Kat's Reviews > Convicted

Convicted by Aleatha Romig
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I hated it so much that if I could cast the book into exile, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

The whole thing was one big giant mess and I have to ask Aleatha Romig

because this book is the perfect example of when an author loses the plot and becomes bogged down by their own pretentiousness.

I've been doing a good and bad round up with my reviews lately but that won't be necessary here because there was not a single thing good about it.

So these are my grumbles & instigators of my rage instead.

First the grumbles:

- Claire and Claire being with 'child.'

Having a woman like Claire Nichols/Rawlings as your heroine is not a good idea. She was STILL stupid, she was STILL annoying and she STILL cried. The book even tried to blame her crying on being pregnant! Nuh uh. No. I'm not buying that. Especially as the crying began well before she became pregnant. As for being stupid, how about this? Claire got more angry with Harry for lying about being a FBI agent than she did with Tony.

I know being lied to is horrible and being lied to by someone you trust is worse but no way is being lied to worse than being abducted, raped, abused and framed for attempted murder. But I guess you'd think this way if your name is Claire and you are a fucktard.

Pregnancy storylines can be boring. Especially when they go on for a long time. Claire was pregnant in this book until the 76% mark which was bad enough but her pregnancy actually started way back when these

were roaming the planet (Only joking. She actually became pregnant around the 69% mark in Truth). Imagine reading for three quarters of this book and almost a third of the previous book 'child' 'my child' 'our child' 'this child' and also continuous hands on midsection bullshit. Do you think that sounds like fun? I can tell you right now it really wasn't. Also when the spawn was born (look at me rhyming), it COOED. Yep, apparently In The World According To Aleatha Romig a baby can coo.

- Dear Diary.

Meredith, when she went undercover she wrote diary entries when Claire was (rightly in my opinion) incarcerated in a mental place. These diary entries read like a teenage girl wrote them. That shouldn't have been a problem except for the fact Meredith was a grown woman in her 30's. Also it was full of so many unnecessary -!!!!!

- The transformation of Harry.

I was a fan of Harry for a while but his personality transplant from Truth to Convicted made him so unlikeable. It made it worse that it was done to aid the completely ridiculous plot of: The Bird Brained Idiot forgiving Señor Dickhead.

- The Writing. Again.

I had my problems with the writing in the two previous books, but in Convicted the writing was taken to new levels of Fuck Me, That's Bad. Aleatha Romig clearly never came into contact with a thesaurus like I hoped she would as the repetitive shit from the previous books was STILL. GOING. ON. And to rub salt into my already very annoyed wounds she continued with the wholly inappropriate animal theme. Even adding suckling to the mix. There is no place in a book that is not about animals for purring, cooing and suckling. This is a lesson for anyone/Aleatha Romig who may be confused about what actually purrs, coos and suckles. I'll give you a clue it's NOT an adult human being.

If you ever happen to be on a farm suckling is a common occurrence there from these:

There was also a paragraph in this book which I thought was one of the most disgusting things I've ever read. This was on page 318:
Claire hugged Tony's face to her breasts while his hands caressed and encouraged. Nichol wasn't the only one who enjoyed the liquid feast Claire had to offer.
In case this doesn't make complete sense, I'll explain. Nichol is Claire and Tony's baby. This is saying that Tony drank Claire's breast milk. From her breasts. CLAIRE BREASTFED TONY.

To put it in perspective how much I found this yucky, I read on the same day a book which had tentacle sex in it. I found Claire breastfeeding Tony worse than tentacle sex. Never thought I'd ever write something like that.

- Rewriting the same shit.

Some of the book is set in 2013 and some of it is set in 2016. I'm okay with books being set in different years that wasn't the problem. My problem was, a scene which was more than a page long, was written almost exactly the same bar a couple of words TWICE. So I read the same thing TWICE. Once at 38% then again at 59%. I initially thought I'd 'lost my page' and accidentally went back in the book. But this wasn't the case at all. What gave it away was an unfortunate spelling mistake that I mocked in my updates. This wasn't simply a case of the same thing being told from different peoples perspectives. It was the same thing told from the same person at different times. I hated this. It made me confused. And it screamed of an inability to structure a storyline by Aleatha Romig.

Finally - Stupidly Written Stuff.

More than once somebody put their head on their elbow. How is this even possible?!?! Try it for yourself, I bet you can't do it.

Spelling fucking like fuck'n is dumb. I tried pronouncing it as it's spelt. This did not go well.

Aleatha Romig kept writing about a 'financial institution.' A 'financial institution' to you and me would be a bank but if you're being verbose you write 'financial institution' instead. What-the-fuck-ever.

Now for the instigators of my rage:

- The Ending.

So I think I've said before these books were nearly 1500 pages long. So you'd think after all the time you spent reading them the ending is going to be epic right? RIGHT?! WRONG!!! The ending was a bigger anti-climax than my sex life with my ex. True story. Catherine and Amber were behind a lot of things but they were all resolved really quickly. I felt cheated by this. It was like Aleatha Romig spent too much time fucking about with repeating things, shit sub-plots and making me want to kill everyone bar Emily that she forgot you have to do a fitting ending.

- Sub-Plots.

