Romance Readers Reading Challenges discussion

Archive (general & ongoing) > Fun: Why I would never be a Romance Novel Heroine...

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message 1: by Yz the Whyz, Moderator (new)

Yz the Whyz (whyz) | 9327 comments (All in the spirit of sarcastic fun about our favorite genre. Finished the beginning phrase and let's see what you can come up with)

- because I'm not brave enough to investigate somebody's murder.

= because I'm over 30 and the hero will be dating the young twenty something.

- because if I truly meet a vampire in real life I will be running in the opposite direction, scared to death.

- because I will not give up my career to take care of some distant sick relative.

-because I'm not an heiress or poor as a churchmouse.

-because I have no plans in pretending to be a boy.

-because if I can shapeshift it would be to a nice sexy size 6, instead into something that has fangs and fur.

message 2: by Cheryl (new)

Cheryl (cheryllaflammegmailcom) | 86 comments Yz

LOL!! You are so funny. i will think about this more. I agree with most of yours. I guess I never thought of it. Hmmmm!

message 3: by Cheryl (new)

Cheryl (cheryllaflammegmailcom) | 86 comments Hey you could almost make that a book challenge.
Example: find a book where the heroine does not solve a murder. find one where the heroine is over 30. Where the heroine is not an heiress or poor as a church mouse.

Oh it might involve too much research and maybe not as fun to read LOL!!

I saw how you have it outlined and thought book challenge!! LMAO!!

What can I say it is 1:00 AM LOL!

message 4: by Yz the Whyz, Moderator (new)

Yz the Whyz (whyz) | 9327 comments LOL....well, I like having anything that is not fun...hmm..LOL..

BTW, the idea is not originally mine...I remember seeing a similar thread in another Romance board, I can't remember where though...

Here are a few more I came up with...

-because my eyes don't change colors with my feelings.

-because if I love a guy, I'll probably tell me immediately..(book will be over in 10 pages..LOL)

message 5: by new_user (new)

new_user LOL, Yz! I love the shapeshifting one.

-because I wouldn't be caught dead with a drinking, gambling womanizer, LOL. Womanizer, womanizer...

message 6: by Yz the Whyz, Moderator (new)

Yz the Whyz (whyz) | 9327 comments -because children and animals don't automatically like me.

-because I don't have magical powers like raise the dead or read other people's minds.

Sarah ~Sehrenity~ | 367 comments -because if someone really tried to pull that Alpha male crap with me, I'd either smack him upside the head or laugh my butt off.

-because if anyone threw me over their shoulder to carry me anywhere I didn't want to go, I'd scream like a banshee and puke from a hanging-upside-down induced migraine.

-because I will never look good in leather. Really.

-because I might for, like, one second be impressed by the "she's mine" attitude, before looking around for the UPC barcode stamped on my person that gave him the impression I was up for grabs.

message 8: by Yz the Whyz, Moderator (last edited Jan 31, 2009 12:19PM) (new)

Yz the Whyz (whyz) | 9327 comments Great responses, the last one.

-because I never cry prettily.

-because if there is real danger, I'm not that proud not to hide behind a more capable man, instead of running towards it and expect to be save later.

Sarah ~Sehrenity~ | 367 comments -I'm not Gumby. I don't bend that way.

message 10: by Lori (last edited Feb 04, 2009 09:05AM) (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) It takes me longer then 10 seconds to have an orgasm

I won't stop while being pursued by flesh eating zombies to drop to my knees and service you

Anal sex without lube is just wrong...

message 11: by ♥Tricia♥ (last edited Jan 31, 2009 03:24PM) (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments - because no I dont want your penis to feel like its going to go right through me.

- because, no, just no I am not into bestiality..

message 12: by Yz the Whyz, Moderator (new)

Yz the Whyz (whyz) | 9327 comments Just for you, Tricia...LOL..i remember you saying this in a discussion.

