✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)'s Reviews > The Getaway God

The Getaway God by Richard Kadrey
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💥 May 15, 2019: only $1.99 today!!!

Actual rating: 8 stars. Because this is kinda sorta the best instalment in this series so far and stuff.

Okay, people, we need to talk. Why the bloody fish are you still NOT reading this series (view spoiler)? I know this is only the best freaking UF series with a male lead ever (with my boyfriend Daniel Faust, of course), but still. I do not give a flying shrimp if you have too many books to read as it is, if your pet barnacle ate your homework, or if you have a ridiculous crush on silly Harry Happy Dresden (the wimp wouldn't last one quarter of a millisecond in my boyfriend Sandman Slim's world, just so you know)! I've had it with your preposterous excuses! So either you start reading this series by the end of the year month week day, or I'm unleashing the murderous crustaceans on you! Oops, looks like you're all dead. How frightfully regrettable for you stuff. Yay for me, though. Because it means that I can now wantonly smooch my boyfriend 24/7 without having to worry about one of you People of Despicable Book Taste (PoDBT™) trying to snatch him away from me and stuff.

Such a hot threesome we make, my Jimmy Stark, his beloved Maledictions (view spoiler) and my super sexy orangey self. It's beautiful. But I ever so slightly digress.

Since you're still NOT reading this series (view spoiler) despite my relentless fangirling enthusiasm, I think a little rehashing refresher course is in order here. So. This series is gloriously dark, this series is beautifully fished up. This series is overpopulated with deliciously shrimped up characters who are most splendidly lacking in the moral compass department. Also, this series is violence, blood, horror, gore, spilled innards, severed limbs, the works, YUM. Also, also, this series is brilliant literary and cinema references heaven. Also, also, also this series is HA HA bloody HA. Damn, there's so much scrumptious stuff here, someone should try and make a series of this or something. Oh, wait, I think someone already did. Bloody shrimping hell, what a glorious idea!

Rehashing Recap Express Summarization Time (RRESCT™): this series is slightly orgasmic. Despite being written in First Person Present Tense of Doom (FPPToD™). So QED and stuff read this now or die dead via serrated pincers and stuff. You are quite welcome.

Moving on.

Okay, so my boyfriend was kinda sorta feeling under the weather in the last instalment. He was getting all reasonable and almost nice and stuff, which was pretty disgusting and made my exoskeleton shudder more than once as I was reading the book. Extreme measures were in order, so I had Jimmy summoned to Fleet Admiral DaShrimp's office, speedy chastening ensued and tada! We're back in Jimmy's an Irreverently Ruthless Smartass with a Bad Attitude Land (JaIRSwaBAL™)! Pure bliss and stuff. And I have to say that Jimmy got his groove back just in time to save the world from a bunch of ancient, pissed off, a little vengeful, slightly deranged gods.

“Wisdom comes from knowledge. Knowledge begins with theories.” “I don’t want wisdom. I want a bazooka.”

That's my boy!

A good thing the Admiral's tender loving care got Jimmy back in tip-top shape, too. Because what with Heaven and Hell Downtown being spoiler spoiler spoiler, a meat Notre Dame (don't ask), a slightly aggravating, sanctimonious 400-hundred years old Japanese mummy who keeps calling my boyfriend "fatty" (the nerve! Admiral, unleash the shrimps!), human chop shops, one big happy (if slightly dysfunctional) godly family, a somewhat psychotic serial killer, blood torrential rain, the spoiler spoiler spoiler predicament, suicidal hellions, a 747 having rough sex with a skyscraper on a pile of exploding transformers (don't ask) and getting successively crushed, tossed around, beaten and shot at, my Jimmy is going to need all his gloriously blasphemous, shameless stamina (yes, that is a thing) if he wants to survive this instalment and then enjoy a well-deserved subaquatic holiday in my most delectable company.

Yes, I think a relaxing, restful stay at the Murderous Crab Inn is definitely in order here. For both Jimmy and me. Because the book kinda sorta ended like…oh bloody hell shocker! Oh bloody hell plot twist! Oh bloody hell bloody hell bloody hell bloody hell!!!!!! HALP!

