Francine Soleil's Reviews > Will The Real Abi Saunders Please Stand Up?

Will The Real Abi Saunders Please Stand Up? by Sara Hantz
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May 08, 2014

bookshelves: did-not-finish

I tried. I really did. But I couldn't do it. I stopped at 40% (probably more since there were book extras at 90% of my ebook) and skipped to the last chapter and simply skimmed it.

To whom it may concern, please do the following:

1. Pass the salt. This book was bland bland bland. Do you know what it feels like to have a poker face for an hour of reading? Actually, I don't think I even read this book for an hour straight. I needed the breaks because I got easily bored. I cannot count the times where a handful of character laugh in the book, but I wasn't laughing at all. I wasn't even amused.

2. Hide the cookie cutters. I don't think I met all of the characters in the book because I didn't finish it, but I think I saw the prominent ones. What do we have? The lowly, reserved goody-two-shoes who finds her way into the movie scene. The starstruck super supportive female best friend. The male best friend who is the protagonist's secret crush, but who "doesn't do commitment." The b*tchy, popular and beautiful actress. The charming, handsome guy who is secretly a jerk.

3. Shoot Captain Obvious. I think this disturbed me the most, and added a lot to the blandness. Like what I said in #1, it's like the author is telling me to "laugh here." I felt like the writing was so dumbed down. It felt repetitive even. Like how many times do you have to say that your flirtatious best friend is not available? And I just wanted to hit my head on the wall.

"And we want to be in the in-crowd because?" My lips twitch as I try to maintain a serious face. I know exactly why she wants a higher profile.
"You mean apart from being noticed by Austin?" Live replies.
Austin is the guy from a local school that Liv thinks is really hot.

4. Call in the exorcist. Someone's living inside Abi's body. WHO ARE YOU? Abi is such an awful character. I don't understand her at all. She keeps on putting people on pedestals and knocking them down. Sometimes I feel like she gets so judgmental.One moment she's so insecure and the next she's suddenly confident. She loves one guy for the longest time, and suddenly likes another in a matter of days. She gets so whiny and selfish. She's like "I don't want to do this, but why aren't you all praising me?"

(view spoiler)

I am so so disappointed by this book. I was actually looking forward to reading it because the concept was so interesting. I was expecting a strong, badass female protagonist, but all I got was a petty, stupid girl.
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Reading Progress

May 8, 2014 – Shelved
May 8, 2014 –
10.0% "wow, these people are easily swayed. A person in dire need of a stunt double gives up, and a very reserved person who didn't want it in the first place suddenly gets confident."
May 8, 2014 –
14.0% ""I hope he doesn't mind being left there on his own. Actually, why would he? He's a guy." What in the world does that even mean?"
May 8, 2014 –
17.0% "ugh. why is it that ostensibly of the text is explanation. it feels so unnatural and clunky. I'm not sure how to explain it. It's like a short burst of dialogue, and a long inner monologue of explanation. I think someone needs to shoot down Captain Obvious."
May 8, 2014 –
27.0% "whiny whiny Abi"
May 9, 2014 –
28.0% "someone hide the cookie cutters"
May 9, 2014 –
38.0% "there's a lot of "he laughs, she laughs, they laugh, I laugh, we laugh" but I'm not finding anything funny at all"
May 9, 2014 – Shelved as: dnf
May 9, 2014 – Shelved as: did-not-finish

Comments (showing 1-4 of 4) (4 new)

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message 1: by Christine (new)

Christine Ditzel I laughed so hard reading this review! Thank you so much for posting this, now I know to stay far far away from this book!

Francine Soleil I'm glad I made you laugh. I'm not usually good at it. :P thanks for reading!

message 3: by Christine (new)

Christine Ditzel Francine Soleil (Always Lost in Books) wrote: "I'm glad I made you laugh. I'm not usually good at it. :P thanks for reading!"

It was the introductions to each paragraph that did it, especially #'s 3 and 4. :D

Also, that spoiler was awesome! Well, awesome in that I wanted to smack the characters from that one snippet.

Ella Janine *goes to corner and reads the book again with a non-depressed mind* lol

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