There were three sub-plots in particular that had me raging.
1) Who had Harry abducted and beaten up?
2) Who sent Tony mail in prison?
3) Who sent Nichol an anonymous present?
I got seriously confused about these when I finished reading the book because I thought I'd missed the answers. Turns out I didn't. This was because THE FUCKING ANSWERS WERE NOT FUCKING WRITTEN. I was told by a fellow Goodreader that Aleatha Romig was asked about these and she admitted they weren't answered directly in the book. They were inferred to. WHAT? THAT. IS. FUCKED. UP. Since when is it okay to infer answers? After reading books that went on for nearly 1500 pages in total you'd think you would be entitled to have everything wrapped up and not be left wondering about stuff. Wouldn't you? Or maybe that's just me. It smacks of arrogance from Aleatha Romig if she thinks she can treat readers like that.


- The Whole Relationship Between Senor Dickhead And The Bird Brained Idiot.

I know this book is fiction but IT IS STILL NOT OKAY, NOR WILL IT EVER BE OKAY TO ABDUCT, SEXUALLY ABUSE, MENTALLY ABUSE, AND PHYSICALLY ABUSE SOMEONE SO BAD THEY END UP IN A COMA FOR TWO WEEKS. But that is what this story implies by giving Tony redemption in the form of his own HEA. It doesn't matter that he loves Claire, it doesn't matter if he says he is sorry it's still wrong and shouldn't be forgiven. EVER. A theme that ran through all three books was; Behaviours Have Consequences. So wouldn't it have been fitting if the ultimate consequence for Tony's behaviour was he lost everything? Yes Tony confessed to what he did to her and went to prison (for only two might I add) but the way it was written, it was as if he was noble for confessing. Um no. Going to prison should be the very least of what happens to him.

Let me ask you a hypothetical question: If your sister endured the abuse Claire endured at the hands of Tony wouldn't you feel über protective and want her and her child nowhere near him? Yes you say? Well that's how Claire's sister Emily behaves. But In The World According To Aleatha Romig you write Emily as being the one in the wrong for this.

I actually have more to rant about especially in regards to the whole Team Tony bollocks but I can't be bothered.
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Reading Progress

March 15, 2014 – Started Reading
March 15, 2014 – Shelved
March 20, 2014 – Finished Reading
May 9, 2014 – Shelved as: repetition-repetition
May 10, 2014 – Shelved as: nuke-that-shit-from-orbit
January 31, 2019 – Shelved as: not-a-romance
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: stop-annoying-me-ffs
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: why-did-i-read-this
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: hope-the-hero-forever-steps-on-lego
June 19, 2019 – Shelved as: contemporary

Comments Showing 1-13 of 13 (13 new)

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message 1: by Angela (new)

Angela WHOA, excellent ranty review!
(and your fur-babies are adorable! *Purrs*)

message 2: by Kat (new) - rated it 1 star

Kat Ta, babes. And they really are even if I do say so myself. :)

message 3: by Angela (new)

Angela I have a tuxedo tabby myself. She's pretty danged cute too! And rotten. =)

message 4: by Kat (new) - rated it 1 star

Kat Angela wrote: "I have a tuxedo tabby myself. She's pretty danged cute too! And rotten. =)"

Mine aren't too bad for the most part. A bit spoiled which I blame on my parents when they were looking after them when I was at university. The main drama involves my boy cat humping his sister so much she gets angry at him and starts growling.

message 5: by Angela (new)

Angela LOL! Oh noes! You might need to break out the squirt bottle before she gets him good. Mine is good *most* of the time, but when she want attention- she wants it NOW! And, she has a conniption if I DARE try to go to the bathroom by myself. It's very hard to pee when your kitty is eye-balling you. Just sayin'.

message 6: by Kat (new) - rated it 1 star

Kat :-D Cats, God love 'em.

message 7: by Ira (new) - rated it 2 stars

Ira Oh, how I agree with you! I started the 3rd book hesitantly and that was two days ago. I haven't even gone beyond 10%. Can you please tell me what happens in the book, like a short summary marked as spoiler?

message 8: by Kat (new) - rated it 1 star

Kat I actually think I covered everything in my review. If there's something specific you'd like to know, then I'll try and help you out. :)

message 9: by Lisa (new)

Lisa This review made me chuckle. I waded through the first book at a very slow pace (it drove me nuts) and instead of reading the next two books I read varying reviews to find out what happened.
Basically, I surmised that thank god I didn't read anymore as they obviously stink!!
Thanks for not making me feel alone in my dislike of this trilogy/ five or six books! Yikes!

message 10: by Terra (new)

Terra Thanks for your review. I got through the first two books (barely) and I really didn't want to keep reading. I wanted to know how it ended so I looked up the reviews and I enjoyed yours a hundred times more than either of the books. So thank you, I am so done with this series.

message 11: by Marie (new) - rated it 1 star

Marie I read the first book, killed myself getting 1/2 way through Truth, read a review with spoilers. Then thank god I returned the book and gave it up. I was SO happy to see your review with spoilers because I didn't want to read the whole series. I honestly want to know what kind of person actually gives these books 5 stars.

message 12: by Marie (new) - rated it 1 star

Marie AND it looks like the whole story could really be put into the first book that is almost 600 pages. I would like to know what Amber had to do with Catherine.

message 13: by Over (new)

Over Dramatic "But I guess you'd think this way if your name is Claire and you are a fucktard." HAHAHAHA I cannot!!
We share the same thoughts. what's with the team tony and 5-stars.. flares me up.

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