Young People Writing discussion

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay..same thing this time the word is WATER...


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

As I watched England slowly coming back into view, it still looked just as cold, wet and miserable as it did five years ago. Dirty grey ships, sparsely decorated with peeling drab paint, were crammed carelessly at the docks, floating in the drab, cinereal water. Black clouds stormed menacingly across the thunderous sky and drops of admissible rain began to fall from an oppressive sky. I had stayed with Auntie Hannah and Uncle Brian since I was eleven and now I viewed Connecticut as more of a home than England ever was to me. I had a family there a real family who really loved me, and Cody. If I thought about them all now I would cry again I knew it but how God how I missed them, an empty space in my heart wasn’t right to describe what I was feeling because I knew they were still there thinking of me but they couldn’t be there with me.
When the ship finally docked I was washed down to land again by the crowd of passengers anxious to feel their feet at home on solid ground again. The crossing from France had been pretty bad on many levels, when we boarded the ferry at Calais we were told to be aware that the crossing we not going to be exactly comfortable and indeed it was true, comfortable? Far from it!


message 3: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) I sit at the edge of the sand where the beach meets the chrystal sea, hugging my knees to my chest.
I hear a seagull shreak overhead, his sharp voice ringing. His wings spread wide.
The light sand is growing hot. I inch slowly towards the sparkling water, the rippling, deep ocean that stretches for miles and miles, covering much of the maps.
The water tickles my toes as I edge further in. My entire left foot is immmersed in water when I feel a smooth, tickling senseation on my ankle. I look and spot a miniature school of fish gliding across my ankle, a group of colorful fish each the size of a centimeter, their multiple colored skin glinting in the sun's warm light.


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

That is amazing :) I love it!!!


message 5: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Thanks! Yours was creative and cool. =)


message 6: by Adrienne (last edited Oct 10, 2012 05:20AM) (new)

Adrienne Bross (adriennebross) Drip... drip... drip.

The sound of leaking water was beginning to drive me insane. It was the only sound that permeated the damp darkness of the dirty bathroom I found myself in. It smelled of must and stale fluids and held an aftertaste that clung like rotting metal to the back of my mouth. For what felt like the millionth time, I checked the faucets, tightening and re-tightening the metal water release valves until my hands ached. It didn't work. Dirty, brownish water still dripped from the bathroom spout, following the stain that countless water droplets before it had made until it found its way to the drain.

Drip... drip... drip.

And still that incessant dripping!

With an angry groan I pushed myself off of my seat on the closed toilet, tossing the hand towel into the stained tub with a bit more anger than I had meant to. Didn't matter. I was tired of being in the room. I had cleaned myself of my deeds and wanted nothing more to do with the moldy lavatory. On the way out, I stepped over the body that lay in the hallway, careful to avoid any of the blood, a swiftly spreading halo around the head of the dead man. I looked at him with disdain as I pulled on my coat. "Fix the damn faucets," I said, as if he could do anything about it before I left, slamming the door behind me and finally closing the door on the horrid sound of constant, dripping water.


Afterword: Just had this little scene in my head when thinking about water. Don't mind me too much LOL I was a child of horror and murder-mystery, so it's usually where my mind goes.


message 7: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments I really liked that Adrienne! I wasn't expecting the body on the floor thing and was like "wait...what?" haha :)
Although I was a bit confused at the beginning when you started in third person for the first sentence and then switched to first person...


message 8: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) You guys told awesome stories and I just wrote random crap.


message 9: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments hmm hmm this is my writing:

I turned on the faucet, water came out, and I took a drink.

The End! :P hahahha :)


message 10: by Adrienne (new)

Adrienne Bross (adriennebross) Allison wrote: "Although I was a bit confused at the beginning when you started in third person for ..."

Yeeeeah... that'll happen when I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing LOL I fixed it :D


message 11: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments Adrienne wrote: "Allison wrote: "Although I was a bit confused at the beginning when you started in third person for ..."

