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Agony Aunt > What to wear?!

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message 1: by Katy (last edited Sep 01, 2012 02:15PM) (new)

Katy | 3410 comments I wasn't sure whether to make a topic here, or post in the morning thread, so I chose here.

I'm going to a wedding on October 27th. I don't know much about it yet, except for my fiance is the best man, and I'll be sitting at the head table.

Naturally, I thought "Oh my god, what am I going to wear?!" having only been to two weddings in my life, and I was a bridesmaid for both. So I thought I'd ask you guys. Any ideas?

Also... I thought I'd ask you all before I ask the bride, but is it okay to wear black to a wedding? It' got floaty sleeves and a floaty skirt, with a belt just under the chest. I was going to dress it up with gold jewelery, maybe a gold shawl, and I have black and gold flower patterned dolly shoes.

not the best picture, but this is the dress (in a size 8, not 16):

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Dorothy-Per...

the sleeves dont wrap around the arm, they sort of hang, if that makes sense

Thanks (:


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

I wore black to a wedding once because I'd just bought a nice dress, which happened to be black. That was also floaty. I knew the bride quite well though so I checked first whether she or anyone in her family was likely to be offended. I'm not supersticious but I think that some people feel it's unlucky to wear black to a wedding.

:0)


message 3: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks Karen! (: I'm going to check with the bride, but I thought I'd check with you all first! I think that white is a taboo colour, but think black is okay if you dress it up. Will definitely check though as I don't want to offend anyone!

I've still got a good month to look for dresses, I only thought of the black dress as a last resort! (:


Jay-me (Janet)  | 4270 comments My friend got married in a black dress.


Simon (Highwayman) (highwayman) | 4697 comments Hi Katy,

I bet you didn't expect me on this thread:-)

One thing to consider, you will be on the top table. Although the bride and groom will be the centre of attention if you feel uncomfortable or conspicuous it will be a long day. You will enjoy everything more if you are at ease and not worrying about what people might think.

As for dress sense- I have never had any ;-)


message 6: by Katie (new)

Katie Stewart (Katiewstewart) | 853 comments I went to a wedding yesterday and there was lots of black. At least if you wear black, you know you're not clashing with the bridesmaids. Or, if you know what colour they are wearing, maybe you could match with a scarf or belt that colour?


message 7: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks everyone! (:

I'm going to keep my eye out for a dress, but it's good to know so many of you don't see a problem with it!

Simon, that was my problem - sitting at the head table! My fiancées parents split up when we was younger, and this wedding is on his dads side, who I've only met twice! I know I'm going to feel uncomfortable anyway, but I definitely didn't want to stand out!

I really like the scarf / belt idea though, thanks (: will definitely keep that in mind!


Victoria (daisyduck) (daisyduck1976) | 137 comments Black for wedding guests is totally acceptable these days. The only things not really acceptable are white or ivory dresses(!) or anything too short or revealing/show-stopping etc.

The dress you described sounds lovely :)


message 9: by Joo (new)

Joo (Jooo) | 1638 comments Victoria (daisyduck) wrote: "Black for wedding guests is totally acceptable these days. The only things not really acceptable are white or ivory dresses(!) or anything too short or revealing/show-stopping etc.
"


Unless you're the bride and rich :)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/...


Victoria (daisyduck) (daisyduck1976) | 137 comments Oh god- I saw that. Horrifying!


message 11: by Philip (sarah) (new)

Philip (sarah) Willis | 5175 comments Katy,I believe monochrome is going to be all the rage this autumn and winter so there will probably be lots of black and white outfits around.
I would suggest adding a large gold fabric flower to the dress or belt and also wearing flesh coloured tights.
Hope you both have a lovely day!


message 12: by Jim (new)

Jim | 18969 comments This is where being male wins out. One suit, two ties, black one for funerals, not-black one for weddings. Sorted


message 13: by Tim (new)

Tim | 9437 comments Jim wrote: "This is where being male wins out. One suit, two ties, black one for funerals, not-black one for weddings. Sorted"

Yup. Black tie cost me a quid in Oxfam. Worn it at two funerals and three stage productions. Bargain!

