Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

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Weekly Short Story Contests > Week 137 (September 9-16) Stories Topic: London fog

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message 1: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Yippee!


message 2: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments My story shall be about a coat.

... Probably not.


message 3: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments Oh, good, then I won't feel so bad about abandoning the idea. I'm thinking something a bit more film noir ... set in prehistoric times.

No, wait, that won't work. Maybe.


message 4: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments I hope it turns out well. I don't think I've read any of your work in a long while.


message 5: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Good luck Al :D Working on mine now!


message 6: by Saira (new)

Saira (herumouni) | 667 comments Mine's probably going to be about Jack the Ripper. XD


message 7: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments I did some research on Jack the Ripper a few years ago. Patricia Cornwell wrote a book in which she declared that the ripper had been a Walter Sickert, a painter; but apparently there’s some evidence that the ripper was an American, a quack named Francis Tumblety, who, suspiciously, had a large collection of women’s uteruses.


message 8: by Saira (new)

Saira (herumouni) | 667 comments Deniol and Ludivine meet him.


message 9: by Taliah (new)

Taliah Lagons | 77 comments Lol, these topics seem to be getting weirder and weirder.


message 10: by Saira (new)

Saira (herumouni) | 667 comments No, poor Jack the Ripper. Deniol and Ludivine are much, much worse.


message 11: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments Next week we'll have something reasonable - like toothpick.


message 12: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments I'm not.


message 13: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments XD


message 14: by Taliah (new)

Taliah Lagons | 77 comments No, no! I love the topic, the topic is great. I just wonder where they come from :)


message 15: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Haha!


message 16: by Jason (last edited Sep 11, 2012 12:40PM) (new)

Jason Title: An Early Morning in Abilene
Length: 486 words

It's 4:30am in the small Kansas town of Abilene. Small might be an understatement as the population is around 8000 folks. It's known as the hometown of Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States. When Eisenhower took office in Washington, D.C., the Kansas town seemed much bigger from there on out. They'll always remind you of that fact when you come through Abilene.

Early on this morning a fog lifts, not just outdoors, but the haze that's lifting from the early risers. Many people who work early opt for breakfast at the Easy-Mart, which is located in the heart of town. Mr. Lee is the owner of the Easy-Mart, the town's most popular convenience store. He's run the store for years, which have now turned decades. Although he could sell the Easy-Mart for a tidy sum, he chooses to keep running it. As a widower and father of grown children, he feels purpose tending to the flock of workers that migrate through each morning.

While other stores and coffee shops have just donuts, burnt coffee, and the like, Mr. Lee takes pride in serving more. That's how he figures he has such loyal customers. Years ago he built a small kitchen to prepare eggs, bacon, sausage, bagels, and, once in a while, some pancakes. Leonard has been the cook since the Easy-Mart kitchen opened. Mr. Lee hired him when Leonard's mother (Mr. Lee's then next door neighbor) passed away. As a child, Leonard was always teased by the other kids for being "slow". Leonard takes pride in cooking breakfast for people, they repay him in kind words and tips.

Sam Metzger works days as an air traffic controller at the nearby municipal airport. He's done so for nearly 18 years, since he graduated college. For the entire time he's stopped by the Easy-Mart each morning on the way to work. Typically Sam runs late to work, but there's a system in place - Leonard has Sam's sausage, egg and cheese sandwich wrapped to go and Sam pays Mr. Lee what he owes at the end of the month. As Sam dropped by this morning he noticed something different. Mr. Lee had gotten a Muzak system installed in the store. As he walked in, Sam heard an instrumental rendition of the song "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon. He thought it funny how things come in bunches. Just last night Sam watched "The Color of Money", the same song played in a scene where Tom Cruise's character mimicked a Samurai warrior as he hustled around the pool table.