Yeeeeah... that'll happen when I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing LOL I fixed it :D"


Haha okay, that's better :)


message 12: by Shelley (new)

Shelley I waited for him. For so long I had waited.
The crashing waves seemed to reflect my irritation, and the crying wind seemed to reflect my sorrow. The clouds were dark, and heavy rain pelted my face. Even the jagged rocks seemed to know that he wouldn't come. Their shapes indicating that our relationship was doomed from the beginning.
Yet, despite the pending storm and the crashing waves, far out into the sea, the water seemed to be calm – a small glimmer of hope.
He is coming for me... I told myself.
But I knew I was lying to myself, deep in my heart. Why would he make me wait so long, on such a stormy, sad day? Why would he lie to me? I let myself shed a tear as salt-water droplets sprayed on to my face. I blinked rapidly. Between those blinks, his ship could have possibly manifested herself on the horizon. Please, let that be.
Time waits for no one. It dragged on and on until the reality that sank in. The sand on my feet froze, and the colour of the beautiful landscape deemed to drain away into a cold, unfriendly grey.
He isn't coming...
The hills that once seemed beautiful to my eyes seemed dull. The once-pink flowers seemed grey. The water that was so clear – even on that stormy day – seemed murky and dirty to my eyes. The sand that was now black seemed to suck me in as each wave rolled and came to my feet, creating a soft splash and wetting the hem of my white night-gown.
For a moment, I didn’t mind if my body was sucked in by the sand and water. I crouched onto the water and sand, eager to help. The water pushed against my bare legs and my teeth started to chatter. From what, I don’t know.
The wind wailed with me in my ears as I let out a single sob, as if it knew my pain. I clung to my body that was shivering from sadness, coldness or both and let out another sob. The tide rose to my knees within seconds, or minutes. I had lost track of time. The grey sun was coming up and there was no sign of him. I couldn’t feel my finger, legs or toes, but I felt the water pulse with the life I no longer had.
He didn’t come...


message 13: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments that's so..... sad. Beautiful! But sad....


message 14: by Adrienne (new)

Adrienne Bross (adriennebross) Allison wrote: "hmm hmm this is my writing:

I turned on the faucet, water came out, and I took a drink.

The End! :P hahahha :)"


Amusing story? You've inspired me to start another writing project just by writing that one sentence! lol


message 15: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments Adrienne wrote: "Allison wrote: "hmm hmm this is my writing:

I turned on the faucet, water came out, and I took a drink.

The End! :P hahahha :)"

Amusing story? You've inspired me to start another writing projec..."


Hahaha! Yay! Feel free to use that very sentence in your writing ;)


message 16: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) The water was freezing cold. Tiny shards of ice drifted in the waves.
"No!" I whisper. "No!"
My former friend lowers me deeper into the icy ocean. Slowly I am lowered to my death. Already my toes grow numb.
"Please!" I plead. "We grew together. We shared so much!"
"No!" she says fiercely. She drops me another two feet. "No!!!"
I think of the arguments, the dirty rumors she spread. The nasty looks I received. The pain I felt. The anguish. The loss.
She lowers me another foot as the tears well in my eyes and finally fall, an endless waterfall.
I like every good victim, know that I am defeated.
"Goodbye. Thank you for the memories we once shared." I whisper these words to her. They would be my last.
And the last thing I saw though, through the bubbling cold waves was the satisfied smirk on her flawless face as I succumbed to numbness and cold and suddenly was no more....


message 17: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments .....what's with all these sad stories! Gabrielle, that made me want to cry.... Yu guys are such good writers!


message 18: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Hey idk, my first on here was happy. ;)
Most pf the time I guess water makes is sad


message 19: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments Haha, why does water make you sad? It's the life of all living things! :)


message 20: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Yeah I don't know I'm not the only one who wrote sad!! And my first was really happy.


message 21: by Allison (new)

Allison (zomltrow) | 63 comments I know! I'm just saying, the last two have been really sad!


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