» And the moral of this Bloody Shrimping Hell My Little Barnacles I know My Reviews Are Super Crappy and Stuff but do your Little Arthropodic Selves a Favor and Bloody Shrimping Read this Series Already Crappy Non Review (BSHMLBIKMRASCaSbDYLASaFaBSRtSACNR™) is: Jimmy Baby, when you're done saving the undeserving puny humans for the umpteenth time, please feel free to come and save me and stuff. Thank thee kindly.

P.S. Sandman Slim, you are slightly hot.
P.P.S. Sandman Slim, you are slightly MINE.

· Book 1: Sandman Slim ★★★★★
· Book 2: Kill the Dead ★★★★★
· Book 3: Aloha from Hell ★★★★
· Book 3.5: Devil in the Dollhouse ★★★★★
· Book 4: Devil Said Bang ★★★★
· Book 5: Kill City Blues ★★★★
· Book 7: Killing Pretty ★★★★
· Book 8: The Perdition Score ★★★★★
· Book 9: The Kill Society ★★★★★
· Book 10: Hollywood Dead ★★★★★

[Pre-review nonsense]

There's a slight chance this might be the best bloody shrimping instalment in my boyfriend Jimmy Stark's deliciously dark and twisted adventures. Maybe. I mean, what with pissed-off ancient gods, spoiler spoiler spoiler, an aggravatingly self-righteous Japanese mummy, spoiler spoiler spoiler, human chop shops and spoiler spoiler spoiler, I do think this one could be NOT the crappiest book in this series. Possibly. Also, my boyfriend is slightly hot.

Super sexy, super badass and super mine. That's my Sandman Slim alright!

➽ Full I am So in Lurve with this Beautifully Fished-Up World and the Bastard Who Keeps Saving It that I Might Sacrifice a Few Puny Humans to Celebrate and Stuff Crappy Non Review (IaSiLwtBFUWatBWKSitIMSaFPHtCaSCNR™) to come.
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Reading Progress

October 1, 2017 – Shelved
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: to-read
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: wishlist
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: favourite-series
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: urban-fantasy
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: demons-are-yummy
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: angels-are-assholes
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: poof-gone-harem
October 1, 2017 – Shelved as: darker-is-cooler
October 21, 2017 – Shelved as: gloriously-fucked-up-characters
October 21, 2017 – Shelved as: assholes-and-liars-everywhere-yay
December 21, 2017 – Started Reading
December 24, 2017 – Finished Reading
December 25, 2017 – Shelved as: 2017
December 25, 2017 – Shelved as: absolute-favourites
December 25, 2017 – Shelved as: blood-and-gore-and-violence-oh-my
December 25, 2017 – Shelved as: cool-kick-ass-chicks-harem
January 14, 2018 – Shelved as: uf-with-male-lead
January 26, 2018 – Shelved as: wondrous-mr-kadrey

Comments (showing 1-12)

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message 12: by Jilly (new)

Jilly Okay, it sounds like I should try this series because you love it and we all know how picky you are good your taste is. :D

✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) It's funny I could have sworn you said something about me being picky in your comment, but now I only see your mentioning my good taste. I must have dreamt or something.

P.S. You are allowed to read this series but keep your hands off my boyfriend. Thank you.

message 10: by Jilly (new)

Jilly No! Never! You are known for your patience in finishing books and your love of every genre. ;)

✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Exactly! Must have been yet another GR glitch or something.

message 8: by Yodamom (new)

Yodamom 8 stars, sounds good

✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) I originally wanted to rate it 10 stars but thought it would be overdoing it a bit:D

message 6: by Yodamom (new)

Yodamom LOL, moderation
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "I originally wanted to rate it 10 stars but thought it would be overdoing it a bit:D"

Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin Good Lord! My sweet murderous pea said 8 stars!! Where is my damn pen, I need to journal this 😄 I will ha d to add the first book to Amazon list 😘

✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Of course I rated it 8 stars! My boyfriend is super hot slightly wonderful like that!:D Wait. What do you mean you just added the first book in the series to your Amazon list?! It wasn't there before?! And we're still friends?! *gasps*

Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin Bwahaha!!

Wait! Hot guy! I love me some hot guys. I spend too much time daydreaming about hot guys everyday instead of reading! 😄

message 2: by Kesha (new) - added it

Kesha Where is it on sale for $1.99?

✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Kesha wrote: "Where is it on sale for $1.99?"

It was on Amazon on May 15 (I checked before updating my review). Did you manage to get it on sale?

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