emma's Reviews > The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
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did not like it
bookshelves: contemporary, nope, unpopular-opinion, 1-star, ya, reviewed, comments

This is the John Green-i-est book of all John Green books, and I hate it and him more than anything.

My sister and I actually have a running joke where we just quote this book back and forth to each other. Although honestly anytime anyone says "It's a metaphor," I immediately say "ya put tha killin' thing between ya teeth but ya don't give it the power to do its killin'!", affecting the mannerisms of a stereotypical paperboy from the 1920s.

It gets a laugh every time. (Or at least a sound of disgust, which is just as satisfying within this context.)

There are just so many laughable quotes. "I fell in love the way you fall asleep: Slowly, then all at once." "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." "It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you." "Because you are beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence." (That one is a good one if you, like me, love your friends a lot but are bad at compliments. This will ensure that they know you love them, but also prevent them from ever wanting to talk to you ever again.)

Oh, and: "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations." (That last one is probably my favorite, because it gets the most horrified reaction from the audience.) And how could I almost forget the classics: "Maybe 'okay' could be our 'always.'" (Also, of course I had to look up those quotes. While I love John Green jokes, my brain is so inherently opposed to him that I cannot memorize his sh*t for the life of me. I still mess up the killing thing between your teeth quote, and I say that one at least weekly.)

Anyway. It's comedy gold because this crap is cringe-worth-i-ly affected and pretentious and unrealistic, but also focuses on basic key words and concepts you can latch onto and bring up in pretty much any given conversation.

What? Yes, all of my friends do hate me. Why do you ask?

I am just about full to bursting and sick to death of John Green's quasi-profound books and boring guys and manic girls and token diverse background characters with one quirk and not much else. I don't know how much more pretentious dialogue and profound ponderings and fake teenage angst I can take.

Perhaps unsurprisingly,t his is not so much of a mini review, but I feel like I've had a buildup of John Green-directed anger of late. Don't get me wrong, I'm constantly boiling in it, just due to who I am as a person, but his return to writing and that ugly cover reveal are making me even madder. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, JOHN. IS THIS BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WILL HAVE TO READ YOUR NEW BOOK, SINCE I HAVE LONG JUSTIFIED MY HATRED FOR YOU BY SAYING I'VE READ ALL YOUR SH*T AND DISLIKED IT ALL?

Can you tell that I somewhat irrationally believe he knows that I hate him? I've been so outspoken about it. Granted, over half of that outright opposition took place in my junior year AP World History class, but still. The man could have eyes everywhere.

Why, you may ask, do I continue to scream about him if I'm so scared he and his cringey YouTube videos and rabid fans will come for my life?

Because he is horrible. I enjoy ranting about horrible people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence.

(This is part of a project I am doing wherein I write mini reviews of books I read a long time ago. Yes, I am aware that this doesn't exactly fit anyone's definition of a mini review.)
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Reading Progress

Started Reading
March 29, 2014 – Finished Reading
July 7, 2014 – Shelved

Comments Showing 1-50 of 70 (70 new)


Mel (Epic Reading) Yeah another Green hater!!
Also when any review says something is like Green my first thought is ewww!
Most unrealistic and ridiculous teen romances ever.


Preena I've only read TFIOS and i don't want to read any other books by John Green.


message 3: by Olivia (new)

Olivia After reading Looking for Alaska, I never picked up another John Green book. His books are overrated.


La Coccinelle Yay! Someone else who finds this book unbearably pretentious. (I'm glad I don't profess to hate all his books so I don't have to read any more of them.)


message 5: by STEFANI (new)

STEFANI People always talk about how LFA is "his best", so when I read it and pretty much hated every character (or lack thereof) and most of the plot points, I realized I didn't need to waste time reading anything else.


Asha Pretentious is the perfect word to describe this book! Who talks like that? You sound like you're trying too hard, Augustus. Simmer down.


BellaGBear I am so glad somebody said it. Your review vboices exactly why I did not like the book. Pretentious teenagers, boring anf full of shit :P


˗ˏˋ L I Z ˎˊ˗ THANK GOD YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ME!!! I'm not much lover of his books, I dont even know why everyone else is in love with them!!!! JUST DONTW GET IT. those books are way so overrated.


message 9: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Mel (Epic Reading) wrote: "Yeah another Green hater!!
Also when any review says something is like Green my first thought is ewww!
Most unrealistic and ridiculous teen romances ever."


i know! like not only has nothing like his romances ever happened in the history of humanity, i would never WANT IT to happen


message 10: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Preena wrote: "I've only read TFIOS and i don't want to read any other books by John Green."

