Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Weekly Short Story Contests
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Week 137 (September 9-16) Stories Topic: London fog
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Caitlan
(new)
Sep 09, 2012 12:18PM
Yippee!
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My story shall be about a coat.... Probably not.
Oh, good, then I won't feel so bad about abandoning the idea. I'm thinking something a bit more film noir ... set in prehistoric times.No, wait, that won't work. Maybe.
I hope it turns out well. I don't think I've read any of your work in a long while.
Good luck Al :D Working on mine now!
Mine's probably going to be about Jack the Ripper. XD
I did some research on Jack the Ripper a few years ago. Patricia Cornwell wrote a book in which she declared that the ripper had been a Walter Sickert, a painter; but apparently there’s some evidence that the ripper was an American, a quack named Francis Tumblety, who, suspiciously, had a large collection of women’s uteruses.
Lol, these topics seem to be getting weirder and weirder.
No, poor Jack the Ripper. Deniol and Ludivine are much, much worse.
Next week we'll have something reasonable - like toothpick.
No, no! I love the topic, the topic is great. I just wonder where they come from :)
Title: An Early Morning in AbileneLength: 486 words
It's 4:30am in the small Kansas town of Abilene. Small might be an understatement as the population is around 8000 folks. It's known as the hometown of Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States. When Eisenhower took office in Washington, D.C., the Kansas town seemed much bigger from there on out. They'll always remind you of that fact when you come through Abilene.
Early on this morning a fog lifts, not just outdoors, but the haze that's lifting from the early risers. Many people who work early opt for breakfast at the Easy-Mart, which is located in the heart of town. Mr. Lee is the owner of the Easy-Mart, the town's most popular convenience store. He's run the store for years, which have now turned decades. Although he could sell the Easy-Mart for a tidy sum, he chooses to keep running it. As a widower and father of grown children, he feels purpose tending to the flock of workers that migrate through each morning.
While other stores and coffee shops have just donuts, burnt coffee, and the like, Mr. Lee takes pride in serving more. That's how he figures he has such loyal customers. Years ago he built a small kitchen to prepare eggs, bacon, sausage, bagels, and, once in a while, some pancakes. Leonard has been the cook since the Easy-Mart kitchen opened. Mr. Lee hired him when Leonard's mother (Mr. Lee's then next door neighbor) passed away. As a child, Leonard was always teased by the other kids for being "slow". Leonard takes pride in cooking breakfast for people, they repay him in kind words and tips.
Sam Metzger works days as an air traffic controller at the nearby municipal airport. He's done so for nearly 18 years, since he graduated college. For the entire time he's stopped by the Easy-Mart each morning on the way to work. Typically Sam runs late to work, but there's a system in place - Leonard has Sam's sausage, egg and cheese sandwich wrapped to go and Sam pays Mr. Lee what he owes at the end of the month. As Sam dropped by this morning he noticed something different. Mr. Lee had gotten a Muzak system installed in the store. As he walked in, Sam heard an instrumental rendition of the song "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon. He thought it funny how things come in bunches. Just last night Sam watched "The Color of Money", the same song played in a scene where Tom Cruise's character mimicked a Samurai warrior as he hustled around the pool table.
A few hours later, the flock has made their way to work. Mr. Lee and Leonard chat for a few minutes, then take inventory, tally up the register, and clean up the Easy-Mart. All in preparation for another morning that will come all too soon. A morning that they will welcome along with the people it brings.
I liked the feel and detail you give everything, Jason, but it doesn't seem like a story. It's a description of setting and characters - really, the beginning of a story.
Thanks for the feedback, Edward. Looking at it again, I think I tend to agree with you. I felt the inspiration to try the contest subject out and took a short break during the workday to do it. I think the next time I'll do so in the evening when I don't feel as rushed and can flesh things out more.Edward wrote: "I liked the feel and detail you give everything, Jason, but it doesn't seem like a story. It's a description of setting and characters - really, the beginning of a story."
Thank you very much, Alex. I'm flattered. Your and Edward's feedback inspires me to be a bit more patient and let the story further develop. A couple of quick questions: 1) did it capture the idea of "London Fog", and 2) Do you like to go by Alex or Al? Thanks! Alex (Al) wrote: "Yes, I agree, but the writing and description is well done. I enjoyed it even though I wanted more of it."
Pizza. You were talking about pizza. Or perhaps I'm just hungry.
Well, I just ate in less than 10 mins before I posted. And, that's probably not very good.I can't write my story right now. My dad is sitting right next to me XP
Alex (Al) wrote: "Oh you cant write it because it,'s steamy. Gotcha."Yeah XD
I’d classify Jason’s “An Early Morning in Abilene” as a descriptive essay--a nicely written one--rather than a story, but there are people who would say it’s slice-of-life story. I tend to think of a story as having a plot that involves a conflict and a resolution of it, but not all stories do.I thoroughly enjoyed reading “An Early Morning in Abilene.” I get a sense of the place and the characters, and I find the writing very easy to be around. I’d like to see more of this kind of thing.
Thanks a lot, M! :) I'll plan to put more out there in the future.
I wish I knew more about English culture (meaning England of course!) so I could put a believable story on here. It was why I didn't post one on the old topic "London Kiss."
Write a story about a raincoat, CJ! London Fog makes all kinds of coats.
I'm having problems this week. I've no idea where it's going! XP All I know is that they're walking through the fog...
XD All I know is that I have to write something steamy, for M's sake XD
I'm still trying to make it steamy! Sheesh.
You’re ahead of me. I haven’t gotten the first word down.
I can already feel the steam! Keep going.
Me, too! How can I write a short story when I’m laughing?
Why does everything have to be so complicated? Now we have to dial the area code as well as the phone number.
It used to be that you picked up the receiver and an operator said, “Number, please.”
Me, too! Is today your birthday? I thought it was a few days ago.
Oh, that’s right. I’m not good at remembering birthdays.
*Coming into the conversation late.**Moment of silence.*
What?
What's the difference between London fog and regular fog?
It's extremely thick fog that occurs often naturally in London. XD
They have big fog machines, though, in case the weather tries to clear.
XD That sounds like something they would do XD
Taliah wrote: “What’s the difference between London fog and regular fog?”You can experience regular fog anywhere, but London fog is in a class of its own. You can buy it in bottles at upscale stores.
