Young People Writing discussion

122 views

Comments Showing 1-7 of 7 (7 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay In this topic you can post the beginning of a story/middle of a story or a piece or creative writing or whatever you like actually, but you have to somehow link it in with conflict.....
If I may...I'll start...


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

I wish someone would tell me the truth. The truth rather than the lies I have been fed for fourteen years. Why does everyone believe them, why can’t they see that what they are being told is lies? Why won’t anyone listen?
Water from a cracked pipe above my head drips steadily onto me, slowly soaking my already damp, dirty clothes. The cell is so small if I move my elbows they scrape the rough walls and my head almost touches the ceiling even though I am curled up as small as is physically possible. There is no space to move and if I was any bigger I wouldn’t be able to breathe. It’s always cold in here, ribbons of wind slip through the gaps in the uneven stone walls, snaking delicately around me, penetrating easily through my thin, worn clothing. I hug my knees tight to my chest, trying to conserve some of the little warmth I have left.
Rats scrabble about me, searching desperately for scraps. I can remember the first time I spent the night in here, seeing the rats and screaming desperately, hammering on the door for someone to let me out. But no one came. I was young and innocent then and now I understand why, no one can hear us down here in the punishment block. It’s meant to be like that, so no one from outside hears us screaming when they punish us.
There are five cells down here each as cold, damp and dark as the other, I am in the cell closest to the door and there is no one else down here, except the rats of course. They don’t have guards here; they don’t need them when you are trapped underground. I pity the small children from the X block who are scared of the dark and don’t like being in small spaces. When there are more of us down here, you can hear them crying, alone in the dark. But no one helps them. They have to learn, just as we had to learn.
My eyes flicker open from a fickle repose as I hear the sound of heavy footfalls on the jagged stone steps. The door to my cell is unlocked and flung open and a rough male voice commands, ‘Out’.
My legs are stiff from being stuck in the same position for so long and can’t carry my weight at first so I shuffle carefully out of the small opening. The guard obviously decides I am taking too long as he grabs my bare ankles and pulls hard. I hit my head on the low stone opening as I slide untidily out and I can already feel warm sticky red liquid already starting to trickle down my forehead.
‘Careful,’ I retort as I stand unsteadily, trying not to show the pain it is causing me whilst glaring defiantly at the guard. I am rewarded with a slap across my cheek, the sudden crack penetrating the eerie silence, echoing suddenly around the black walls.
Blinking stars from my eyes I am dragged savagely up the long stone steps. Still holding my wrist so tightly I know I can’t escape, the guard produces a key card, slides it over a red light and the door to the lift slides smoothly open. He shoves me in and I stumble, rubbing my eyes painfully, trying to adjust them to the bright lights. Keeping a firm hold on my wrist, the guard presses a button and the lift starts to move upwards with a nauseating jolt.
The lift stops after a few minute and the door slides smoothly sideways. The guard marches out of the building, dragging me carelessly with him. We head out of the plain grey doors and across the courtyard. Needles of rain sting my eyes, lacerating my clothes and soaking my hair. The wind whips wildly, forcing the raindrops in torrents against my body, numbing my face and soaking my already damp attire. I want to run but the guard seems to walk as slowly as is physically possible across the uneven black tarmac.
The guard takes his time fishing his key card from around his neck cleaning it against his coat and finally placing it next to the red beam of light protruding from a small box to the left of the door, obviously enjoying the fact that he can leave me out in the rain for as long as he likes and that there really is nothing I can do about it. I wait though, my eyes expressionless, my face unreadable. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my anger and frustration. Not today.
Finally the door is open and I dash, as fast as the guard lets me, into the hallway of the ‘Y’ block. I am greeted by a blast of warm air which caresses my numb arms proving how cold I really am, as normally I would jog along these same corridors trying to keep warm. To my right are the girls sleeping quarters and to the left, the boys.
Everyone is still asleep, as the clock on the wall politely informs me; it is only half past five. The bell will ring at six. The guard turns and walks out of the door and I turn and walk slowly down the corridor, my footsteps echoing softly on the rough grey carpet.
‘Maia’
I almost don’t recognise my name; I can’t remember when I last heard it formed on another’s lips. We are forbidden to use each other’s names here. Most of us don’t know them anyway. No names just letters and numbers. There is only one person here who knows my name. I turn but even before I do I know who’s standing in the doorway of the boy’s quarters.


★ Mist ☆ Cassidy ★ (rockclimbingirl) | 116 comments Mod
Woahhh! Both of those were really good! I'm totally hungry (is that the right word? :p) for more after I read those two snippets!


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

LOL Thank you :)btw Ciel...Nice :)


message 5: by Blujeanbooks96 (new)

Blujeanbooks96 (wwwgoodreadscomblujean_books96) | 11 comments ★ Mist ☆ Cassidy ★ wrote: "Woahhh! Both of those were really good! I'm totally hungry (is that the right word? :p) for more after I read those two snippets!"

YES!! @Louise I LOVE it! It left me wanting more. I actually went 'that's it! that can't be it!' haha

And @Ciel that was awesome! Honestly! not as bad as you think it is haha


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Thank you very much...let me see...if you want more i can try to write more...??


message 7: by Jessica (new)

Jessica (inori) | 1 comments Abel shuddered as he recalled the screams and pleas of his friends as they were murdered in front of him. He sobbed, “Why, why didn’t I help my friends, I should have done something.” He puts his head into his hands and recalled back to how this sad day came to be. A loud commotion that disrupted the wind’s quiet breeze and singing birds, brought Abel’s attention from his friends to over the hills. Abel thought, mischievously, “I must find out what that noise was.” As you can see Abel was a boy who grew up to be quite curious and not afraid of adventure. He told his friends, “I’m going over the hills to see what has happened!” Fina timidly said “Think of the dangers that could lie over that hill, I think it’s safer to stay here.” Querr bravely said “Oh, Fina if anything happens I’ll protect you!” Reluctantly, Fina agreed and they began to walk over to the hills to the loud commotion. Before reaching the hills, there was gunshots and Querr got shot. He fell to the ground soundlessly and Fina screamed. She cried “Is he alright?” Abel gasped “He won’t be if we don’t help him.” Suddenly Fina, turned very quiet and still, her eyes widened with fear. As he turned around to see what she was so frightened about, he felt the cool steel of a shotgun pointed right on his forehead.


back to top