GOOD CALL


message 11: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Olivia wrote: "After reading Looking for Alaska, I never picked up another John Green book. His books are overrated."

yes, can confirm that they are completely all bad


message 12: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma La Coccinelle wrote: "Yay! Someone else who finds this book unbearably pretentious. (I'm glad I don't profess to hate all his books so I don't have to read any more of them.)"

your life choices are far superior to mine


message 13: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Stefani wrote: "People always talk about how LFA is "his best", so when I read it and pretty much hated every character (or lack thereof) and most of the plot points, I realized I didn't need to waste time reading..."

looking for alaska is like tfios except hold the cancer and the plot but keep all of the unlikable characters and unrealistic pretentiousness and the death


message 14: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Asha wrote: "Pretentious is the perfect word to describe this book! Who talks like that? You sound like you're trying too hard, Augustus. Simmer down."

HOW IS ALL OF THE DIALOGUE SO UNREALISTIC IT'S BONKERS


message 15: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma BellaGBear wrote: "I am so glad somebody said it. Your review vboices exactly why I did not like the book. Pretentious teenagers, boring anf full of shit :P"

YES


message 16: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma `liz´ wrote: "THANK GOD YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ME!!! I'm not much lover of his books, I dont even know why everyone else is in love with them!!!! JUST DONTW GET IT. those books are way so overrated."

yes!!! boring and annoying and pretentious and unlikable characters and overdramatic and just. so. bleh.


message 17: by Britt (new)

Britt I hate John Green too!!! We had to put up with his history videos in my 11th grade AP US History class -bangs head on desk-
It's even worse here because I happen to live in Indiana, super close to where he's from, and he's totally, 100% glorified here


Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ Emma! Other than his books being blah, is there a reason you don't like John Green as a person? If you have a review where you've talked about that already I'd love to go read it! <3


spencer I just want to ask, I don't keep up with authors, what has he done that makes him horrible. And I agree, his books are ridiculous


emily dang it I completely agree with you


message 21: by emma (last edited Aug 19, 2017 10:08AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ wrote: "Emma! Other than his books being blah, is there a reason you don't like John Green as a person? If you have a review where you've talked about that already I'd love to go read it! <3"

i've never written a post on it! but the short(er) answer is:
- his books target the very target-able slice of the teenage girl demographic that feels misunderstood, and then panders hard to that group, which rubs me the wrong way

- most of his books detail an irresistibly manic girl, valuable for her mysteriousness, instructing or changing or manic-ify-ing a vanilla boy, which i'm sure is really damaging to the burgeoning senses of self in said target-able teenage girls

- the characters in this book have their first kiss (i think it's the first) in Anne Frank's annex. where two soon-to-be-exterminated families were taken away by nazis. perhaps the place most symbolic of the holocaust outside of auschwitz

- he's been known to respond to people hating on him/his works (which i jokingly reference in this review) - in one example, he ended up ""leaving"" tumblr in response to one girl's complaints about his pandering to teenage girls, resulting in the entirety of the internet - including adult authors like rainbow rowell and maggie stiefvater and patrick ness - piling hate and blame onto said girl

- i really like this article http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2... on the former point

- and if we're going to end careers of authors - and rightly so - who have any backlash against readers, why is this ok?

-he's been known to stand up for internet people who have done, like, supremely not ok shit

- he's so weird with body shaming - he's fat-shamed and thin-shamed and plastic surgery-shamed

- “she was incredibly hot, in that popular-girl-with-bleached-teeth-and-anorexia kind of way, which was Colin’s least favourite way of being hot” and other girl-hating bullshit like that

something about him just always has rubbed me the wrong way. he's held up as king of tumblr, king of youtube, king of ya and has been totally immune to these things that would end the careers of less established authors.

i get his appeal, and i don't blame people for being into him, but the scope and reasons for his appeal are exactly what makes him unappealing to me. if that makes sense.

