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Publishing and Promoting > FRIENDS THAT DISAPPOINT

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message 1: by Dawn (last edited Sep 14, 2012 03:54PM) (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments How many of you have felt disappointed by the people that have been part of your life ( close friends and relatives) not supporting you by ordering or reading your work?
I have literally begged some people to please order the EBOOK, but their answer is I am waiting for it to come out in print.
How do you deal with the hurt?


message 2: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Krisko (kakrisko) Well, some people don't like to read books on computers and a lot of people don't have ereaders, so I wouldn't let the "waiting for it to come out in print" thing bother you. In addition, not everyone is going to like the kind of things you write; for example, I write fantasy, but most of my close relatives don't read it and aren't interested. There's no sense in me forcing them to read it if they don't like that kind of stuff by making them feel guilty about not reading it. Let 'em know that it's out there and then DON'T ASK THEM if they've read it; if they have, they'll let YOU know. In the meantime, garner readers from other walks of your life...good luck!


message 3: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments thanks.. K.A. Makes me feel a bit better.


message 4: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Close friends and relatives are the absolute LAST people on Earth who I want reading my books (and I include zombies). They will recognize your composite characters, tell everybody they know that you got the facts wrong about your third grade report card, never get past page 13 and then forget where they put it.

They'll tell you how magnificent you are as an author, but won't remember your best lines. When pressed to write a review they will tell your potential readers how hard you tried to make your little book so funny and how they remember when you'd use diaper poop to write on the wall and they knew then and there you'd be a famous author some day.

Your spouse is already so sick of "the damn book", they're shopping for a 12-gauge divorce. It's probably unwise to ask them to buy a copy.

You're better off writing your own reviews under assumed names. Remember, Ted Kaczynski didn't beg his brother to read his "Manifesto" - but once it was published, it was only a matter of time before the entire Kaczynski clan knew what he'd done.

Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 5: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments Ah, I needed a good laugh. I never really thought of it like that. You are right, I think from now on I will use a pen name!


message 6: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments Many peers in my writers' groups are disappointing far more than my family and friends in the spirit of mutuality. As regards my kin and kindred souls, I feel quite fortunate. They have supported me by buying multiple copies of my book to give away as gifts, and when I've asked, they've gladfully done reviews of it. Best of all their reviews have covered my story, not anecdotes about me. But, then again, maybe they just don't have too many exciting ones to tell. Now, I'm depressed--LOL!


message 7: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments FIVE RULES OF HAPPINESS
-------------------------
1. Don't take your books so seriously. You're not Hemingway...nobody is. He used to be, but then he took his books too seriously and look what happened.

2. Leave your family alone. You've already caused enough anguish, what with childbirth pain and diapers and rebellious hippie boyfriends.

3. Find a mentor with an MFA and convince them to tell you the truth about your writing. Never reveal the name of your mentor. I was fortunate enough to find a half dozen or so and I love them crazy but they're all women and I'm pretty sure they live to torture men.

4. Use your stories to advance your ultimate goal of killing off all your enemies. Find pleasure in sadistic icepick stabbings, public crossbow murders, graphic dismemberment and other fun stuff. Remember to use their real names.

5. There is no number five. There used to be, but I forgot what it was...oh, wait. I think it was "be yourself". Or "be true to yourself". "Know thyself"? "Act natural"?

Jon
Author Behaving Badly

PS: #5 is "Have a cookie. You'll be right as rain in no time."


message 8: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments Way too funny, Jon...thanks for my laugh of the day! Only for #2, it's hard to leave your family alone if they won't leave you alone! I can't wait to get started on #4!!!!


message 9: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments Way too funny, Jon...thanks for my laugh of the day! Only for #2, it's hard to leave your family alone if they won't leave you alone! I can't wait to get started on #4!!!!


message 10: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments You gotta control them mouse spasms, Lisa.


message 11: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments Sorry...couldn't help it. Your comments were hysterical! I hope I didn't offend you by laughing.


message 12: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments i really do want that cookie, and I did make one of my enemies a nut job!


message 13: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Krisko (kakrisko) There is a T-shirt for sale out there somewhere that reads "Be nice to me or I'll put you in my next book".


message 14: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments love it.


message 15: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments How about "DIE, PROTAGONIST, DIE"


message 16: by John (new)

John McCarthy | 7 comments My family is more impressed by the writing of strangers who seem more exotic. They chase the current faves in the marketplace just like everyone else. If I ever hit it big they are out of the will.


message 17: by Jon (last edited Sep 15, 2012 08:40AM) (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments You quit listening to your parents when you were thirteen. It should come as no surprise they quit listening to you when you turned twelve.

