our naked body and feel good about it? We probably don't,do we? We cover up, leave the lights off,jump into bed before they do, etc. as if our partners don't know we're fat from the get go.

Seriously,WHY do we do this to ourselves? The fat is there, deal with it. I remember the first time Narzain and I saw each other naked. I was 31,still a virgin,and had never dated before, so this was huge that somebody wanted to see me naked. The lights were on for cripes sake! Narz wears glasses, so I was thinking, "O.K., maybe he won't see so good without them,so maybe I'm fine." He sees just fine without them when he's up close. (Crud!)

I was so scared, my knees were knocking. I was so sure that he was going to be disgusted with me, that he would make me leave. I have stretch marks, fat rolls,a stomach that hangs down like a smile, dimples on my legs and butt,...."What am I thinking?!"

He was so sweet and so gentle with me, that I felt bad that I was so scared. He is still that sweet and that gentle and yes, we still leave the lights on. Narz has taught me not to fear my body, but to appreciate how much fun it can be. As I have said, if you are with somebody who doesn't appreciate ALL of you, they aren't worth it.

It is embarrassing still when we are doing something and my stomach bounces off of my thighs with a WHOP!, but we can laugh about it and keep going. That's the point I guess. Own your flab, funny noises and all. Sure it goes one way when I go the other causing me many balance issues, but it's mine and mine alone. None of us are perfect. Narz has a small spare tire of his own, which I think is very comfy, and yes, he has his own issues with how he looks, but to me his the handsomest man in the world.

That's all that matters in the end. How you look to yourself and to your partner. Both of you should be able to look at each other and yes, see the flaws, but find those flaws as something to love, not hate.

Embrace your flab, your partners flab and watch that blubber fly! Then, turn on the lights and revel in each others wonderfulness.

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