i am not ruling out writing a post about this in the future, clearly even my shortened response is very long lmao


message 22: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma ☾Anastasia wrote: "I just want to ask, I don't keep up with authors, what has he done that makes him horrible. And I agree, his books are ridiculous"

the comment i wrote immediately above this one is my attempt to answer this! many people have written much better answers but this one is mine


message 23: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma JAYNE wrote: "dang it I completely agree with you"

heart heart heart


message 24: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Britt wrote: "I hate John Green too!!! We had to put up with his history videos in my 11th grade AP US History class -bangs head on desk-
It's even worse here because I happen to live in Indiana, super close to ..."


we watched them in my ap world class! all!!! the!!! time!!! it's horrible when you're forced to watch him educationally and caaaaaan't escaaaaaape

god it must b especially pervasive in indiana


Elizabeth Jackson Ha ha ha dying. The Anne Frank thing I have just never gotten over. WHY IS IT OK TO MAKE OUT IN THE ANNE FRANK HOUSE. AND THEN PEOPLE CLAP. no. Just no.


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ I liked it first!!!! XD Seriously though, great review Emma!


message 27: by Kenan (new)

Kenan Regardless of agreeing or not on the book, the delivery in this review is just *so* great, you win Goodreads, congrats.


message 28: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Elizabeth wrote: "Ha ha ha dying. The Anne Frank thing I have just never gotten over. WHY IS IT OK TO MAKE OUT IN THE ANNE FRANK HOUSE. AND THEN PEOPLE CLAP. no. Just no."

lmaoooo that scene in the movie is just awful. the visual depiction somehow makes it a mILLION times worse


message 29: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ (of badger and SNAKE) wrote: "I liked it first!!!! XD Seriously though, great review Emma!"

lmao i legit love you


message 30: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Sevly wrote: "Regardless of agreeing or not on the book, the delivery in this review is just *so* great, you win Goodreads, congrats."

thank you! can't wait to go mad with power and add half stars as this is now my website


Caidyn (SEMI-HIATUS; BW Reviews; he/him/his) (I don't like John Green either, but I'm pushing in on one point.) I've been to Anne Frank's house. People cry and are emotional and stunned and shocked. There are films playing and you read all these things that happened to the Frank family. Sorry, but no one's going to be clapping about two teenagers making out. They'll probably be more annoyed about them disrespecting that place.


Leona  Carstairs I don't get how he is popular. I don't like him very much.


message 33: by The Captain (new)

The Captain I keep seeing how much me crew members like John Green books and keep waffling on if I should try one. If those quotes represent his writing style then me thoughts are cemented. NO.


message 34: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma The Captain wrote: "I keep seeing how much me crew members like John Green books and keep waffling on if I should try one. If those quotes represent his writing style then me thoughts are cemented. NO."

literally everything he writes is that overwrought and quasi-profound


message 35: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Leona wrote: "I don't get how he is popular. I don't like him very much."

retweet


message 36: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Caidyn (BW Book Reviews) wrote: "(I don't like John Green either, but I'm pushing in on one point.) I've been to Anne Frank's house. People cry and are emotional and stunned and shocked. There are films playing and you read all th..."

right???????? i still can't believe that moment is in a bestselling book and a successful movie, it's offensive and unrealistic and horrible


message 37: by Lexie (new)

Lexie wow just wow lol


message 38: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Lexie wrote: "wow just wow lol"

??


hannah ✧/ᐠ-ꞈ-ᐟ\ (on hiatus) this is by far the best John green review I've read in a while, and I like John green 👏

i honestly don't know whether his TFIOS metaphors are funny because they're so overused, or because they're just really bad metaphors


message 40: by ashley &#x1f308; (new)

ashley &#x1f308; This is so mean...... I fucking love it


message 41: by ashley &#x1f308; (new)

ashley &#x1f308; There's so many things wrong with his writing. NO DIVERSITY except a background token character, but this is a problem with most books. Boring as fuck plots, teenagers talking like old style poets??? I mean have you ever actually met a teenage boy??


message 42: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma ❁ hannah (PB&B) ❁ wrote: "this is by far the best John green review I've read in a while, and I like John green 👏

i honestly don't know whether his TFIOS metaphors are funny because they're so overused, or because they're..."


THANKS QUEEN. & that's a real chicken-or-the-egg philosophical question


message 43: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Ashley wrote: "This is so mean...... I fucking love it"

Ashley wrote: "There's so many things wrong with his writing. NO DIVERSITY except a background token character, but this is a problem with most books. Boring as fuck plots, teenagers talking like old style poets?..."

the best comment i could receive. and i kNOW, there's not a teenager on earth who talks like this and even if there were i would Not be interested in meeting them


Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ emma wrote: "Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ wrote: "Emma! Other than his books being blah, is there a reason you don't like John Green as a person? If you have a review where you've talked about that already I'd love ..."