-because I do not hiss.

message 13: by Wendy (new)

Wendy  (wendyhill) IF I were able to have countless orgasms in one round of sex I would more than likely die.

message 14: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments LOL!! I AM NOT A SNAKE!!! NO HISSING! :)

Jael ~ *~ Syhren ~* ~ (wwwgoodreadscomprofilejael) b/c I'm not an orphan or someone who can just walk away from my family

message 16: by Laura (new)

Laura (laurapo) | 8 comments because I'm not a virgin
because I don't stutter when I speak to a handsome man

message 17: by new_user (new)

new_user Laura wrote: "because I don't stutter when I speak to a handsome man"

Never, ever? LOL.

message 18: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie new_user wrote: "LOL, Yz! I love the shapeshifting one.

-because I wouldn't be caught dead with a drinking, gambling womanizer, LOL. Womanizer, womanizer..."

Nice Britney Spears reference...classic!

message 19: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie OMG...these are all so funny!

message 20: by tosca (new)

tosca (catatonichataholic) | 742 comments - because I do stutter when I speak to a handsome man LOL
- because I cannot figure out where all the body parts in go in polyamorous sex (even though it makes for most fascinating reading/envisioning)
- because I will not give up my career. Ever.
- because I do not have beautifully expressive violet eyes
- because I have not, nor have I ever been since I was six yrs old, a size six dress size
- because when I get upset I break out in a rash
- because when I sneeze sometimes my nose runs LOL
- because I'm not sure I want to have a mouth that looks like it can suck a golfball through a hose LOL

message 21: by Stephanie (last edited Feb 05, 2009 06:32AM) (new)

Stephanie because I would never stay with a man who treated me badly, but secretly carry a torch for another man.
…because like most people, my eyes don't change colors right before I have sex.
…because I don’t like to walk around without my clothes on.

Sarah ~Sehrenity~ | 367 comments -because I won't stop in the middle of a dangerous situation to note how "hot" everyone is.

message 23: by tosca (new)

tosca (catatonichataholic) | 742 comments - because I won't tell him I'll ' anything you want once we're naked..' because HELLO I'm naked. If that isn't a prompt he doesn't deserve the 'anything' referred to! (You, and No Other by Lynda Sandoval).

Sarah ~Sehrenity~ | 367 comments -because if someone asked me to be bait, I'd run for my life.

message 25: by Jess (last edited Feb 12, 2009 04:54PM) (new)

Jess LOL too funny... I also agree with:

Because I don't orgasm in 10 seconds!!
because I don't hiss, or growl.. I bite, but not growl lol :)

and add:

Because I won't stop in the middle of fleeing from the enemy to have sex
Because I don't like hulking he men telling me that I am destined to be with him and only him
Because if some guy cornered me in an alley and wanted to drink from my neck I'd run screaming the other way
because if I found out that vamps, weres and all that existed I'd pass out

message 26: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments - Because once we are done with our love making.. no I wont dance around the room erotically so I can get my carpet all juicy O_o

message 27: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Tricia what book did you read that in??? I am LMAO!

message 28: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Because I don't think I could walk through the jungles of Indonesia with only a t-shirt tied around my feet and not be bitchin and moanin the whole time.

message 29: by ♥Tricia♥ (last edited Feb 13, 2009 10:11AM) (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments It was a Dark-Hunter book. Valerius's book.

VERY good too, one of the best I have read so far.. they just seem to be getting better and better though, at least for me because you learn more and more background story of the Dark-Hunters as you get farther in. And alot of them have repeat appearances throughout the books so that in itself makes the series good to me.

But ya one of the scenes after they had sex she got up and was dancing around and the FIRST thing I thought was, um messy? ROFL

message 30: by Jess (new)

Jess Tricia - I remember thinking the same thing!!!!

message 31: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments Hehe ya that threw me off a bit there but I am used to reading things like that in which we would NEVER do irl.