A few hours later, the flock has made their way to work. Mr. Lee and Leonard chat for a few minutes, then take inventory, tally up the register, and clean up the Easy-Mart. All in preparation for another morning that will come all too soon. A morning that they will welcome along with the people it brings.


message 17: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments I liked the feel and detail you give everything, Jason, but it doesn't seem like a story. It's a description of setting and characters - really, the beginning of a story.


message 18: by Jason (new)

Jason Thanks for the feedback, Edward. Looking at it again, I think I tend to agree with you. I felt the inspiration to try the contest subject out and took a short break during the workday to do it. I think the next time I'll do so in the evening when I don't feel as rushed and can flesh things out more.

Edward wrote: "I liked the feel and detail you give everything, Jason, but it doesn't seem like a story. It's a description of setting and characters - really, the beginning of a story."


message 19: by Jason (new)

Jason Thank you very much, Alex. I'm flattered. Your and Edward's feedback inspires me to be a bit more patient and let the story further develop. A couple of quick questions: 1) did it capture the idea of "London Fog", and 2) Do you like to go by Alex or Al? Thanks!

Alex (Al) wrote: "Yes, I agree, but the writing and description is well done. I enjoyed it even though I wanted more of it."


message 20: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments Pizza. You were talking about pizza. Or perhaps I'm just hungry.


message 21: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments I ate pizza for dinner :D


message 22: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Well, I just ate in less than 10 mins before I posted. And, that's probably not very good.

I can't write my story right now. My dad is sitting right next to me XP


message 23: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Alex (Al) wrote: "Oh you cant write it because it,'s steamy. Gotcha."

Yeah XD


message 24: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments I’d classify Jason’s “An Early Morning in Abilene” as a descriptive essay--a nicely written one--rather than a story, but there are people who would say it’s slice-of-life story. I tend to think of a story as having a plot that involves a conflict and a resolution of it, but not all stories do.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading “An Early Morning in Abilene.” I get a sense of the place and the characters, and I find the writing very easy to be around. I’d like to see more of this kind of thing.


message 25: by Jason (new)

Jason Thanks a lot, M! :) I'll plan to put more out there in the future.


message 26: by C. J., Cool yet firm like ice (new)

C. J. Scurria (goodreadscomcj_scurria) | 4263 comments I wish I knew more about English culture (meaning England of course!) so I could put a believable story on here. It was why I didn't post one on the old topic "London Kiss."


message 27: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Write a story about a raincoat, CJ! London Fog makes all kinds of coats.


message 28: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments I had forgotten about Harris.


message 29: by Saira (new)

Saira (herumouni) | 667 comments I'm having problems this week. I've no idea where it's going! XP All I know is that they're walking through the fog...


message 30: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments XD All I know is that I have to write something steamy, for M's sake XD


message 31: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Yay!


message 32: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments XD


message 33: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments ROTFL


message 34: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments I don’t see any steam.


message 35: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments I'm still trying to make it steamy! Sheesh.


message 36: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments You’re ahead of me. I haven’t gotten the first word down.


message 37: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments I have 55 words XD


message 38: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments I can already feel the steam! Keep going.


message 39: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Me, too! How can I write a short story when I’m laughing?


message 40: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Why does everything have to be so complicated? Now we have to dial the area code as well as the phone number.


message 41: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments It used to be that you picked up the receiver and an operator said, “Number, please.”


message 42: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Black Forest or Italian cream?


message 43: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Me, too! Is today your birthday? I thought it was a few days ago.


message 44: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Oh, that’s right. I’m not good at remembering birthdays.


message 45: by Edward (new)

Edward (edwardtheresejr) | 2434 comments *Coming into the conversation late.*

*Moment of silence.*

What?


message 46: by Taliah (new)

Taliah Lagons | 77 comments What's the difference between London fog and regular fog?


message 47: by Saira (new)

Saira (herumouni) | 667 comments It's extremely thick fog that occurs often naturally in London. XD


message 48: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments They have big fog machines, though, in case the weather tries to clear.


message 49: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments XD That sounds like something they would do XD


message 50: by M (new)

M | 11263 comments Taliah wrote: “What’s the difference between London fog and regular fog?”

You can experience regular fog anywhere, but London fog is in a class of its own. You can buy it in bottles at upscale stores.


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