Suit also does for interviews (but weight reduction programme needed before the next one!)


message 14: by Jim (new)

Jim | 18969 comments Tim A wrote: "Jim wrote: "This is where being male wins out. One suit, two ties, black one for funerals, not-black one for weddings. Sorted"

Yup. Black tie cost me a quid in Oxfam. Worn it at two funerals and t..."


Yes, but a decent suit will probably allow you to gain or lose a stone or so without too much problem :-)


message 15: by Tim (new)

Tim | 9437 comments That's the problem... it already did :(


message 16: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks everyone! (:

Jim, you're right. Being a man would be so much easier!


message 17: by Jim (new)

Jim | 18969 comments Katy wrote: "Thanks everyone! (:

Jim, you're right. Being a man would be so much easier!"


Absolutely
I've never understood exactly why women go to such lengths to impress other women. It's nothing to do with men, ask them half an hour later what people were wearing and they'd hazard a guess that the bride was in white :-))


message 18: by Jim (new)

Jim | 18969 comments Tim A wrote: "That's the problem... it already did :("

They have been known to shrink in storage


message 19: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Jim wrote: "Katy wrote: "Thanks everyone! (:

Jim, you're right. Being a man would be so much easier!"

Absolutely
I've never understood exactly why women go to such lengths to impress other women. It's nothin..."


I don't usually care! haha. but this is my fiancee's fathers family, and he scares me!


message 20: by Tim (new)

Tim | 9437 comments Jim wrote: "Tim A wrote: "That's the problem... it already did :("

They have been known to shrink in storage"


Ah, that explains it!


message 21: by Jim (last edited Sep 02, 2012 10:21AM) (new)

Jim | 18969 comments Katy wrote: "I don't usually care! haha. but this is my fiancee's fathers family, and he scares me!


Then ask HIS opinion. Do it nicely and he'll be so flattered. Just explain that different families do things differently and you want to do right by his family


message 22: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Jim wrote: "Katy wrote: "I don't usually care! haha. but this is my fiancee's fathers family, and he scares me!


Then ask HIS opinion. Do it nicely and he'll be so flattered. Just explain that different fami..."


I did, but he just says "you'll be the prettiest girl there no matter what you wear, theyre going to love you"! Which is very sweet (: He's going to text the groom tomorrow


Rosemary (grooving with the Picts) (nosemanny) | 8480 comments And you're scared of this man? He sounds a sweetie!

Sounds like you're doing everything right, you'll be fine xx


message 24: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Rosemary wrote: "And you're scared of this man? He sounds a sweetie!

Sounds like you're doing everything right, you'll be fine xx"


Sorry, I got mixed up! That's what my fiancee said, not his father. His father scares me because he's really closed off (:


message 25: by Jud (last edited Sep 03, 2012 04:44AM) (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments I have 2 dresses that I have alternated between the 4 or 5 weddings I have been to. It's never been the same group of people so I have managed to get away with it so far adn reckon I could get another couple of weddings out of them still. One of them is a black dress with purple embroidery, I never knew that wearing black to a wedding could be a no, no.


message 26: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments neither did I, Jud! I was going through my wardrobe and thought 'oh, I could wear that. wait, is black a funeral colour?' so decided to google it and found it could be disrespectful!

am planning on wearing it if I can't find anything better though (:


Gingerlily - All kinds of everything! | 36402 comments I went to a wedding a few years ago where the dress code for everybody was black and white! For some reason I hadn't got the message so I turned up beautifullly co-ordinated in brown and teal! No-body minded though.


message 28: by Jud (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments I didn't even notice if anyone wore black to my wedding... I'll have to look through some photos and see, out of interest.