Now you're fully grown. You've lived a full life -- earned a living, had a hip replaced, cheated a friend, texted in church, fornicated promiscuously in your imagination, driven drunk, and had pizza for breakfast.

Why in God's name do you want your parents to start paying attention to you NOW?

That said, you have a kicker of a story idea there (family gathering for reading of the will from a deceased 10-year old child)

Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 18: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments Anybody want that story? I'll take it! By the way, K.A. (from message #13), there's some real potential in marketing & promotion with a T-shirt like that. It'll turn some heads.....hmmmmmm.


message 19: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Dibs on the foreword. I'd take on the story myself but I'm inundated with a new book and a rewrite of "Abigail Dare".


Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 20: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments You've struck a bargain! Happy writing.


message 21: by Dawn (last edited Sep 15, 2012 10:01AM) (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments What we should have is a barter system.. We give each other names of people from our personal lives we want to demonize in our books so that we can't get sued for libel and slander. Because the author can say they made the name up, but we know the truth!


message 22: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments after reading the above message please destroy so the evidence is forever gone


message 23: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Don't slander them. Just do a personal history (in the style of "The Bridge at San Luis Rey") and then knock 'em over with a random shot from the bell tower.

Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 24: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Krisko (kakrisko) Lisa wrote: "Anybody want that story? I'll take it! By the way, K.A. (from message #13), there's some real potential in marketing & promotion with a T-shirt like that. It'll turn some heads.....hmmmmmm."

The T-shirt itself already exists - some of those catalogs that sell variety products sell them - but yeah, wearing it might generate conversation...


message 25: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments But Jon, that way they would still know that you are writing about them. I would love it if Stephen King took a few people from my past and turned them into demons ( Well they already are, but now it would be out in the open and they wouldn't have a clue


message 26: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments Hey Dawn, I'll bet you can find one on those people you like to demonize already written about in one of Stephen King's stories...after all, human nature is human nature!


message 27: by Dawn (last edited Sep 15, 2012 11:51AM) (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments You are right, I bet we all know a PERCY from THE GREEN MILE, AND HOW MANY OF THE Bitches from Carrie were personal acquaintances of mine


message 28: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments P.S. by the way Jon, just had 4 cookies, chips and fixing to have an ice cream sundae.


message 29: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments I'll bet you all want to demonize me right now for the grammatical errors in my message #26 above. CORRECTION: "one on those people you like" should be "one of those people you'd like"--those darn mouse spasms again--YIKES!!!


message 30: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments No, we will let you slide. You were probably taught by one of those evil teachers I ran into during my life...


message 31: by Hannah (new)

Hannah (normalgirl) | 398 comments Some times, I wish my family would STOP being so interested in my work. It's my stuff, stop trying to mess with it and try to find out if I wrote about you. I probably have. No need to heckle me about it with, "I'm I in it? Is that character baised off of me? Why did you make me a slut?" To which I have to answer, "Yes, you are in it. Yes, I baised Katherine off of you. You really are a big slut." Then, they have to go off so offended, because I answered them. From now on, I will ignore them.


message 32: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments Damned if you do or damned if you don't. I started using the names of special people in my life to portray the characters in white hats. But of course they find some problem with it. I just tell them, you will be happy when Lifetime turns it into a movie and you get famous. That satisfies them!


message 33: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Dawn wrote: "P.S. by the way Jon, just had 4 cookies, chips and fixing to have an ice cream sundae."

Grrrr. I need to go shopping!


message 34: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments In re: names of special people - I made up the name of a pornographic book in my latest story and accidentally used the name of one of my working group. She was unamused. "You will, of course, change it." Oh, but of course -- from her first name to her last name.

And "slut" is such a coarse word. I like "modestly challenged". If they object, they become a doomed retarded slut with a speech impediment.

"OH! Am I in your next little book?"
"Yeth. Yeth you are."


Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 35: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Potocar (lisapotocar) | 12 comments I'm dying here, Jon--stop giving me mouse spasms! Although, I don't see any of my messages replicated.


message 36: by Richard (new)

Richard (amazoncomauthorricharddparker) | 6 comments I'm truly enjoying this conversation...my Mom happens to be my greatest supporter. She carries around one of my books everywhere she goes. She's not reading it of course, she's just carrying it around and waiting patiently for someone to comment on it. She takes it to the doctor's office, to church, to bingo, to the craft fair. I'm very popular with the aged and in firmed in the Phoenix area.


message 37: by Hannah (new)

Hannah (normalgirl) | 398 comments Jon. Your name is a course word. How about John? It'll get you in touch with your softer side.


message 38: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Richard,

You're adopted.


Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 39: by Jon (last edited Sep 15, 2012 05:00PM) (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Hannah,

If you believe my critics, I couldn't find my softer side if I used both hands.

Jon
Author Behaving Badly


message 40: by Steven (new)

Steven Drachman | 169 comments I'm late to this discussion but I wanted to out in my two cents - in one of the books I read about self publishing, the author said, tell everyone you know about your book, and tell them to let people know who might be interested. Don't tell them to buy it and don't expect them to buy it. You want people to buy your book because it's a book that interests them, not because they feel an obligation. Then never never ask them if they've read it, or how it's coming. One friend of mine didn't speak to me for a year - when I finally got her on the phone, she said she hadn't called me because she felt guilty for not reading my book. I assured her that she should read my book If she felt like it, but I wouldn't be angry if she didn't. So cherish your friends, whether they read your book or not. Not all of them will.


message 41: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments It's not that they don't want to read it as much as they want the print version and not the EBOOK. A lot of them read the manuscript and loved it and brag about it. I was hoping that they would just spend the 5 dollars to help with making the book more successful. If the EBOOK sells well that it would be easier to get the print copy in more retail stores. I tried to explain that IT WOULD BE less than 20 for both and it would help me out. A lot of them are technically challenged and don't realize that they can read it on line, that they don't need to buy E READERS.Any way after all of your remarks I concede that you are right and I will just let sleeping dogs lie. It's holding it's own on AMAZON and NOOK...


message 42: by Steven (new)

Steven Drachman | 169 comments Well that's good news - congratulations. If it's doing well that's more than most Indies can say! And i agree with your conclusion - The main thing in self publishing is having fun - don't lose sleep, don't lose friends, do the best job you possibly can and be proud of what you've accomplished.


message 43: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments Thank you all for the feed back. I feel better already. ( the cookies helped too)


message 44: by Suzan (new)

Suzan Tisdale (suzantisdale) | 2 comments Jon wrote: "FIVE RULES OF HAPPINESS
-------------------------
1. Don't take your books so seriously. You're not Hemingway...nobody is. He used to be, but then he took his books too seriously and look what ha..."

Hilarious and spot on! ;o) Makes me want to read your work Jon!
And as my way of thanking you for making me laugh this morning, I'm sending each of you a package of virtual, calorie-free, guilt-free cookies! Oh, and a cup of coffee! ;o)


message 45: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Damn! Wouldn't you just know it...I've got cookies disabled!


message 46: by Jenn (new)

Jenn Thorson (jennthorson) | 30 comments I actually went into it with the idea that the folks closest to me wouldn't be interested in my book. I even prefaced to some, "I don't think you're going to care for it" since I know humorous sci-fi is simply not everyone's cup of tea. So I've been pleasantly surprised by some of their reactions.

But just think how varied the taste of movies and other media can be among your friends and family. It puts too much pressure on you AND them to think they're going to be on board with what you write, no matter how good it is.

Tell them about it, certainly. Even people who don't read the kind of material you write will appreciate seeing you have passion for your writing. Then just keep doing what you do-- writing new material. They'll either pick it up or not. But you'll have spread the word AND saved yourself some emotional turmoil in the process.


message 47: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments Now Jon, you r disappointing me. I WANT A COOKIE :(


message 48: by Jon (new)

Jon Etheredge (jonetheredge) | 495 comments Suzan, in keeping with the theme of this thread, I'll have to disappoint you and recommend against acquiring any of my books prior to November. I have been cleaning up a new novel and hope to shop it around to a publisher or agent near the end of the year. During the final editing, my working group pointed out a couple of style shortcomings that plague everything I've published. I hope to have "Abigail Dare" rewritten by the end of next week (as suggested by a highly respected editor I was fortunate enough to trick into reading it - here's hoping I did it right 'cause there isn't likely to be a second free reading). Topping off my weekend, I just had "Fedoro's Jump" rejected with the notation "needs work" - and they are undoubtedly correct. All my short stories need to be rewritten.

Also, I've looked at your "to-read" shelf. I'm pretty certain my stories wouldn't be your cup of tea. I was raised by wolves.

Why does the week have to begin on a Monday?


message 49: by Dawn (new)

Dawn Whidden (dawn71753) | 22 comments The week doesn't begin on Monday.... that's just the work week. If you look at any calendar the week begins SUNDAY...just saying. I am going to kill you in my next book.HAAHAHAHAHA


message 50: by Richard (new)

Richard (amazoncomauthorricharddparker) | 6 comments Jon, I put "Abigail Dare" on my "want to read" list. Let me know when the rewrite is finished. No need to hurry on my account, I'm in the middle of "Storm of Swords" and I read slow when I'm writing, and these days I'm always writing.


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