This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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You had to make it personal… you dumb bitch!

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The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Did you know I was leaving??? Seriously Paradise Lost was going to be my last book on your floor… but noooo you had to make that wrong decision of giving me attitude... you think you crazier than me? Hahah GUAHAHHA bitch I will make a hobby of going there, sitting my flat Dominican ass on your floor and wait for you to come and tell me that y’all have chairs… I will smile and offer you a 1000 apologies (not mine of course) and then I’ll stand there till I finish my 100 pages… I may also spent a few minutes wishing that all the bad things of this world happen to you and only you =) you dumb bitch..

message 2: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Why do I feel like I'm intruding on something here?

message 3: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Alfonso, out of curiosity, on the average, how many times per day would you say someone bitch-slaps you?

I just feel no sympathy whatsoever for your plight. From what I gather, you're upset that some B&N worker wouldn't let you just sit your ass down in the middle of the floor and read a book. They're letting you read their books, probably with a cookie in one hand, getting crumbs all over it, and you can't even be troubled to find some place that's out of the way, to read? Yeah, still can't find any sympathy.

message 4: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen no one said he was siting in the "middle of the floor" and no one said anything about a cookie.

your assumptions about where Alfonso is putting his ass might be a slightly exaggerated.

I have a feeling B&N is doing juuuuust fine financially despite Alfonso's reading of a book - in fact, "THEY HAVE CHAIRS" would indicate that they WANT people to SIT AND READ what they don't want is to be inconvenienced by seeing someone in a posture that is not of their choosing, of which might disrupt the delicate balance of what is considered aesthetically pleasing to their fluorescent light, mass produced, homogeneously designed, setting.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Marie I used to like you but now I love you!!! Yes that exactly my point… please explain to me what is the difference of me sitting in a corner where I’m pretty damn sure that I’m in nobody’s way… from me standing in that same corner reading the same damn book!

message 6: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments re: #5

So, you see Alfonso's gesture as a symbolic statement against evil big business? That's fascinating.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments I’m making a stand against that’s stupid policy what’s next she is going to tell me that they have a no standing up away from everybody’s way policy… ? cuz that I believe is harassment….

message 8: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) sitting on floors is extremely zen. I approve. B&N can go spork itself.

message 9: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments hippies.

message 10: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments hippie.

message 11: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments It's like you're inside my head.

You probably shouldn't stay too long.

message 12: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) ::::::::::hands Rusty a daisy and sits crosslegged on the floor::::::::::

message 13: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) thats great, but you dont know what its like, clearly. its a huge fucking store in the middle of touristland. i would never move alfonso from where he was sitting, because he wasnt in front of the books. i dont care if you motherfuckers (said with love) want to sit at the sides of aisles, but when the store becomes a place where groups of ten and twelve teenagers all lie down in the middle of the mystery aisle, thats a problem. and im sure the authors of the books those children are blocking would agree with me. the store has been too permissive. its not your fucking house - dont come in and break the spines on the books because you feel like because we let you read all day, they are your books. when people bitch about not being able to sit in front of the books, like theyve rented the store for the day and im ruining their lives, its like they dont understand that if they are allowed to sit there then im going to have to listen to all the complaints from the people that cant browse or get to the books they want. you know what - their complaints are more valid. its a fucking store - we sell shit. go loll around the floor at the gap and see where that gets you. and yes i have a proprietary interest because i spend more time there than at my own house and i love the books and i run a kickass department - i have more and better books than any other bn and im fucking proud of it. its a huge corporation, sure, but if someone with half a brain is ordering the books, those resources are a boon and not sometihng to be sneered at. and btw, we are still struggling, financially. and the lady that moved you is unpleasant and i agree with you that she should not have, but i gave leroy the heads up that you are not to be moved, so you dont have to worry about him at least. she canot be spoken to - she has no people skills. done.

message 14: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Do you guy's have a training manual? If so, I imagine there's a chapter titled "Alfonso."

message 15: by Greg (new)

Greg As soon as Karen told me who you were moved by I knew that this posting would be here. In Alfonso's defense he's a dream sitting and reading customer. He doesn't fuck up the books, he sits in a corner out of the way, he doesn't leave a mess behind him, or break the books. He also stays conscious, which you think would be easy enough to do but it apparently it's not. Also in his defense he's never shit on the floor, jerked off on a pole, put a dead mouse in a book, rubbed shit all over a the Philip Roth books, stuck chicken bones behind books, took a swing at an employee, called a black customer a dumb monkey, exposed himself, given or gotten a blow job in the romance aisle, spat at anyone on the floor, smells like he has just urinated himself, urinated on the floor or called me a neurotic jew. I'm sure I can think of lots of other things Alfonso hasn't done. Even if he decided to do some of those things though the delicious baked goods he brings us would probably make it all ok.