Though.. actually if I had someone as hot as any of these Dark-Hunters I just might not care! /giggles

message 32: by Wendy (new)

Wendy  (wendyhill) Tricia, If I had a Dark-Hunter I know I wouldn't care at all. LOL

message 33: by tosca (new)

tosca (catatonichataholic) | 742 comments A Dark-Hunter or a BDB - I wouldn't be fussy :-) Although as far as Dark-Hunter's go Acheron is the penultimate *sigh* This time next week I'll be in New Orleans and I want to get a tattoo done while there of the image on the Acheron cover. Call me dorky - I don't care LOL

message 34: by Wendy (new)

Wendy  (wendyhill) Tosca, Any BDB goes without saying. As for Acheron I totally agree *sigh* that is 6 feet 8 inches of yummy goodness. When you get the tatoo are you going to take a picture of it and send it to S. Kenyon's website? I know she posts them on her Myspace page, and I for one don't think you're a dork.

message 35: by ♥Tricia♥ (last edited Feb 13, 2009 06:15PM) (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments If I got another Tattoo it would be of the bow and arrow that the Dark-Hunters have :D

Though I dont know what the cover of Ash's book looks like I am not that far yet :)

message 36: by Wendy (new)

Wendy  (wendyhill) Ash's emblem is pretty cool. It looks pretty intricate therefore more pain.

message 37: by tosca (new)

tosca (catatonichataholic) | 742 comments No! Pain bad - chocolate good is my lifelong philosophy. I didn't know Kenyon put up the pics of her fan's tattoos. Is certainly something to consider =) Will stick with keeping it to myself, I think LOL And for sure the DH bow and arrow would be wicked to get. Here's a link to an image of the cover art, Tricia :-)

message 38: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments Oh thanks, that really does look cool.

Nichole (DirrtyH) (dirtyh) That is really cool, but I don't know if I'd want to have to explain to everyone what it was when they asked...

message 40: by tosca (new)

tosca (catatonichataholic) | 742 comments LOL I know - and I don't have it in me to pull off the cool and mysterious 'You don't KNOW?' response. Will have to put it where it's ordinarily covered - in which case there's no way in heck it's going on Kenyon's site hah

message 41: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments I think I am going to get the Dark-Hunters bow and arrow somewhere on me.

I am THAT big of a fan of them :)

Good thing I have a good friend who does Tats :P

message 42: by Jess (new)

Jess That's cool. I always wanted a tattoo but I never know what to get. I went as far as being in the tattoo parlor and flipping through the different designs and nothing really appealed to me. I didn't want to have something on me forever when I wasn't really sure. lol, that was like 3 years ago and I still don't have anything. I'm rather indecisive :)

Nichole (DirrtyH) (dirtyh) My advice is to pick something and then post a picture of it somewhere you're going to see it every day. That way if you don't hate it after six months or so, then it may be something you'd be okay with having on your body forever.
I have a pic of the tattoo I'm currently considering posted at my desk at work. It's a sort-of-abstract phoenix.

message 44: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments Thats a good suggestion :)

Though I have many tattoos already hehe. And I wish I had done what you suggest with a couple ROFL.

message 45: by Jess (new)

Jess That's a really good idea Nichole. Now I have to figure out what I might want.. lol. Then I can hang it up.

haha Tricia - you can always get them removed right? Although isn't it more painful to take them off then to get them put on lol. Not sure if it's worth it.

message 46: by ♥Tricia♥ (new)

♥Tricia♥ (siddie) | 407 comments Yes it is and way more expensive.. So I live with my youthful decisions! lol

message 47: by Jess (new)

Jess lol. Maybe in 20 years they'll have a new technique. That's what I always say to myself when I think about getting a tattoo. If I don't like it, by the time I want to remove it, it will be easier lol. :)

Sarah ~Sehrenity~ | 367 comments -because I would look ridiculously toy-like standing next to someone 6'5"+.

ஐ Briansgirl (Book Queen)ஐ (briansgirlkate) Sarah wrote: "-because I would look ridiculously toy-like standing next to someone 6'5"+."

My fiance's 6'4". lol (And I'm only 5'6")

Sarah ~Sehrenity~ | 367 comments It's quite difficult when you're 5' to look someone closer to 6' or 7' in the eye. I just look silly. :)

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