Wow thank you! I actually love discussing this topic with people so I just had to ask you when I read your review! Very thoughtful response & thank you for linking that article because I believe it was written in a very balanced way! <3


message 45: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ wrote: "emma wrote: "Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ wrote: "Emma! Other than his books being blah, is there a reason you don't like John Green as a person? If you have a review where you've talked about that alre..."

ah thank you fave <3 i am glad people like him and would never try to stop them from doing so!! (despite what may have been said about my actions in a certain junior-year history class of which his videos were in the curriculum...) i super like discussing it so yay :-)


Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ You're welcome my lovely! Haha I sort of have this weird thing because I actually started watching the vlogbrothers in like 2006 right and so it's just weird to see John now vs John then & all the stuff he's been accused of & seen doing & saying sorta makes me go ???? even tho like all that educational stuff they do is good I guess but I'm still like ok what about all that other shit ???? & I completely agree on the manic girl character junk. In fact, TFIOS was the first book of his I actually enjoyed but there's no denying it's all got that "existential crisis-y pseudo-philosophical teenage ramble ramble" feeling & I haven't been his biggest fan in that regard. PS I'd literally laugh so hard if I heard you say the killing thing quote omg 😂


message 47: by emma (new) - rated it 1 star

emma Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~ wrote: "You're welcome my lovely! Haha I sort of have this weird thing because I actually started watching the vlogbrothers in like 2006 right and so it's just weird to see John now vs John then & all the ..."

IDK WHY I'M JUST SEEING THIS BUT I LOVE YOU. i can def see the appeal of this book over the others


message 48: by Bri (new)

Bri YES, EMMA. DRAG IT


vicтoria. PREACH IT GIRL. This portrays my feelings for John Green so well that I actually feel blessed to have stumbled upon it. 👏


message 50: by Karly (new) - added it

Karly Hazelrigg Okay so. I friended you here because your reviews and bio and just general way of speaking (typing?) make me think of myself a bit and mostly that we would be really good friends in real life and so whenever i read a book, or am interested in a book, i always look to see if you’ve reviewed it and how our opinions line up—and they’re usually in sync. So then i just re-read Paper Towns and went to see if you reviewed and there are stars but no actual review, so naturally i came here next. And listen. I did NOT enjoy this book. AT. ALL. Basically everything you said here about TFiOS is everything that i feel on a deep spiritual level. It makes me want to rip my hair out and stuff it down the throats of people who sing its praises (the book, not your review). However, i’m interested to hear what you thought of Paper Towns, because upon re-reading it (read it years ago in school, then took on TFiOS after all the hype and DESPISED it and suddenly questioned my younger self’s judgment, so read goodreads reviews and another user i follow recommended re-reading because she felt how i did and thus re-read it and still really liked it and so that’s what i did and i apologize for all this information that you certainly did not need) i actually still really enjoyed it. But i cannot abide TFiOS and find it exceedingly strange the divide that it creates in the literary world, especially when you factor in people’s opinions on the rest of his stuff. Anyway I have said waaaaaay too freaking much and again i apologize for that but (having never spoken to you in real life or over the interwebs) i feel that we are very similar and would make good friends and thus want to know how you feel about PT but also want to inform you that your review here is v accurate and even if you hate me for this absurdly long and overly detailed response we can still be friends solely on the basis of our mutual hatred of this piece of trash disguised as a novel. Also i hate Augustus and hazel and their ridiculous not-teenager-ness and their tendency to make out in really inappropriate places and other people’s (real or in the book) reactions to them that are WRONG and i loved your response to the girl asking why you hate him and that article you posted.

Also as you can perhaps tell from my likely spotty capitalization i am like you in that i am inclined not to capitalize things very often (i even have the auto-capitalize feature turned off on my phone so basically anything i type there looks like your responses) but i wrote this from my ipad and do NOT have the auto-capitalize feature turned off here because mostly i am too lazy and also sometimes i send professional emails from it so my typing is 70% autocorrect and 30% me typing the way i talk and you end up with this nonsense. Now i shall end this with what you deserve: 🤜🏻 (it’s a fist bump, not a punch. to clarify.)


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