¡ POETRY ! discussion

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message 1: by Ajay (new)

Ajay (Ajay_N) | 225 comments I like this a lot, Jerry. Your poem brought back some fond memories.

I love the term 'mud-spittle'! I happen to know a thing or two about it, having been a goal keeper all through school and college.

I had a very demanding coach, he devised a plan for me to improve my speed and range of jump while going for a block. So he asked me to practice in those long jump pits. I've literally done a thousand dives on that pit. Mud was a familiar agent in my mouth and eyes!

And yes, it is the most beautiful game of all! Though I am sucker for tennis and cricket as well.


message 2: by Ajay (new)

Ajay (Ajay_N) | 225 comments Wow, that's nice to know. I've always had the greatest respect for referees. Infact, I owe all my success to a referee who appreciated me at the end of a season for fair conduct and a 'clean sheet' performance in the finals. Offered me great advice.

I did enjoy 'Game Ball', including the haiku! I am shifting across to the other thread to post my views.


message 3: by Robbi (new)

Robbi Nester (Rknester) | 59 comments Not being drawn toward the subject matter, I tend to look at the poem itself here. And I find that there are some unexplainable problems with grammar you might as well fix. Your syntax can sometimes seem a bit tortured and the exclamation point at the end a bit rah-rah for readers who don't share your enthusiasm for the game. For example, as far as syntax is concerned,why leave out the "it" (it can tend toward brutal) in the second line? And while the spelling "futbal" is cute, I don't know about that either.
I know you aren't talking about American football, but I think about James Wright's poem on that subject, and yours lacks the imagery and specificity that makes that interesting.


message 4: by Robbi (new)

Robbi Nester (Rknester) | 59 comments Well one can learn from accomplished poets Jerry, and though I hate football (American or otherwise) I still am drawn to that poem. You want a reader like me to feel similarly about yours.


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