As for making the person's life a living hell who moved you yesterday, I say go ahead, she has made lots of other peoples lives hell so it has to get back to her sometime.

message 16: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) hes not a problem - hes never been a problem. he has always been respectful of the books and courteous and quiet and well-bred. unlike so many. fonso knows how to treat a bookstore. hows that for praise?

message 17: by Greg (new)

Greg Also our store would never have a pyramid of Grisham books. We have some pride in the store even if the company as a whole is a stinking pile of shit.

message 18: by karen (last edited Jan 30, 2009 06:59PM) (new)

karen (karenbrissette) actually - we could make a pyramid tomorrow of the new one that he came in and signed 1200 of... that would make an impressive pyramid. for customers to live in.

message 19: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell given or gotten a blow job in the romance aisle

Well, which aisle should a person go to for that, if not romance?

message 20: by Greg (new)

Greg or we could make them into a little house and stick you know who in and then light it on fire.

message 21: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) dick-tionaries

message 22: by Greg (new)

Greg the kids section?

Jackie "the Librarian" Gee, sounds just like the library to me...

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments 1. When I’m wrong I lower my head and shut the fuck up! I aint wrong here so fuck that bitch…
2. Yes bunny, there is one right there in my corner… such a horrid place… unless I need to check their cooking books I don’t stop by… the employees are mad rude… don’t blame em is in lefrak city =P
3. Mr greg you a jew???? Dude I’ve been complaining that I haven’t meet one since I came to America and in the movies they everywhere!!!! Remind me that I need to ask you a few questions next time I see you!!!

message 25: by Greg (new)

Greg In response to number point three. My jewishness. Technically I am 1/4 jewish, but my grandfather converted. The rest of his branch of the family is jewish, but i think i've ever met any of them once. Certain people on my dad's side of the family will deny that there is any jew in them, but um they are wrong. But from a jewish point of view since my mom is 100% irish/catholic shiska I would not be recognized as jewish at all. I've also never once been in a synagogue, I was too uncool in middle school to be invited to even one bar mitzvah and i've never once worn one of those head things, but i did use one once as a frisbee.

message 26: by Greg (new)

Greg oh I guess what I was getting at was while Hitler might have found it nice to gas me, I probably can't answer any questions your have about jews, unless the information comes from woody allen movies or philip roth books.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Booooo!!! One of my questions was going to be how you call that shit!!! I’ve been dying to stop the people that I see wearing it… and ask em how it’s call… I came really close once when I saw a dude marking his Hebrew bible (or what I thought was a Hebrew bible I don’t know it was in a language that I don’t understand) and ask him… but I’m too shy!!! Besides all I know about jews comes from woody Allen movies and Seinfeld =(

message 28: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 30, 2009 09:04PM) (new)

The yarmulke? Are you forgetting to consult Mother Google?

message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

Cross-posting with Bunny is the best.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments I want my answers from a living jew!!! I once had this black kid who told me he was a jew… and I was like cool!!! Can I go to “church” (I excused my ignorance) and he told me yeah! And then he started telling me that jesus wasent coming back till we killed the white man (who is the devil) and then I told him I was just joking when I said that… and stayed the fuck away from him!

message 31: by Greg (new)

Greg I was going to call it by the proper name, but I didn't know how to spell yarmulke. I could have answered that for you Alfonso, as long as you didn't want it spelled. I can also show you where the jewish bibles (yes one publisher does call it the jewish bible).

message 32: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) and we can get alice to make him some yummy "chicken latkes". we will jew you up in no time!

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments i'm still a vegetarian =P

message 34: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell How do make chicken latkas? Does the chicken go into the latkas or on top?

My birth mother is from Israel and taught Hebrew school. She's definitely the most Jewish person I know.

message 35: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) theyre not actually latkes, they are this yummy thing alice made me with ground chicken and wet bread that are all pattied and delicious. those are the only ingredients i know - but shes going to teach me how. the russian jewess...

and i always forget you dont eat meat. its so stupid.

message 36: by Greg (new)

Greg i guess you'll have to settle for matzo balls and potato pancakes.

message 37: by [deleted user] (new)


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Guahahah did you know that your thanks giving turkey is the only TG turkey I’ve ever ate =P

message 39: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) with applesauce

message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

Hey, look! It's the Gingerbread Boy, Jewish style!

message 41: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell BTW, the Jewish scriptures are called the Tanakh, of which the most important part is the Torah.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments What about humus…? I saw the zohan eating it!!!

message 43: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) it was only a shred of accidental turkey and you know you loved it. it stuck to the potatoes - how was i to know??

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Guahahah you was trying to kill me!!!! I had to practically filter the damn tatoes when I got home to eat em!!! They were delicious tho!! You was right they do tasted better when warm!

message 45: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) gruyere and mascarpone.... cant go wrong there

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Omg you spell it right!!!!

message 47: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) hahaahaha i know how to spell it, i just mispronounce it.... gregs the one who cant spell...

message 48: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) or pronounce

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments I got a few emails that differ with your story… that and an angry deli staff member who don’t think I’m funny!

message 50: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) most of those are typings though - i cant type worth shit. but im better than i was, believe it or not. now its dinner time!!!!

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