It's always nice to have an excuse to buy a new dress though.


message 29: by Jud (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments Turns out 3 of my best friends wore black dresses to my wedding!


message 30: by Philip (sarah) (new)

Philip (sarah) Willis | 5175 comments I had a friend who specifically asked that no one wear green to her wedding as she considered it unlucky.


message 31: by D.D. Chant (last edited Sep 03, 2012 09:32AM) (new)

D.D. Chant (DDChant) | 7680 comments I wore a black skirt suit to a wedding once with a poppy red top, accessories and lipstick. I never though to check with the bride about it... O.O!!!

The most uncomfortable I've ever felt at a wedding was when I arrived and found out that my burgundy crushed velvet dress was the same material as the bridesmaid dresses!!! My dress was floor length and fitted and the bridesmaid dresses were flared and ballerina length, I spent the whole day correcting people who thought I was part of the bridal party!!!!


message 32: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks guys, you've definitely made me feel a lot better! Think I'm just going to go ahead and wear the black dress! I'm going to dress it up with gold, so I don't see a problem with it!

Will keep my eyes out for a better dress, but at least I have a back up!

D.D, that sounds awful! At least you can look back and laugh though (: at my uncles wedding, when they were kneeling in the ceremony, my uncle stood on my auntys dress as he stood up, we were all holding our breath! The dress was fine luckily (:


message 33: by Jud (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments I tripped over my own dress (for the 2nd time) while leaving the church and my brother even managed to get a photo of me midtrip. It's one of my favourite photos


message 34: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Jud, that sound like something I would do! I think things always go much better if you can laugh them off (:


message 35: by Jud (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments If your wedding dress has netting under it, don't wear shoes that might catch on the net. That is my advice to you.


message 36: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks (: I haven't thought about my wedding yet! I know we're waiting until i've finished uni


message 37: by Jud (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments How long till you finish uni?


message 38: by Jud (new)

Jud (Judibud) | 17934 comments Oh wait... You haven't started yet have you?

I said I'd wait until I finished uni but I couldn't and got married between my 3rd and 4th year.


message 39: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments I've got 3 years, I start on the 23rd of this month (:


message 40: by Mo (new)

Mo (mobroon) | 797 comments Blacks great with colourful accessories to make it more happy.
I wish I could alternate between 2-3 dresses, like you Jud, but I have 26 nieces and nephews (23 on my side) and 4 got married or about to get married this year so I have to get different outfits for them. Two at least next year. I have 2 of my own on the verge of jumping the broom. I hate buying these sort of outfits. It got so bad this year that I actually bought and wore a dress for the first time in about 10 years.


message 41: by Elle (new)

Elle (Louiselesley) | 7914 comments If posh can do it to a royal wedding (well pretty much black) so can you!


message 42: by Nick (new)

Nick Wastnage (NickWastnage) | 230 comments Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "I went to a wedding a few years ago where the dress code for everybody was black and white! For some reason I hadn't got the message so I turned up beautifullly co-ordinated in brown and teal! No-..."

Bet you looked good in the B&W photos!


message 43: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Change of plan, wearing this - http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ws/eBayISAP...


message 44: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments That is gorgeous Katy x


message 45: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks (: just tried it on and it fits perfectly


Patti (baconater) (Goldengreene) | 61381 comments Purdy!


message 47: by Joo (last edited Sep 08, 2012 04:37AM) (new)

Joo (Jooo) | 1638 comments That's lush. And I don't normally like strapless dresses. Or green :)


message 48: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Joo The Grand Inquisitor wrote: "That's lush. And I don't normally like strapless dresses. Or green :)"

Neither do I, Joo! It' the first strapless dress i've ever worn!


message 49: by Philip (sarah) (new)

Philip (sarah) Willis | 5175 comments Loving it Katy!


message 50: by Katy (new)

Katy | 3410 comments Thanks Sarah!


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